The Archive · 2009–2026
17 years. Hundreds of essays. Start anywhere.
The Invisible Cost of Shitty Design
I Made Claude Do My Bookkeeping. It Made One Mistake.
Is "Intentionally Irrelevant" the Next American Dream?
The Future of Email
The #1 Skill of the Year
The (New) Cost of Time
Stop Trying to Eat the Buffalo 🦬
Exactly How I'd Build a (Fun!) $1M Wine Biz
"Professional" is the New Cringe
A Field Guide to Pushy People, Lobsters, and Selling Online
Your Sales Page Needs a Shower 🚿
The Farmer Who Hid from Paying Customers
Crap Offer? No Offer? TRY THIS.
The $182,000 Email (You Didn't Write, Dammit)
I Look Like Prince Valium from Spaceballs 🤣
Are You Getting Paid Enough?
Big, Fat, Orangutan-Sized Egg Noodles
I'll Probably Suck Your Brains
Welp, Cut My Finger Off
No Crying in Baseball, Ash!
A Can of America's Sh*ttiest Beer
Feces on the Subway, Mmmhhmmmmmmm
Decapitated Muppet Vibes
Cure for Not Being a Chicken Sh*t
The $1,919.61 Email That Almost Made Me Amish
Big, Old, Fat Hot Dogs
Dear World: I’d Rather Be a Boob-Tart Than a Bittersweet Tragedy
Puglia + Aperol Spritzes + Return to Happiness
Dear World: Crock Pots Are F*cking Magical
Wedgies, euthanasia & 2,456 unanswered emails
Dear World: My House Wants to Sit On My Face
Offline 💧 Dreams, Print Newspapers & Delightful Days
Dear World: You Are Eating Your Zip Code
Dear World: Let's Shut Off Our F**king Phones
Dear World: The Kind of Hell You Choose Will Always Determine the Kind of Freedom You Have
I Don't Want Your Email, Jack-OOOO
Memorable as a Rice Cake = Broke Cakes
Dear World: I Moved to the Country for "The Simple Life." It's Cost Me More Than Traveling the World Ever Did.
Dear World: Rural America Isn’t as “Peaceful” as You Think
Dear World: You’ve Never Had Hummus?
Dear World: My 92-Year-Old Neighbor Died
Dear World: If You Need a Ballsy Brand Name, I Have Some Ballsy Advice
You Want the Money? You Gotta Write.
Dear World: You Were Born to Be a Lightning Rod
Want Your Ambition Back? Put Yourself in the Right Rooms
Dear World: Why Does Everything Have to Be "Worth It?"
Dear World: I Paid $46,887 in Interest in Just Two Years. (Here's What They Don't Tell You About Mortgages.)
Dear World: Being an Adult is Largely a Very Long Game of Trying to Not Get F*cked Over
Dear World: If You're Thinking About Giving it All Up to Do Something Different, *This is for You*
Dear World: Sometimes "Making It" Can Feel Dirty
Dear World: The Internet Has Chlamydia Again
Dear World: I’m Not Answering My Phone
Dear World: I Have Been Baptized in Glitter and Bacon Grease
Dear World: I Think I Gaslit Myself Into Productivity
Dear World: Are You High? (And Other Things I've Been Wondering About Life)
Dear World: Nobody Has Time to Do Laundry When You're Busy Making Yourself Come...Alive
Dear World: You Should Be Rich as Hell
Dear World: This Paint Color Looks Like Dehydrated Dog Puke
Dear World: I Cut Through My Floor and Found Satan (His Name Was Water Damage)
Dear World: I’m Starting a Wallpaper Company. No, I Haven’t Lost My Mind.
You Don't Look Stupid: A Grown-Ass Guide to Self-Reinvention
Ooooh, You Fool! How to Kill Your Imposter Syndrome With My FAVORITE Trick Ever 🔪
How to Find Your Next Big Love Affair With Life
How to Do What You Love from Anywhere in the World
Miracle-Gro Doesn't Sell Fertilizer (And You're Not Selling What You Think, Either)
Every Time You Flake on Yourself, Your Brain Takes Notes
“Sleep Is a Skill” Made Me Stand Up and Clap. Your Brand Name Should Do That.
What a Fictional British Aunt Can Teach You About Selling Bedsheets
How to Become Rich as Hell With Your Art
You'd Never Name an Air Conditioner “July”—Which Is Exactly Why It Works
Put “Jane Doe Needs Pasta” at the Top of Your Website. Trust Me.
"You Need a Platform" (And Other Things We Secretly Hate Worrying About)
The Netflix Show That Accidentally Explains Why Nobody's Coming to Your Business
Branding Your Work is a Hilarious Cruel Punishment from the Gods
How to Stop Forcing Sh*t
Kia Called It “Nightfall.” Ford Called It “Black Appearance Package.” Guess Who Sells the Fantasy.
Changing Careers When You’re Middle-Aged is Hard Because You Feel Like an Idiot
The Disappearance of Your Nightdress (Or: Why Old Movies Are a Branding Goldmine)
“Let's See If You Qualify”: The Pretentious Opt-In Trick That Actually Works
The #1 Rule for Launching a Hot-Ass Successful Project: You Gotta Keep it *Simple*
How Do You Sell a Bench for $45,160?
I Think the Tulips Are Trying (And 18 Other Names Begging to Become Brands)
This Lesson About a Woman Named Janet Will Help You Smash Your Newsletter
Meet Me Where the WiFi's Bad: Yearbook Scribbles That Would Slaughter as Brand Names
This Lesson About Friendship Will Help You Sell Way, Way More 🚀
Neighborhood Newsletter??????
It's HERE! 🌱 Let's Make a Local Newsletter Together This Spring
Somebody Please Steal “Public Skate” Before I Start a Creative Agency Out of Spite
This Lesson About Finding Your Voice Can Resurrect Your Soggy, Dying Career Ambitions
The Bookshop That Only Sells Five Books (And Would Out-Earn Yours)
This Lesson About Sandwiches Can Make You *Rich*
Five Businesses I'm Giving Away Free, Including One About Hotel Minibars
I Got My Yard Designed, and It Changed the Way I Do Business
Start a Local Newsletter: The Ultimate How-to Guide
Personality is the New Marketing
People Talk About the Things They Love
What the Smartest People Are Doing to Change Careers in 2025
Your Work Is Not Expensive—Your Work is Misunderstood
'The Quiet Passion': Is This Where Your Purpose Has Been Hiding All Along?
'The Shallow Hustle': Is Your Career Big Enough for You?
Reinvent Yourself Using These Super Helpful Reframes (So You Don't Feel Like a Big, Fat Imposter)
Starting a Newsletter, Darling?
How to Get Un-Fricking-Stuck as an Adult
Dear World: There is Only ONE Big, Fat Golden Rule of Country Living: Never Let The Pipes Freeze
Learn With Ash: Set Up Your First Substack Newsletter With Me 💪
Dear World: LOOK, MY PORCH LIGHT IS NOW ON! THIS IS A SIGN! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE! I WILL EAT YOUR UNBORN CHILDREN.
3 Things to Help You Do Work You Love from Anywhere This Year
Can You Really Airbnb Your House While You Travel the World?
I Am Eating Pickled Deer Heart
Why Paid Newsletters Will Make You Poor (If You Don't Know This Math)
Dear World: I Am Stuck in a Snowstorm & I Smell Like Voldemort’s Cousin
How to Launch Your New Thing With *Joy*
I Am Eating Alfredo Sauce in a Strip Mall
8 Things I'd Do *Today* to Build a Bingeworthy Newsletter Even Tina Fey Would Want to Read
Dear World: I Have Farmhouse Tit Sweat. And Lemme Tell You About This Mold.
3 Ballsy Brand Moves (You Should Copy This Year)
Dear World: I Am at an Event Called "The Dirt Squirts"
Dear World: I Can’t Stop Thinking About How Different Life is in the Country Than in the City
Bought the Wrong Fn Watering Can
Dear World: I Can't Believe There's English Muffin BREAD
Unconventional Career Idea 💡 Make & Sell Your Own Templates
9 Boundaries You Should Set With New Clients
Unconventional Career Idea 💡 Sell a Monthly Subscription to Your Work
Unconventional Career Idea 💡 Make & Sell Your First Online Course
Dear World: I Am Learning the Lost Art of "Sucking It Up"
Unconventional Career Idea 💡Become a Nostalgia Curator
Dear World: I Have Theories About How to Change Your Life
23 Questions That Will Help You Decide Which Business to Start
Unconventional Career Idea 💡Become a Local Relocation Consultant
How to Work from Anywhere
If Your Sales are Slow, You Need This
Unconventional Career Idea 💡 Try the *New* Affiliate Marketing
Dear World: I Have Become—Brace Yourself—an Outdoorsy Person
6 Secrets to Pricing Yourself Beautifully
Unconventional Career Idea 💡 Start a Paid Newsletter (That Actually Pays)
Dear World: I Am Doing Weird Hillbilly Things
'I Want to Sell Online Courses'
Unconventional Career Idea 💡 Create a Fun Online Fan Club
Unconventional Career Idea💡 Start a Modern Newspaper
Dear World: I Think I Am Gardening
13 Reasons You Should Take Off Your Sissy Pants & Self-Publish
Unconventional Career Idea 💡 Become a Mobile Wedding Writer
3 Scripts for Firing a Client Who's Just Not on Your Level
Dear World: I Quit My Life 🔪 & Moved to the Woods 🏡
40 Things Every Grown-Up Needs to Make Good Money With Their Craft
Dear World: I Am Going to Iceland to Eat Ram's Testicles
The "Giant Squid" Method of Finding Your Niche
Dear World: I Officially Plunged the Toilet of a Dollar General
I Am Seriously Overthinking This 🔪
11 Ways a Newsletter Can Make You Rich 🔪
Dear World: I Am Standing in This Street With a Beer
God, I'm Going to Explode
Ask Ash: 'Why Would Anyone Pick Me? I'm Struggling to Figure Out How to Stand Out from the Crowd'
Dear World: I Am Trying to Figure Out What to Do With This Dead Racoon
Ask Ash: 'Should I Go Into Business With a Friend?'
Dear World: I Am Really Not Sure About This Salad
Ask Ash: 'Does Anybody Really Want to Be on Social Media Anymore?'
Dear World: I Don't Know How to Be Normal
Dear World: I Am in a Furniture Store and It Hurts
How to Make Yourself MAGNETIC ⚡️
Ask Ash: 'Should I Be Asking Clients for a Deposit? How Can I Make It Less Awkward?'
Dear World: I Have Questions About These Policies
Dear World: I Am Waving at People All Wrong
Ask Ash: 'I'm Scared to Death to Get on the Phone With Prospective Clients—What if They Say It's Too Expensive???'
Dear World: I Am Trying to Mail This Letter
Ask Ash: ‘We Want to Go Abroad for a Year, and Need Advice on How to Sustain Ourselves Financially.'
Want to Write a Book? Here's Surprising Advice.
Dear World: I Am Searching for My Youth in This Bar
Ask Ash: 'I'm Recently Divorced and Find Myself Desperately Needing a Grand Advanture. How Much Does It Cost to Travel for 3 Months in Style?'
You Can Make $100K Doing Almost Anything These Days
Dear World: I Am in a Duel With This Toilet
Ask Ash: 'I Don't Have Any Experience.'
Dear World: I Don't Know How to Pay This Bill
Ask Ash: 'I Am Worried I Am Old, Ridiculous & Irrelevant. The Idea of Putting Myself Out There is So Daunting.'
Dear World: I Am Confused About People
Ask Ash: 'I Want to Touch the Sky but Everyone Keeps Telling Me I Am Being Stupid'
Dear World: I Have Gained 20 Pounds Since Arriving to America
Ask Ash: 'I Want to Travel Italy. Learn How to Cook. People Watch in Courtyards. And Spend My Afternoons Writing a Book.'
Dear World: I Am at a Truck Stop Diner
I Needed to Go Offline to Be Happy Again
Can We Really Follow Our Passions, or Are We Too F*cking Tired?
Confession: I Did Not Like Living in Costa Rica
"But, What's My Passion? What's My Thing???"
Why Aren't More People Doing Remarkable, Interesting Work?
Dear World: I Don't Want This Fucking Freezer
Wanting to Make Money Does Not Make You Greedy: An Open Letter to Bitches Who Wanna Sell Stuff Online
How to Rake in Big $$$ With Your Creative Biz
Dear World: You Probably Need Some Goddamn Alone Time
Say THIS to Get 759,000% More Money in the Door Before the Holidays
A Conservative Considers Moving Abroad—But Then Gets Cold Feet
How to Charge More Money for Your Time: A Guide for Introverts & Nice People
Dear World: I Am Terrified of This Basement
Dear World: I Do Weird Things in America
When Your Job is Balls, But You Don’t Know What Else to Do
Dear World: I Bought This House and Then Had a Stroke
I Ripped Out an Entire Kitchen With My Bare F*cking Hands
“I Write for 3 Hours a Day, Fucking Period.”
Dear World: I Am Going to Be Murdered in This Garage
Dear World: I (Still) Don't Want Kids
Unconventional Career Spotlight: Make $100K+ With Online Courses
Dear World: I Bought a Big, Weird House in the Countryside as a Woman By Myself
On Getting the Nerve to Be HAPPY
15 Reasons Why Small Towns = The New Self Care
Imposter Syndrome is Robbing the F*ck Out of Us All
This is Robbing the F*ck Out of Us All
What Happened to Popsicles, Fireflies, Laying in the Grass, and Letting the World be Miraculous???
You Can’t Ignore the Things You Know in Your Heart
An Ode to Free Time & Faded Cut-Off Jeans: A Manifesto for Living Better and Working Less
The Kind of Life Your Nervous System Loves
Take the Risks You’ll Remember Forever
Don’t Get a Job. Get an Obsession. It’s the Best Way to Be Happy With Your Work.
I Don't Want to Have to Be "On"Anymore
Dear World: I'm at a Cottage in the Middle of the Woods
Finding Your Passion is a Bitch
Go the F*ck Outside—The Internet is Screwing With Your Happiness
Dear World: I Ate Tiny Little Sea Terrorists & Didn't Scream
Can You Really Make Money Writing on Substack?
Venice, Italy: Perfect if You Want a Fast-Moving Town Full of Life, Culture, Food, Fascinating People, and a Special Quality You Can't Find Anywhere Else
Your Art is Worth Money (And Brains Are Assholes)
I'm Drinking a 5-Pack of Beer
Travel is the Closest I’ve Ever Been to God
The Anxiety of Doing Anything Marginally Interesting With Your Life
This Stupidly Cute Small Town Almost Made Me Move to Freakin' Illinois
Galena, Illinois: Perfect if You Want Walkability, an Adorable Main Street, Historic Architecture, and Locals Who Actually...Wave???
How to Reinvent Yourself This Year (Hint: Trust the Things That Excite You)
Small-Town Girl Goes to Starbucks & Learns Valuable Life Lessons
Lincoln, Nebraska: Perfect if You Want a Buzzy, Lively, Mid-Sized Town With Great Food, Cool Buildings & Youthful Energy
I Am Eating a Very Large Sausage
The Curmudgeon's Pros/Cons to Costa Rica
Castles, Cowardly Choices & Dangerous Opinions
No Babies, No Regrets & The Myth of “Settling Down”
Vomit, $7K Whoppers & The Adult Nomad
Casserole, Granny Prayers & Freelance Fart Fumes
Pricks, Workaholic Weird & Instagram Cockroaches
The new digital nomad has 💰 💰 💰
She helps people write the book 📖 of their dreams—and she's earned a cool $250,000 💰 doing it in just 24 months 🌟
Working less 🥵, saving your sanity 🙏, and the guy who makes $250K sailing around the world ⛵️
He sails around the world on his boat ⛵️—and earns $250K a year writing SEO content 📝
Trusting your voice 📣, working while traveling 🛩, and the web designer who makes $500K/year 👩💻
This introverted web designer 👩💻 earns $500,000/year...without working herself to death 🌟 Here's her secret!
A nomad cash flow trick, an obsession with Slovenia, and making $1.5 million writing recipes 🍝 🌮 🍕
This couple makes $1.5M a year writing recipes 🌮—and they do it all from their home in Hawaii 🌴
This artist makes a million a year 💰 drawing sketches on YouTube ▶️
Kicking Imposter Syndrome in the Nards
Permission to Flake
She earns $842,000 a year without an email list. 🤯 Here's how.
The "Pig Farmer" Edition
The "Don't Eat Bread Like a Heathen" Edition
This Mom of Two Earns $960,000 a Year Showing People How to Make Clothes Online
The "F*ck It, I'm Buying a Cabin" Edition
The "Surprising Secret to Nomad Success" Edition
The "Wine Pours, Awkward Restaurant Moments, and Packaging Your Services" Edition
The "Whisky, Pasta, and WTF Should I Charge???" Edition
The "Where the Hell Are We Staying???" Edition
Tornado Warnings, Pepperoni Pizzas & Castles (THE USUAL) | NOTE: short, mostly links + one travel anecdote
This Couple Needed to Turn Their Blog Into a Business: Here’s How I’d Turn Their Hot Topic Into Top Dollar
The New Salary is Here: Soon, Digital Nomads Will Out-Earn the Average Professional—And Be a Lot Happier, Too
The Cost of Not Traveling: Featuring Mexico City, Eyeball Tacos, and "Travel Karens"
This Etiquette Consultant Needed a New About Page: Here's How I'd Make People Scream to Work With Her
How to Do Email Marketing Without a Scuzz Hangover: Modern Ideas for Creators, Digital Nomads & Other Wonderful Humans Online
48 to Freedom
The Romantic, Creative Spirit of Lisbon, Portugal—And Why This T-Rex-Hearted City is the (New) New York for Digital Nomads
This Irish Tour Company Needed to Differentiate Themselves: Here's How I'd Go From Invisible to Un-F*cking-Forgettable
The Real Key to Earning $250,000/Year as a Creator (And Why More People Aren’t)
The Whole Wide World Isn’t Big Enough for You, Darling
This Tattoo Artist Needed Less Overwhelm, More Money: Here's How I'd Grow the Biz Without the Burn Out
Client Weird About Your Contract? Say This and They’ll Happily Sign (While Probably Hugging You)
This London Tour Guide Needed to Scale Her Biz: Here's How I'd Add $250K to Her Bottom Line
“F*ck Doing It All”: How Sharp-Toothed Maverick Grit Can Sell Your Products to Complete Strangers
This Coach Needed a Fresh New Message That Stood Out: Here’s How I Took Her from “Same” to “Fame” in 15 Minutes
Dreaming of Becoming a Digital Nomad? Here’s a $25,000 Reason Why You Should Take the Leap
Searching for Meaning in Life? Psst, It's Hiding In Your EMOTIONS
This Cake Designer Could Be Making Millions: Here’s How She Can 10X Her Income (And Make Us All Hungry)
How to Stop Writing With a Stick Up Your Rump: A Foolproof Way to Add More Personality Without Being Unprofessional
Does Your Writing Suffer from Overthinking? 3 Signs You Need to Trust Your Voice More—And Outside Opinions Less
The Fear of Being Uninteresting (And a Crappy Plot Twist): Is Originality Actually Preventing You From Being Happy?
This Bitch Got 600K Instagram in a Year: Here's How She's Making That Magic! (Middle Finger Fridays)
Um, Hello: Your Newsletter NEEDS This New Feature 😲 (Game-Changer!) | NOTE: dated product-feature news, borderline
ConvertKit is the BEST Newsletter Tool for Creators— And Here’s the (Surprising) Reason Why
I Made $5M Self-Publishing Books Online—Here Are 7 Things I’d Do Differently if I Were Starting From Scratch in 2022
How to Prove Yourself to Non-Believers (& Other Dollar Store Peanut Trolls)
Digital Creators Shouldn't Build a Team Unless They Like Babysitting......A Lot.
Want to Earn a Damn Good Living as a Creator? Keep. It. Simple.
Your Happiness 401(k): Are You Budgeting Enough Joy in Your Life?
Burned Out? Doing This Daily Changed My Life
3 Mistakes EVERYONE Makes With Their Homepage Headline (That Can Seriously Flatline Your Messaging)
How to Nail Your Friggin’ Message, Once and For All, Using This Trick
The Magic Message Bootcamp x Ukraine—NOW OPEN
Happiness, Being Your Damn Self & Starting the Business That Makes You Brave
How to Market Yourself in 2022—And Make ALL The Clients Come to Your Yard
“I Want More Adventure & Whimsy In My Life”—And the Worst Advice I Ever Read On Getting It
It’s Okay to Be Done With Good Things
Selling With Email—How to Transition from "Hello, Yay, Friends" to "BUY M' STUFF, BISH."
What's the "Ash Ambirge" Method for Growing a Newsletter in a Meaningful Way?
How to Add Urgency to Products Available All the Time (It's Possible!)
Should You Automate Your Emails? My Surprising Answer
How to Attract an Audience With a Bomb-Ass Content Strategy Plan
How to Monetize The H#!! Out of a Blog
The Freaking Formula to Printing Money (Even Though I Hhh—aaayyyyy—teeee Formulas)
But, Where Are Le People???
[VIDEO] Try This Marketing Hack (+ James Bond Spy Tips) | NOTE: video-only email
The Case for the Paid Newsletter (HUZZAH)
Ash Talks Sexy About Email Opt-Ins—And Exactly What Yours Should Say
Listen: Do What You Crave Without the Guilt. Travel to Italy. Enroll in That Workshop. Make Your Art Every Afternoon. And Hurl Yourself Into the Unknown—For This Is The Best ROI That Money Can Buy.
You Aren't Being "Difficult" and You Aren't a Bother. You're a Professional Who's Got Their Shit Together.
Bake a Cake and Shut Your Mouth: Or, How to Be Unhappy, Unfulfilled, and a Martyr to Your Own Life
Your Aunt Judy's Ass Has More Perspective Than You or Me Right Now
Big Money & Simple Ease: I Want to Prove You Can Have It All Without Spending It All
No Control, No Sales
The 3 Most Important Numbers
Launch Unfinished
Pleasure, Money, Newsletters & Emotions
Writing, Houses & Hot Dogs: A Love Story
On Not Thinking With Your Cultural Crotch
You Can't Be One Thing Forever, My Darling
On Being DONE With Your Work: A Guilt-Free Approach to To-Do Lists
16 Words That'll Help You Defeat Refund Bullies Over the Phone
On Giving Refunds with Kindness (But Taking No Shit)
How I Got an Interview On The Today Show!!!
What I Said to the Journalist, Word-for-Word (Got Me Featured in Newspaper!)
"But How Do I Get Exposure for My Little Biz?!"
Welp, Finland's #1 AGAIN for World Happiness, Those Clever Bastards—Here's Why
Read If You're Thinking, "I Want to Go Freelance, But Who the Hell is Going to Pay Me?!"
On Having "Enough Experience," Portfolios (Yay or Nay?), And Getting Taken SeRiOuSlY.
The Trick to Writing a Bangin' Resume, Punching Imposter Syndrome in the Mouth, and the Best New Podcast on The Block (NO, NOT MINE)
You Know the Best Way to Sell a Service? GATEWAY DRUGS, MY FRIEND.
Unintimidated HQ™️—My New Communication Company Inspired by Kamala Harris 💪
(A Really Good) Answer to, "How Do I Stand Out in a Sea Full of Competitors?!"
Are You Making This Mistake With Your Lead Magnet? (It's Super Duper Common.)
Why You Should Never Do Another Free Client Call Again
"You're Too Expensive"—NONSENSE, KITTEN. Here's Your Reply.
Free Email Template: Pay Your Invoice, Bitch
Free Email Template: Switch Your Clients to Retainer the Easy Way
I Was On BBC Radio London—ARE YOU DYING???
I Wrote a Book About Changing Careers—And Here's My Advice to Donald J. Trump, CAPS PIRATE III
"Fuck It, Not Voting, Doesn't Matter"—And the Surprising Reason Why It Actually Does
Right Now, Someone Out There is Admiring You, Greatly.
You Don't Exist to Please Dipshits
[New Podcast ?] Abortion, Guns, God & Pussies—And Is Civil War Inevitable?
Decide What Really Fucking Matters to You
Can You Be Educated and Ignorant?
Should You Talk Politics in Business? Or Stay Neutral and Keep Your Mouth Shut?
Talking Trash: How It Helped Elect the World's Most Dangerous President
Why Donald Trump’s Crude Messaging Lands With Rural Voters—Despite Notorious Christian Values
Can Americans Ever Like Each Other Again?
A Note on Writing, Politics & What the Hell We're Doing Now
The Hidden Shame of Entrepreneurship—And Why For Some People, It's Really Frigging Hard to Sell Themselves
Is Your Bio Absolute Trash? It May Be Missing This Key Ingredient
Start a Boring Business—Not an Innovative One. (Also Filed Under: Business Advice I Never Thought I'd Give.)
Your Job is Not to Change the World Overnight, But to Be a Tiny, Torturous Drip on the Forehead
I Unpublished My Business Facebook Page—And I've Never Felt So Liberated
White Apathy and The Bullshit Argument That "They Could Help Themselves If They Really Wanted To"
I Googled "How to Pit an Olive" and IT BLEW MY MIND. (You Need to Know This.)
5 Apps Every Creative Business Needs to Get Their Shit in Order (With Extra Love for Non-Planney Types)
"The Money's Too Good to Give Up" and Other Nonsense I am GOING TO SPANK WITH A JELLYFISH
10 Things That'll Make You Go "Ooh, Oooh, Oooohh!" (Especially if You're in Online Business)
A Virus Can Keep You Inside, But It Can't Keep Your Ideas There
1 Extra Sale Per Day = $3,000 Extra Per Month—And Here's How to Get It!
Use a Deadline The Way You Use Condoms: Every. Freaking. Time. (And Other Sales Lessons You Need!)
The Emergency Money Workshop: REGISTER FREE HERE >
#REALTALK: Here's What Saved ~My~ Business
HOLY OTTER URINE ON A DONUT! If You're Stressed About $$$, I'm Donating My Time to Help.
Rec for Taxes (Save Us All)
I'm Gonna Be on The Jenny McCarthy Show—YOU GOTTA TUNE IN!
Can't Believe I Said This to JENNY F*CKING MCCARTHY
Calling Anyone Who Wants to Write a Book!
People Got PiSsSsED at Me Last Year for Promoting B-School
It Doesn't Matter Where You Start. But Waiting to Start Will Kill You.
What's Your Little Ball? (Not to Be Confused With: "Your Little Balls.")
What Is It With Building Contractors? REALLY THO. (Plus a Lesson on Pre-Qualifying Your Clients Or Die.)
I Tattooed My Eyelids! Or: On Just Showing the Friggy Frig Up
Interview Me for The Middle Finger Project Book!
13 Reasons Why That Crafty D-Bag is Making More Money Than You
Oh, Get a F*cking Grip, Already
Psst—Here's an Original, Thoughtful, Fun-Loving Holiday Script to Send Your Clients TODAY (So It Doesn't Look Like You Forgot!)
A Hot Sales Tip, A Hot Marketing Tip, and a Hot Book Tip Walk Into a Bar
Sean Ogle is a Bitch. Wouldn't It Be Funny If That Were the Title? It's Not, This Post is Entirely About Me and You. WEIRD.
A Handy F*cking Checklist of Everything You Can Write Off as an Online Business Owner Before the End of the Year (LIKE UNPAID INVOICES, WHAT!)
The Commitment-Phobe's Guide to Making a Decision When The Grass is Always Greener and YOU CAN'T STICK TO ANYTHING.
I'm The Least Spiritual Fuck On the Planet
NOW AVAILABLE, OMG: Pre-Order The Book! Pre-Order The Book! I'm An Excitable Thirty-Five Year Old Woman Who Can't Use Her Library Voice!
OH HELL YEAH: Book Pre-Orders Open at 6:24am ET on Black Friday!
The Secret to Getting Yo' Brilliant Ass Featured in a Major Magazine
THE BIG BOOK COVER REVEAL! See Also: The Time I Tried to Convince You to Become a Serial Killer.
How I Went From Fifteen-Year-Old Trailer Park Trash to Rich Bitch—And The Surprising Secret to My Success
Disobedient Book of the Week: Don't Keep Your Day Job, by Cathy Heller
Percentage Off or Flat Rate? Memorize This Bomb-Ass Trick
The Tired Excuse That Women Need to Stop Making (Have You Ever Used It?)
Pricing Your Stuff: THE DEEP, DARK SECRET YOU NEVER KNEW
The Four Paragraph Email You ~Need~ to Memorize For When Clients Owe You Money (But You Aren't Sure What to SAY)
The Halloween Email Your Clients Will LOVE (Hint: It's a Promo ~In Disguise~)
How to Get Back to Feeling Like Your Old Self Again
The 1% Rule for When You're Feeling Rather "MEH, SUCKS" About Everything and Everyone, Even That Hot Pastry Chef
Introducing: The First Annual “Wipe Your Buns With $30,000” Challenge! (Haha, I’m Not Even Kidding.)
"I Don't Know What I Want to Dooooo, And I'm Kinda Confused, and I'm Feeling Like a Flakey Little Fruitcake, Ash!"
Unf*ckwithable Business
If I Were an Internet Douche, "5x Your Revenue" Would Be The Title of This Post, LOL.
UM, QUESTION: What are the Things You Hate, Actually *Giving* You...Homie?
Updates! Books! New Classes! Speaking in London! (And a few fun rants.)
Feeling Overwhelmed (And Who Friggin' Isn't?): Ask Yourself This Three-Word Question
If You Ain't Feelin' Your Work Anymore: HONEY, BURN THAT ISH DOWN.
How to Be a Bitch About Money: The 8 Money Policies Every Freelancer NEEDS to Avoid Getting Burned Like a Ham Sandwich—Including the Rock-Solid Refund Policy That Slays
The Easy, Eloquent, Smooth and Non-Salesy Way to Sell Your Clients MORE—Using One Simple Word
YOU AREN'T CHARGING ENOUGH. Here Are Twenty Big, Fat Reasons Why.
Ten Urgent Lessons Women Need to Learn About Making Money—Without Apology
29 Creative Ways You Can Find Some Extra Money on the Fly, In a Pinch, When You're Strapped and When You're All: SOS, Cash Flow Where'd You Go?!
Ladies: DO NOT LET THEM MONEY-SHAME YOU
You Have This GREAT IDEA, But You're Hesitant to Take the Leap. Could This Be Why?
9 Rookie Mistakes I Made When I Wrote My Very First Book Proposal (Don't Do This!)
Answers to Your Questions About Book Deals + The Publishing Process! (Plus An Army Tank, The Nickname "Butch," and My Favorite New Compliment: CREAMY.)
Writing a Book? Curious About the Publishing Process? Submit Your Q's Here!
Biggggg Announcements! Four of Them! (Featuring the Word, "JizzlePants," In Case You Weren't Already Tempted)
Nervous That Being Your Big, Silly Self Won't Seem "Professional?" This Story Will Help.
Don't Forget I Have a Magic Wand for Bookkeeping + Taxes! (Especially if You're All, "I Haven't Even THOUGHT About That Stuff Yet, GAH.")
The Surprising Reason Why I Decided to Buy My Own (GASP!) Apartment—As an Independent Woman With Her Own Money and Her Own Mind
What to Do When Your Work No Longer Inspires You—And Everything Feels Like Ass-Flavored Drudgery
[NOW OPEN!] Register Now for B-School and Get a Private, 60-Minute Call With Me
Dream Zappers, Thought Terrorists, and Why You Should Be Weary of Anyone Who Tells You "I'm Just Looking Out for You"
How to Start an Online Business When You Are Not an “Internet Person”—And Are Seriously Doubting That You Can Do This
I Hate Mantras, And YET—I Love This One for When You're Kinda Sorta Shitting Your Pants
OH, NO, SORRY TO DISAPPOINT. All Fucks Are Currently on Backorder. We'll Alert You When This Item Is Back in Stock.
No, You're Not Overreacting. You're Not Reading Into It Too Much. And You're Not Being Overly Emotional, Either.
You Can't Sell a $50 Steak to Someone Who's There for a $2 Enchilada
The Best Online Bookkeepers On the PLANET—Now for Freelancers, Creatives + Side Hustles! HOORAH.
Taking Time Off for the Holidays but HAVEN'T TOLD YOUR CLIENTS? Here’s a Proven Script You Can Use (That Won’t Put Anyone's Undies in a Bunch)
Boo-Yah, Time to Raise Your Rates! Here's a Proven Script You Can Use (That Won’t Even Make It a Little Bit Awkward)
"Will You Get Off My NUTS?!" And Other Things People Are NOT Thinking About You When You Market to Them
The Three-Word Trick for Giving Your Content an Insta-Boner (Ooohhh, She Said The B Word!)
The Top 10 Rookie Mistakes That Will Royally F*ck-Up Your Shot at a Book Deal, Y'all
The All-New Rules for Writing Magnificent Shit on the Internet
"We Don't See You Fucking Up As Much as YOU See You Fucking Up": My New Podcast Interview with Jess Lorimer on Selling Yourself Bravely
On Branding Your Work With Balls (Featuring THE BEST QUESTION EVER)
For My People-Pleasing Babes Running Themselves Ragged (In Which The Phrase "Suck an Eggplant" Totally Makes an Appearance)
Be Brave, Courageous, Interesting, Crazy, Difficult, Weird, and Downright Complicated. But Don't You Ever Be Normal.
Make 50% of the Population Hate You
We Need You to Give Yourself the Job
How to Introduce Yourself at a Dinner Party Like a Cool-As-A-Cucumber BALLER
Sometimes Wonderful Can Still Be Heavy
Know Who Your Haters Are
One Big, Sexy Question for Instant Clarification On: What the Hell Do I Want to Do With My Life?
How to Write the Perfect Cold-Call Email—Without Making Yourself Sound Like a Grabby Psycho
A Wee Little Heart-to-Heart on The Fear of Being TOO. MUCH.
Writing Books, Trusting The Fuck Out Of Yourself, And The Golden Penis of Website Builders. (In Other Words, A Total Must-Read, You Guys.)
Nine Freaking Months. That's How Long It Takes to Make ONE Episode of The Simpsons.
What Does It Mean to Take Care of Yourself, Right Now?
What to Do When Your Work TAKES OVER YOUR ENTIRE LIFE—and You Need to Get Some Friggin' Boundaries, Up In This Joint
Don't Cower. Don't Make Yourself Small. Be Your Absolute Fucking Self Every Single Day.
The Secret to Success Has Nothing to Do With Happy Horseshit Like "Manifestation"
Sometimes You Fall Into Things. You Fall Into People, Fall Into Places, Fall Into Patterns, Fall Into Deep Dark Obsessions With Red Velvet Cake. (AHEM.)
10 Reminders We All Need When We're Ugly Crying Into Our Vodka and Hate Our Jobs
Blog-TMF Virgins
If Somebody Told Me to Pick a Husband at Age Twenty-Three, I'd Likely Be Waking Up Next to Some Guy Who Can't Spell "Lemon."
Lost Yourself in the Pursuit of “Big and Fucking Impressive?” I GOT A BOOK REC FOR YA.
WE ARE WASTING OUR BRAINS ON BULLSHIT (And Other Darling Sentiments)
Unf*ckwithable Business | Level One
25 Days to $100K Freelancer Challenge!
If You Feel Like a Big, Fat Imposter Who Doesn't Deserve Anything and Worries About EVERYTHING, Read This. It's a GOOD Thing.
"The O Method": My Quick Trick for Standing Out From the Crowd With Your Work
HI!!! It's Me! I'm Breathless! The BIG Announcement Is Finally Here: WE DID A BOOK DEAL WITH PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE!
If You Suck at Numbers And The Term "Balance Sheet" Makes You Nervous Laugh, THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR EFFING LIFE
The One-Hour Rule for Loving the Sh*t Out of Your Life
The A-Z Guide to Becoming an Unf*ckwithable Freelancer IN YO' SLEEP
24 Ways to Love Yourself Fiercely + Bravely—Even When You're Feeling Like a Heaping Hot Mess
You Are Stronger Than You Were Yesterday
Fundamental Truth: You Can't Make Money Unless You're Making Offers
25 Things I Stopped Doing This Year in the Name of "Quiet Happiness"
"It's Too Dangerous to Travel." (And Other Hard Conversations I Had While Driving Through Rural America.)
To The People Who Keep Asking Me When I’m Having a Baby
I Used to Believe That Unless It Was Painful to Achieve, I Didn't Deserve the Money.
The #1 Thing Your Clients Secretly Don't Want You to F*ck Up
"I Want to Do Something Else...But What?" Welcome To The Fucking Question That Everyone Is Asking Themselves.
"Is It Really Better Out There?" For Those Who Grew Up In a Small Town and Left.
Self-Care Isn't Always Glamorous.
There's No Such Thing As An Idea That *Isn’t* Offensive
Not Sure What to Sell? Here's a Shot of Inspiration.
Read This if You Need Eyeballs On Your Stuff But Have NO EFFING IDEA HOW TO GET ANYONE TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU SO HELP YOU VODKA.
THIS VIDEO, THOUGH. Talk About Making Me Hot, Hot, Hot With Desire. (Not That Kind.) (But Maybe?)
Stop Waiting to “Be Ready.” Or “Have Your Ducks in a Row.” Or Until the Baby is Born, or the House is Built, or the Kids Are Older / More Independent / Less of a Pain in the Ass.
Do It Or Dump It? A Note About Selecting Your Priorities Like a Badass Bitch.
Stop. Just Stop. Stop the Overdelivering, Overcommitting, Overworking, Overexertion. Because Overwhelm? We're Over YOU.
Everything About Your Work Feel Heavy, Humdrum & Hard?
Get Over Your Fear of Selling Yourself With This Trick for Showing Up With Confidence, Energy and Ease
Sometimes, Being Difficult Is an Act of Devotion
Don't Sell Your Soul—Sell Your SKILLS.
"What Kind of Business Should I Start?" For Anyone Whose BRAIN! IS EXPLODING! WITH! UNCERTAINTY!
We’re Quick to Throw Away Our Gut Instincts in Favor of Someone Else’s Advice
HEYYYY-OHHHHH, You Should Probably Register Your Trademark Before Someone Steals Your Business Name Out From Under You and Then You Want to Grab a Knife and COMMIT BLOODY, BLOODY MURDER
She Wrote the Book On It
Scared You'll ___________? Here's a Clever Little Mental Tip for Becoming UNF*CKWITHABLE.
We Are Overthinking EVERYTHING
Calling All of My Flakes, My Quitters, My Commitment Clunkers: The Secret to Finishing What You Started Is NOT Patience. (So You Can Tell All Of Those "Have Patience" Hoodlums to Kiss It.)
"You Think Some Other Man is Going to Want You?" A Note on Standing Up to Bullies, Causing a Scene & Never Being Afraid to Use Your VOICE
Every Item On Your To-Do List is a Miniature Contribution To the World
How to (Naturally!) Transition Into a Good-Natured Sales Pitch Over The Phone—Without Seeming Like a Total Greedy, Awkward, Weirdo Troll
Unf*ckwithable Words
Unf*ckwithable Woman
KEEP YOUR EXPENSES SEPARATE OR DIE. (I Think That's What the IRS Said?)
You Hired Someone & Now They've Gone MIA. How Do You Get Your Money Back? (And Not Turn Into an Ax Murderer?)
Things Went Terribly, Horribly Wrong and Now My Client or Customer Wants...A REFUND. (#FML, WHAT DO I DO?)
"Do I Really Need a Formal Client Contract, Orrrr......?" (Answer: F*CK YES, YOU DO!)
NEWS FLASH: Emails Are Legally Binding Contracts. *&!^!)*@&%
A Quick Piece of (Marketing) Advice for Every Broke, Newbie Entrepreneur Who Doesn't Have Two Cents to Rub Together (YET...)
If You’re Making Less Than $300,000, WE NEED TO TALK
Dear Barnes & Noble: I Love You, But You’re Doing It Wrong
There's a Little Something I Like to Call: THE SUCK THRESHOLD
Marketing Is Fucking Weird, Isn't It?
Should You Offer a Payment Plan?
The World's Funniest Fucking Soaps, Uh, Ever
The Three-Deadline Rule for Requesting Client Feedback
$5 Discount or $5 Surcharge?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MISSION STATEMENTS. (Really?)
"Hire Me" versus "Listen To Me"
The Competition Doesn't Have Sh*t On You
"Do I Really Need Three Packages / Tiers / Levels for Selling My Online Course?"
The One Line Script That Will Help You Raise Your Rates Without Sweating, Swearing or Sounding Like a Greedy, No-Good, Finger-Licking Arse
Don't Sell a Product—Sell a Person Their Identity
Burnout's A Bitch—So Maybe You Should Sit Your Ass Down
Good Work Should Never Come Easy
"How Do You Make Money From a Blog / Social Media / Your Grandmother's YouTube Channel?!"
Too Shy to Stand Up and Sing Your Own Praises? Start Here, You Humble Little Lovebug, You.
DO NOT KILL THE PEOPLE SELLING LULAROE. They're Actually Ahead of the Curve—And Here's Why.
For the Love of Everything Vodka: Do You Even *Like* the Work That You're Doing???
"I AM The Best—And I Didn't Get That Way By Letting Other People Call the Shots"
A Note of Support for All My Dreamers Getting Their Ideas Pooh-Poohed By Their Family, Their Friends, Their Spouses, and Their Neighbors (Fucking Neighbors, Am I Right?)
You Are F*cking Crazy If You Don't Have a Self-Published Book on Amazon
#WRITINGTIP: Action Verbs When You Need Someone to ACT
My Two-Word Trick for Getting Over the Hump When You Have ZERO Motivation to Work On That Awful Client Project and You Sorta Kinda Hate Life and Humans In General and SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEEEE
"...Is There Any Movement On The Price?"
"My Brand is Boring As Fuck. With a Capital F."
If You Want Someone to Say Yes to You, and Love You, and Give You Their Money, Read This
"I Wish I Could Travel the World Like You"
It’s About Being a Survivor, and a Warrior, and a God Damn Modern-Day Gladiator
If You Don't Feel Comfortable Saying, "Step Right Up and Try My Milkshake, Folks!" There Might Be a Problem With Your Product—Not Your Confidence
You Have to Be Willing to Endorse the Fuck Out of Yourself
Sales Strategy #5810: Charge for the Pleasure of Doing Business With You
I Wrote & Produced TV Commercials for Seinfeld, And Here's What I Learned
Prayer for a Modern Girl
50x Over Is Your New Fucking Motto
Love or Money? Which Should You Go For in Business, In Your Next Project, In Your Next Great Lust Affair With Life?
The Most Important Part of Any Sales Conversation: "Here's the Way We Do It Around Here."
Is It Worth Your Time...Or Not? This Is How You Decide.
You Aren't Mad When Your Favorite Brand Releases a New Product—And Neither Are Your Customers
When Disaster Strikes, Do Not Be the A-Hole With the Credit Card Machine
The Case For Charging Good Money (Featuring an $800 Example)
The Best Selling Never Feels Like Selling: It Feels Like a FAVOR.
The Other 50%: What Your Clients Really Want
Take What You Love, And Figure Out How to Sell It To Someone—And Boom, You've Got Your Dream Job
Straight Up: Every Single Asshole Fear You've Got Going On In Your Head Comes From Not Knowing
You Find Peace With Your Work Through Tension
Never, Ever Put It Off—Or Say You'll Get to It Tomorrow. Like, Ever. So Help You Vodka.
I Hate Monday: Edition #2
We Don't Sell Those
"What Should I Do With My Life?"
I Became an Entrepreneur Because My Life Stopped Being Fun
If You're Resenting Your Work, the Answer is Always Murder
If the Pressure Isn't Worth It, Say, "Sayonara Bish."
Turn Your Preferences Into Little Policies—And Your Stress Levels Will Thank the Shit Out of You
Looks Aren't Superficial When It Comes to Making Money
Charging $600 Per Customer and *Earning* $600 Per Customer Are Two Entirely Different Things
This is What I Pray for, More Than Anything: The Courage to Decline
There's a Difference Between What Something Appears to Cost You—And What Something Actually Does
Hey! Nobody Cares What You Do! (Depressing, Until You Realize It's POWER.)
Are You Money Poor, Time Poor, Or Worse—Both?
I Wrote This For The Ones Who Care What They Might Think
Seek Pleasure, And You Will Have Found Your Work
Do Something Brilliant With Your One Little Speck
[New!] UNF*CKWITHABLE GIRLFRIENDS
When the Internet Becomes a Raging Psycho Serial Killer—And Everybody's All, "Whatever, LOL."
Where the Divide Begins: A Vastly Different Belief System
Unf*ckwithable Boss
Success Isn't More Deserved When It's Hard . . . BRAH
How to Start a Blog (Without Wanting to Kill Yourself)
How to Start a Blog (Without Wanting to Kill Yourself) [PART II]
My Top 5 Makeup Tips for Working From Home—And NOT Looking Like a Total Soiled Sloth :)
Having Trouble Committing Yourself to That Project You Really, Really Wanna Do, But Can't Seem to Get Started?
"Oh Crap! What if I'm New At This + Don't Have Any Testimonials?!"
There's No Such Thing as The Committee of True & Actual Greatness™
When Following the Crowd is GOOD FOR YOU.
How Do You Survive? How Do You Make It Through the Shitstorm—With Grace?
Only the Ordinary Can Easily Define Themselves. You? You're Another Story.
Change Is Fucking Messy (Thank God)
Growth Requires Muscle Tears
Answering The Scary, Hairy, Thought-Provoking Question: What the **** Should I Do With My Life?
Own Your Edge
My Favorite Line for Handling Angry People With Dignity + Grace
There's a Modern Trick to Getting What You Want, These Days. Shhhh. Come Closer, I'll Tell You What It Is.
It Is a Tragedy, To Spend So Many Hours Working, and Have None of Them Matter to You.
How to Engineer an Effective Bribe—And Get the World to Do What You Want
The Hot Dog Theory of Money (And How to Ask For It With Ease)
"Getting On the Phone With Clients Makes Me Want to Projectile VOMIT"
Freedom From the Overwhelm: It's a Thing, and It's Possible. I Shit You Not.
Make Something That Matters
Creativity Doesn't Need an Ulterior Motive
An Airline Makes 50% of Its Revenue From 20% or Less of Its Seats. AND THAT'S REALLY SAYIN' SOMETHING.
You Aren't Obligated to Be the Same Person You Were Five Minutes Ago
What Do You Believe? Package THAT.
There's a Difference Between Being Proud of "The Work You Do" and Being Proud of Yourself
How Do You Make People Care About Your Work—Even When Your Work Is Lofty, Intangible, and Abstract as F***?
Perhaps This is What Entrepreneurship Has Given Me Most: It Has Taught Me How to Fight for Myself.
Working Yourself to DEATH: A Twisted Badge of Honor Reserved for The People Who Are Really Hurting
Sometimes "It Is What It Is" = Best Business Policy of All
Trust The Shit Out of Yourself, Alright? You ARE the Exception.
Sometimes, It's Easier to Lie to Yourself, Than Do the Work
Prices Are Little Facts, My Dear: A Love Note to Anyone Having Trouble Charging What They're Worth
Burnout Doesn't Come From Your Business
Pleasure Doesn't Need an Appointment
Let's Get One Thing Straight: There's Only One Way to Stand Out from the Sea of Sameness, and It's Free
The Noodle Test: Is Your Business Idea Any Good?
Self-Promotion Doesn't Have to Turn You Into a Self-Absorbed A-Hole
The Top 10 Commandments of Becoming an Unf*ckwithable Freelancer
When You Feel Like a Hot Mess Full of Walking Contradictions and WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT IS YOUR LIFE?
Businesses Are Like Books: The Best Ones Actually SAY Something
More Work Doesn't Mean More Money. It Means More Work.
Knowing How You Spend Your Time Is Just as Important As Knowing How You Spend Your Money
Writing Problems Are Idea Problems In Disguise
You Don't Have to Be an Asshole to Be an Authority
How to Land Your Dream Job—Without Any Prior Experience, Connections, And/Or Bribing The Boss With Your Boobs
Funerals Happen Every Day When You're Expanding
The Anti-Trump Bar: The Way You Stand Out is By Standing UP
The Way You Make a Million Dollars is by Earning One Dollar, A Million Times
Overgiving Is a Really Cute But Seriously Unhelpful Epidemic
How to Be the Most Productive Motherfauxer in the Room
Maybe We Need to Rewrite the Narrative Around "Hustle"—Because, Hello, It's Fucking Killing Us
Good Things Come to Those Who Wait for No One
When It's Hard for People to Pick, The First Thing They Do Is Ditch
The Way You Think About $1,000 Predicts How Easy (Or Hard) It'll Be to Make Your Next $100,000
Are You Sorry About Charging Money?
So You've Got a Great Idea But Have NO Idea Where to Start. (And It's Making You Angsty and Farty and Paralyzed With Fear.)
You've Only Got 12 Fucks to Give Every Day. How Do You Spend Them?
Your Decisions About Yourself Have Already Decided What Happens Next
A Tiger Doesn't Ask Permission of the Gazelles to Sprint
The World Isn't Your Mommy
You Know Who Wants a 4-Hour Work Week? The People Who Have No Great Loves, No Red Hot Hopes, No Mad-Wild-Hunger In Their Eyes.
Spending Money is Not a Sacrifice, But a Strategy
Having FUN Doesn't Make You an Unprofessional Schmuck
"Knock, Knock, Motherfucker," she said, batting her eyelashes.
Plan on Doing It Wrong First
Seek Pleasure, And You Will Have Found Your Work
I Wrote This For The Ones Who Care What They Might Think
Are You Money Poor, Time Poor, Or Worse—Both?
Hey! Nobody Cares What You Do! (Depressing, Until You Realize It's POWER.)
There's a Difference Between What Something Appears to Cost You—And What Something Actually Does
This is What I Pray for, More Than Anything: The Courage to Decline
Charging $600 Per Customer and *Earning* $600 Per Customer Are Two Entirely Different Things
Looks Aren't Superficial When It Comes to Making Money
Turn Your Preferences Into Little Policies—And Your Stress Levels Will Thank the Shit Out of You
If the Pressure Isn't Worth It, Say, "Sayonara Bish."
If You're Resenting Your Work, the Answer is Always Murder
I Became an Entrepreneur Because My Life Stopped Being Fun
"What Should I Do With My Life?"
We Don't Sell Those
I Hate Monday: Edition #2
Never, Ever Put It Off—Or Say You'll Get to It Tomorrow. Like, Ever. So Help You Vodka.
You Find Peace With Your Work Through Tension
Straight Up: Every Single Asshole Fear You've Got Going On In Your Head Comes From Not Knowing
Take What You Love, And Figure Out How to Sell It To Someone—And Boom, You've Got Your Dream Job
The Other 50%: What Your Clients Really Want
The Best Selling Never Feels Like Selling: It Feels Like a FAVOR.
The Case For Charging Good Money (Featuring an $800 Example)
When Disaster Strikes, Do Not Be the A-Hole With the Credit Card Machine
You Aren't Mad When Your Favorite Brand Releases a New Product—And Neither Are Your Customers
Is It Worth Your Time...Or Not? This Is How You Decide.
The Most Important Part of Any Sales Conversation: "Here's the Way We Do It Around Here."
Love or Money? Which Should You Go For in Business, In Your Next Project, In Your Next Great Lust Affair With Life?
50x Over Is Your New Fucking Motto
Lack of Sleep Turning You Into a Pissed Off 2-Year Old? I HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.
So This One Time I Thought I Had Breast Cancer—And The Doctor Was a Huge D*ck
Personal Sovereignty + Giving Yourself Options + Who Needs a Vodka?
HOLY BUTTERNUTS I MADE A VIDEO. (P.S. IT'S OUTRAGEOUS. WITH CAPS. ALL OF THEM. )
Self-Hatred, Low Self-Esteem & Firing Those Lying Pricks From Your Payroll
Your Opinion About Yourself Doesn't Matter
Wanna Be Successful Online? Stop Bullshitting. Tell Your TRUTH.
The DIRTY 30 COMMANDMENTS of Working for Yourself: How to Slay Like an Unf*ckwithable Boss
"Never Lose Your Sunny Disposition. It'll Be the Most Important Asset You'll Ever Have."
$199 vs $200: The Difference of a Dollar is Never Just a Dollar
If You're Nervous About Pulling the Trigger, Clap Your Handsssss!
You Don’t Have to Run Some Big, Cheesy Sale to Do Well
I Hate Monday: Edition #10
Women Don't Learn How to Be Strong & Confident & Brave in Home-Fucking-Ec.
If you're terrified you'll be judged online, then you need to slow down, have a vodka & read this immediately.
You cannot be a sane person all the time. But you *do* get to choose where you spend your sanity.
There are two options: Make your own rules, or make your own grave.
How to Be Interesting As Hell On Paper
I was at Pulse Orlando.
Is Your Life *Actually* a Good One? Can You Even Decide? What Does Good Even MEAN These Days?
When You Feel Worthy of Being Seen...It Shows
A Dead Simple Way to Write a Creative Bio (Without Crying) (Or Wall Punching) (Awkward, You Guys)
For a Long Time I Secretly Worried: What If I Was Screwing Everything Up?!
"Ding, Ding, Ding! You Can Have Fun Now!"
Poets & Killers Get Rich
We Desperately Need to Learn How to Be Mothers to Ourselves
What Can You Give to Yourself Right Now That Will Feel Good?
How to Pitch Yourself On Paper the HUMAN Way (Or, Your Resume: A Horror Story)
The Key to Fooling Everyone Into Thinking You're a Natural at Public Speaking (Bye Bye, Stiff & Stuttery!)
There's So Much Drama Around EVERYTHING.
Give Me Your Money
Create & Offer What YOU'D Want to Buy.
WANTED: Your Jerkiest, Most Unprofessional, Inappropriate Business Emails. (You Can Keep The Sender.)
Networking Event? Try This Creative Approach to Introducing Yourself.
Extortion, Manipulation, Fraud & Deceit: Breaking My Silence
Help! My Elevator Pitch is Falling (Seriously) Flat Chested.
My Pet Peeve About the Internet: No One Teaches Any Goddamn Substance
An Ode to the Internet's Worst Business Advice
Nice Brands Finish Last
Stop Jamming A Square Peg Into A Round Butthole
Headspace Is Like a Goddamn Unicorn
Read This if You're an Impatient, Demanding, Self-Critical Tart Who Gets Mad at Herself When Things, You Know, Actually Take TIME
On Getting Old, Having No Idea How to Make a Soufflé & Consciously Choosing to Do What You WANT.
Sometimes in Business, You Need to Do YOU.
Better to Be a Mouse With a Backbone, Than a Lion With No Spine: On Writing Voice
On Becoming Unfuckwithable
Are You Chucking Rotting Porkchops?
Sentences & Money | A business class for writers
The Top 10 Best Things About Working From Home, (Fluorescent Lighting Not Included)
Constantly Guilt Yourself Over Doing "The Responsible Thing?" Maybe You Shouldn't.
What if My Customers Aren't All the Same? How Do I Appeal to Multiple Targets? It's called Positioning (And for Once I'm Not Talking About the Kama Sutra)
"How do I raise my rates without making it awkward?"
Your Hatred is Wisdom
Do You Suck at Oral? A (Tongue-In-Cheek) Discussion on Why It's Hard to Ask for Money
When New Opportunities Show Up, Waving Their Ta Ta's
"I Don't Feel Confident in My Work."
I Hate Monday: Edition #1
Eventually You’re Going to Have to Choose Between Wonderful and Phenomenal
I Hate Monday: Edition #0
Beating Yourself Up Over It Not Going Well? Don't Get Mad, Get Curious
Please, Don't Get Hard (Even When Life Is)
On Not Allowing: A Message for When You're Feeling Whiny
Plan On Being Nervous, Brilliantly
"But How The $&%* Do I EXPLAIN What I'm Selling?"
Big Things Don't Happen in Big Ways
If You Don't Seem Capable...You Aren't
An HR Handbook for Dealing With Assholes
A Meditation on Shit Talkers
The Answer To: "Where Do You Get The TIME?!?!"
Please, I Beg You, Get a Niche. (No Matter Which Way You Pronounce That Irritating Word.)
The 140 Character Email: An Experiment in Sanity
The Real Trick to Brilliant Writing
When You're Suffering, Do It Anyway. And Let NOTHING Stop You.
Turns Out, You *Can't* Do it All—So How Do You Pick?
Starting a Sentence With "In My Opinion" is Bad for Business. Here's Why.
How to Market an Unsexy Product, Become #1 On TripAdvisor & Quadruple Your Profits
The Internet Is Some Trippy Shit (And Also Maybe The Key to Business AND World Peace?)
When You're Running Around Like a Frizzy-Haired, Obessive-Compulsive Psychopath
How to Sell a $250,000 Diamond Ring
Making Money is Not as Hard as Most People Make It
To Have a Routine or Not to Have a Routine: That is the (Worst, Most Annoying, Head-Pounding) Business Question
When You're Scrappy, You Don't Give a Sh*t
How to Make a Hard Decision (Without Convulsing, Crying or Going Crazy)
Entrepreneurs: When your life is fantastic and fucked up, all at once.
Moron Shoes With Holes In Them: What Makes Somebody Buy Something...Or Not?
SWEATY ARMPIT ALERT: 67% of the people that were about to give you money...don't.
DROP THE FLOWERS RIGHT THERE: Six Original Mother's Day Gifts for Moms Who Are Business Owners
What You Are Selling is Never as Important as THE REASON SOMEONE IS BUYING IT
Ass-Scratching Business Conundrum: Is It Worth It to Go Out of Your Way...Or Not?
The Internet Has Boundary Issues, and People Are Assholes. So What?
Remember When Life Was Easy? BECAUSE APPARENTLY I DON'T.
Overalls and Ball Games, Twelve Packs & Venison: Overcoming an Economic Depression with Dignity
Two Gorgeous Ways of Saying NO in Business...Without Throwing Cheeseburgers at People's Heads
One word might be costing you thousands of dollars. What is it?
This Bastard Was Getting Paid $10,000 a Month.
You're always going to have fifty million things to do—PLUS that asshole's bar mitzvah.
The Smell of Desperation
Starting a Business Isn't for Weak People, Shitty People, Irresponsible People, Undisciplined People, Stupid People, Forgetful People, Lazy People, Irrational People, Impatient People, or People Who Blame Everything on Obama.
How to Stop Hating Your Email (Before You Slice Your Own Wrists)
Cowardly Business Owners: An Epidemic?
A Story for the Downtrodden, Destitute, Distressed & Despaired
Hey, Business Owners! Please Note. You Cannot Outsource Your Bowel Movements.
You Can't Sell Tickets to The Titanic if You're Marketing it as a Rowboat
Clear vs Clever Copywriting is a Big, Fat, Bloated Myth (And a Scapegoat for Subpar Writers)
There Are Much More Interesting Things You Can Be Doing With Your Time Besides Answering Some Nitwit's Email
Business Lacking Direction? Start With the Money.
Repeat After Me: You Are Not Your Buyer
Feeling lazy? Unmotivated? BLEH? Open Up, Sweetheart. Here's Some Medicine.
21 Last Minute Gift Ideas (That Aren't a Freaking Yankee Candle) For Busy Business Owners WHO FORGOT TO SHOP.
Million Things To Do? Prioritize by ROI. (And Then Get a Life.)
Running a Holiday Sale? Memorize This by Heart.
The Top 20 Most Original Gift Ideas for That Fucking Writer You Know (No, Not a Moleskine)
How to Say No To Your Clients Without Being a Bitch
Creativity Zapped? Try This Madman Trick.
No, I Don’t Want To Do You Any Favors.
Your Attention Span Is Less Than That of a Bloody GOLDFISH (And So Is Your Customer's)
Hurling Macbooks, Clubbing Pet Hamsters & Other Sunday Pleasantries
23 Phrases Every Stressed Out, Strung Out, Well-Meaning (Yet Irritable) Business Owner Needs to Memorize TODAY.
So, People Suck at Talking to Each Other
You Can Always Make More Money, But You Can Never Make More Principle.
I Believe in Stomach Ulcers The Way Most People Believe in God
When You're Having Buckets of Sh*t Dumped On You Left & Right
If you're both killer & poet, YOU GET RICH.
Lewd Life Lessons from 2011 (Hey, That Rhymed.)
The Short, Slightly Sarcastic Answer to (At Least Eleven) Things You've Always Wanted to Know About Selling Yourself. Featuring: A Strong Opinion.
Just The Tip: Potty Train Your Inbox
INTOXICATE 2012: DAY THREE: On Selling Pineapples + Other Worthwhile Ventures
How to Get on the Phone With a Client and Deliver a Stutter-Free Pitch Like a Goddamn PRO.
If You're Not Dangerous, Get Out.
36 Signs You're an Internet Dick
Writing a Book? What if HOW You Tell the Story is More Important Than The Story Itself?
INTOXICATE 2012: DAY TWO: WHERE WE TALK ABOUT VAGINAS, DEATH + DUMPSTERS
How to Be the Most Confident Person At The Table
Are You Running a Business...Or Running Yourself Into the Ground?
Tweet When You're Dead
A Lot of People Don't Like Selling Because It Makes Them Feel Like Assholes
Anytime You Question Yourself, Promise Yourself Better Answers.
Aw, shucks. Life sucks sometimes, doesn’t it?
Adultery Saturdays: 25 New Words You Didn’t Know You’ve Been Missing–Until NOW
Dear Friends: I Work From Home. (And Yes, It's a Real Job.)
If A Tree Falls In A Forest, Does Anyone Actually Give A Single, Flying Fuck?
Adultery Saturdays: Earn Your Sleep
Plan on Being Successful
Adultery Saturdays: You're Not A Haphazard Has-Been
No, I Don't Want to Be in Your Tribe.
Adultery Saturdays: What Happens When You Take An Actual, Physical Leap
Creating One Hell of an Offer – Stage One of Product Development
What To Do When You Hire Them And...They Suck.
Explicit Permission To Finally Exhale
25 Sure-Fire Ways To NOT Get The Job
Doing the Hard Thing is Still Easier Than Living With a Cheap, Knockoff Version of Yourself
10 Reasons Business Partners Can Be a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea.
Adultery Saturdays: How To Get Out Of Your Rut–With STYLE (And Wine)
Rules Of This Website.
Adultery Saturdays: Ask For What You Want
New! Saturday ADULTERY Column: Because You Can’t Have It All.
Adultery Saturdays: The 10 (False) Commandments of Adulthood
Adultery Saturdays: The Top 10 Ways To Handle The Holidays
Adultery Saturdays: The 75 (Curious) Steps Of Writing A Blog Post
Is It Annoying to Buy From You?
Just The Tip: Gorgeous Websites Without a Designer
Adultery Saturdays: Annoying Things My Boss Says
Adultery Saturdays: You’re Definitely Not Ready For This Jelly, OR For Big Decisions
When Customer Service Equals “Blow Me”
LUST LIST: Must-Have Tools & Apps for Every Business Owner, Blogger & Anybody Doing Work Online
Just The Tip: Make Technology Your Bitch. Not the Other Way Around.
It's Never About What You're Selling. And Always About What They're Buying. There's a Difference.
Don’t Follow Others. Follow Through With Yourself.
Coming Out of the Closet: Sex Appeal & A Business Confession.
You Should Tell Success To Suck It–Here’s Why
Adultery Saturdays: What Lingerie Will Help You Learn About Life
Adultery Saturdays: The Only Cards You’ll Ever Need For Valentine’s Day
Are You Running Out Of Time?
Adultery Saturdays: A Whole New Take On What It Means To Be Callous
25 Words Words That Will Make You Seem Bland, Useless, Stale, Dime-A-Dozen, Washed Up, Uninteresting & Otherwise Not Worth Paying Attention To
Your Marketing Isn't Working Because It's an Arrogant, Selfish Blowhard.
When Elvis Played The Tuba, And Why You Should, Too
The Surefire Way to Get Paid Every Time (And Avoid Having to Call On The Mob)
The Devil Isn't In The Details. Your Next Dollar Is.
This Means WAR.
Adultery Saturdays: The Huge Obligation You’re Probably Putting Off
Just The Tip: This Tool For Selling Your Stuff Online WINS. (Breasts Down.)
How to Avoid Becoming a High Strung, Stressed-Out Jockstrap.
Is Your Package Big Enough?
Do You Have Chickenshititis?
The Scary Underbelly Of Faking It Until You're Making It
10 Phrases You Need to Eighty-Six From Client Emails...FOREVER.
Because You Don't Want to Show Up At The Pearly Gates With a Big Ass Moral Hangover.
Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept
Just The Tip: The Final Formula For Writing An Effective Apology
Job Searching: Extending Your Cupped Hands & Hoping Someone Takes Mercy.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others (And Playing Poker In Back Rooms)
Slow Down, Sign Your Name With Gorgeous Intention & FEEL.
The New F-Word (That Really Should Be Censored)
Just The Tip: 3 Things You Forgot About Email (And How to Make Sure YOURS Get Read)
Caution: Stop Masturbating With Your Money.
Just The Tip: Top 25 Coolest Online Tools (Oh, and Lug Nuts Ruin Lives.)
Your Customers Already Told You What To Say.
The 10 People You Meet While Working In A Coffee Shop
People Bullying Your Time? An Answer for the Overcommitted, Overcrazed & Exhausted.
Just The Tip: Need A Creative Name?
Adultery Saturdays: Make The More Interesting Choice
Difference Isn't About Being Different.
Adultery Saturdays: The Only Life Lesson You’ll Ever Need
I Brought 20 Hookers to Central America on Business.
Do Your Customers Want to You to Shut Up-Or Keep Talking?
THE BUSINESS BLACKLIST: If You're Doing Any of These 6 Things, STOP IMMEDIATELY.
Adultery Saturdays: The Final Answers To 20 Burning (WTF) Questions
Feel Guilty Anytime You're Not "Being Productive"?
You Are Not a 7-Eleven.
Four Things Never To Do When Asked, "What's Your Rate?"
What You Say Is More Important Than What You Sell
Your Genius Isn't Always Obvious
You are not anyone's only option. (...So now what?)
Hourly or Retainer OR....
Why Screaming Won't Get You Heard.
Just The Tip: Nobody Wants Your Free Goodies
STOP Giving Away Free Consults. I Beg You.
Don't Invent a Product Name. Engineer One.
Are You Peeing In The Sea of Sameness?
Are You (Accidentally) Using Words That Are Triggering People to STOP LISTENING?
Get Yourself Some Enemies
Are You Selling The Wrong Thing?
Do Your Customers Want to You to Shut Up-Or Keep Talking?
I Brought 20 Hookers to Central America on Business.
Adultery Saturdays: The Only Life Lesson You’ll Ever Need
Difference Isn't About Being Different.
Adultery Saturdays: Make The More Interesting Choice
Just The Tip: Need A Creative Name?
People Bullying Your Time? An Answer for the Overcommitted, Overcrazed & Exhausted.
The 10 People You Meet While Working In A Coffee Shop
Your Customers Already Told You What To Say.
Just The Tip: Top 25 Coolest Online Tools (Oh, and Lug Nuts Ruin Lives.)
Caution: Stop Masturbating With Your Money.
Just The Tip: 3 Things You Forgot About Email (And How to Make Sure YOURS Get Read)
The New F-Word (That Really Should Be Censored)
Slow Down, Sign Your Name With Gorgeous Intention & FEEL.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others (And Playing Poker In Back Rooms)
Job Searching: Extending Your Cupped Hands & Hoping Someone Takes Mercy.
Just The Tip: The Final Formula For Writing An Effective Apology
Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept
Because You Don't Want to Show Up At The Pearly Gates With a Big Ass Moral Hangover.
10 Phrases You Need to Eighty-Six From Client Emails...FOREVER.
The Scary Underbelly Of Faking It Until You're Making It
Do You Have Chickenshititis?
Is Your Package Big Enough?
How to Avoid Becoming a High Strung, Stressed-Out Jockstrap.
Just The Tip: This Tool For Selling Your Stuff Online WINS. (Breasts Down.)
Adultery Saturdays: The Huge Obligation You’re Probably Putting Off
This Means WAR.
The Devil Isn't In The Details. Your Next Dollar Is.
The Surefire Way to Get Paid Every Time (And Avoid Having to Call On The Mob)
When Elvis Played The Tuba, And Why You Should, Too
Your Marketing Isn't Working Because It's an Arrogant, Selfish Blowhard.
25 Words Words That Will Make You Seem Bland, Useless, Stale, Dime-A-Dozen, Washed Up, Uninteresting & Otherwise Not Worth Paying Attention To
Adultery Saturdays: A Whole New Take On What It Means To Be Callous
Are You Running Out Of Time?
Adultery Saturdays: The Only Cards You’ll Ever Need For Valentine’s Day
Adultery Saturdays: What Lingerie Will Help You Learn About Life
You Should Tell Success To Suck It–Here’s Why
Coming Out of the Closet: Sex Appeal & A Business Confession.
Don’t Follow Others. Follow Through With Yourself.
It's Never About What You're Selling. And Always About What They're Buying. There's a Difference.
Just The Tip: Make Technology Your Bitch. Not the Other Way Around.
LUST LIST: Must-Have Tools & Apps for Every Business Owner, Blogger & Anybody Doing Work Online
When Customer Service Equals “Blow Me”
Adultery Saturdays: You’re Definitely Not Ready For This Jelly, OR For Big Decisions
Adultery Saturdays: Annoying Things My Boss Says
Just The Tip: Gorgeous Websites Without a Designer
Is It Annoying to Buy From You?
Adultery Saturdays: The 75 (Curious) Steps Of Writing A Blog Post
Adultery Saturdays: The Top 10 Ways To Handle The Holidays
Adultery Saturdays: The 10 (False) Commandments of Adulthood
New! Saturday ADULTERY Column: Because You Can’t Have It All.
Adultery Saturdays: Ask For What You Want
Rules Of This Website.
Adultery Saturdays: How To Get Out Of Your Rut–With STYLE (And Wine)
10 Reasons Business Partners Can Be a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea.
Doing the Hard Thing is Still Easier Than Living With a Cheap, Knockoff Version of Yourself
25 Sure-Fire Ways To NOT Get The Job
Explicit Permission To Finally Exhale
What To Do When You Hire Them And...They Suck.
Creating One Hell of an Offer – Stage One of Product Development
Adultery Saturdays: What Happens When You Take An Actual, Physical Leap
No, I Don't Want to Be in Your Tribe.
Adultery Saturdays: You're Not A Haphazard Has-Been
Plan on Being Successful
Adultery Saturdays: Earn Your Sleep
If A Tree Falls In A Forest, Does Anyone Actually Give A Single, Flying Fuck?
Dear Friends: I Work From Home. (And Yes, It's a Real Job.)
Adultery Saturdays: 25 New Words You Didn’t Know You’ve Been Missing–Until NOW
Aw, shucks. Life sucks sometimes, doesn’t it?
Anytime You Question Yourself, Promise Yourself Better Answers.
A Lot of People Don't Like Selling Because It Makes Them Feel Like Assholes
Tweet When You're Dead
Are You Running a Business...Or Running Yourself Into the Ground?
How to Be the Most Confident Person At The Table
INTOXICATE 2012: DAY TWO: WHERE WE TALK ABOUT VAGINAS, DEATH + DUMPSTERS
Writing a Book? What if HOW You Tell the Story is More Important Than The Story Itself?
36 Signs You're an Internet Dick
If You're Not Dangerous, Get Out.
How to Get on the Phone With a Client and Deliver a Stutter-Free Pitch Like a Goddamn PRO.
INTOXICATE 2012: DAY THREE: On Selling Pineapples + Other Worthwhile Ventures
Just The Tip: Potty Train Your Inbox
The Short, Slightly Sarcastic Answer to (At Least Eleven) Things You've Always Wanted to Know About Selling Yourself. Featuring: A Strong Opinion.
Lewd Life Lessons from 2011 (Hey, That Rhymed.)
Adultery Saturdays: 42 New Year's Resolutions You Can Actually Keep
Are You a Dangerous Liability In Your Own Business?
21 Must-Memorize Responses for Clients Who Play Bad Kitty
Three Must-Have Client Scripts To Help You (Gracefully) Navigate The Holidays
Adultery Saturdays: You’re Losing At Your Life List–Here’s Why
Just The Tip: How To Say Hard Stuff Gracefully.
Want to Learn An Actual Process for Writing With Personality & Becoming More Memorable? Join Us!
A Note on Professional Integrity.
Just The Tip: Don’t Sell People.
Adultery Saturdays: It’s Not About Having The Biggest D*ck In The Room
You Know You Need a Change When...
Just The Tip: Get Your Message To Spread Like The Wildest Of Fires. Also, Halloween!
Just The Tip: Earning Opportunity with TMFproject
Adultery Saturdays: Why Death Threats Shouldn’t Threaten Your Swagger (And Surprise! We Say “Swagger.”)
Adultery Saturdays: The 5 Things You Don’t Have To Want–Now, Or Ever
How to Raise Your Rates (Without Pissing Anyone Off)
It’s My Birthday! And I Have a Surprise For You. (Hint: It’s Brandgastic.)
Business Is a Love Story. So Don't Be a Selfish Lover.
You Think The Stakes Are High Now? Please.
Adultery Saturdays: You're Probably The Hottest Mess-And That's Totally Okay
Just The Tip: Voice Comments for Client Projects
How to Blow Your Competitors Out of the Water---Even When There's an Entire Sea of 'Em
Adultery Saturdays: 10 Things Everyone On The Internet Is Afraid To Say
Just The Tip: Keep Your Ideas Organized The EASY Way
Your Logo On a BIC Pen Isn't Going to Do Jack. (And Other Marketing Tactics You Can Stop Wasting Your Time With.)
Turner Barr, Adecco & Legally Covering Your Ass
Adultery Saturdays: Words of "Wisdom" That You Need to Ignore
Want to Stand Out In a Sea of Competitors? Stand UP.
Adultery Saturdays: The Top 10 Signs You’re Getting Old. (Because You Needed a Self-Esteem Boost, Right?)
How to Save Money For People Who Are Notoriously Bad At Saving Money
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How to Handle Inconsiderate Jerk Offs
When Faith Has an Affair And Walks Out On You--And Doesn't Even Have the Decency to Look Back.
3 (Top Secret Ultra James Bond) Ways to Add More Personality To Your Writing
17 Pieces of (Unfiltered) Biz Advice You Should Have Gotten A Long Time Ago
It’s LIVE: Small Business Bodyguard Legal Resource For Online Businesses, Website Owners & Bloggers
Put Your Ass In The Chair And CREATE–Despite EVERYTHING
What Would You Do Differently If You Were Competing Against Yourself?
Clients MIA? Not Paying? Jerking You Around? Read This.
Speaking, Events & Upcoming Workshops
Lots of Inquiries But No Sales? Help Is Here.
Calling All Freelancers & Small Biz Owners: Do NOT Bend Over.
9 Things Everyone Needs to Know About Success, Reality & Being Human.
CAUTION: Do NOT Pitch Yourself Like This. Ever.
Worst Case Scenarios are a GIFT.
The Moments In Between - PAY ATTENTION.
23 (Surprising) Reasons To Work for Yourself
It’s Friday! 3 Things To Make Your Day EVEN BETTER.
23 Reasons Working For Yourself Will Drive You to Drink
10 Uncommon Truths Every Business Owner Should Know
Why Your Writing Sucks.
Warning: EVERYONE Is a Threat To Your Business. Even Those You Trust Most.
Why You Shouldn't Worry About Turning People Off. Ever.
On Getting the World to Pay Attention to You
Shit You Should Never Feel Guilty About, Ever. Plus At Least One Johnny Five Reference.
Are You Making Money or Losing It? Also: Porridge
Here's an Opportunity - TAKE IT
Don't Beg for Business. Command It.
Schmooze or Lose: Because It's Important for Business, AND It Rhymes
What NOT to Do When Making a Sales Video. (Unless You’re As Crazy as Me)
The Snooze Button Is For Suckers.
Reason #959 to Start a Business
5 Business Rules for Pushovers
How to Make People Cry (And How It'll Help You Get More Clients)
Feeling Alone? (Surprisingly NOT an Ad For an Escort.)
Success Is Where the Heart Is
Strike "Newsletter" From Your Vocabulary: What To Say (Instead) to Entice, Compel + Get People To Opt-In
The Secret to Creating the Elusive "Emotional Connection" In Writing
Frustrated You Can't Catch a Break? No One Giving You a Shot? Need Experience?
Success Doesn't Sit Around On Its Ass--So What Are You Doing?
How to Sell Anything With Words--Including a Used Ceiling Fan
25 Words That Will Make You Seem Bland, Useless, Stale, Dime-a-Dozen, Washed-Up and Otherwise Uninteresting, Unimportant and Not Worth Paying Attention To
7 Companies Doing Personality RIGHT.
How Not to Feel Like an Asshole (Two Loud-Mouthed Audio Interviews)
Paper In Your Coffee
Stuck On The First Paragraph? Three (Uncommon) Ways to Bust Out Your Best--Even At Your Worst.
The Numbers Don't Mean Jack.
How to Make a REAL Emotional Connection With Your Marketing: A Sample from South America
Why Your Clients Should Never Have to "Think About It"
Butt Paste--And How It'll Help You Market Yourself Better.
Creative Marketing + Consulting
Your Life in 6 Words.
How to Sell Anything In One Paragraph Or Less
20 Ways to Stand Out From The Crowd (Without Swearing or Having a Rhinocerous-Sized Marketing Budget)
Creating New Offerings--or Revising Your Old? Grab Wine. Listen Up.
Forget Your Manners.
Always Do. You'll Be Glad You Did.
I Got You Something! Happy Holidays, Sexpot. (Also: Worms, Vomiting and Fire Extinguishers).
Take Your Lazy Sentences And Piss Off. Politely.
Life Coaching AND Boob Jobs? What To Do When You Can't Pick.
Finding Your Inner F-Bomb: What To Do When You're Having a Hard Time Being You
The $2,000 Offer to LEAVE a Company
Marilyn Monroe Wouldn't Give a Damn.
Fortunately, My Business Is a Hoe. (Important Updates – Don’t Miss This One)
Copywriting Workshop – Now Available (Pom Poms Provided)
Storm Down The Door of Life With a Hatchet + Some GUMPTION.
Lust, Turkey Gizzards + A Ladylike Toast
Resent Your Clients?
Call Your Fucking Tribe. (Quickie Friday Piece of Ass)
Where's Your God Damn Pineapple?
What to Sell, How to Sell It, What to Call It, When to Launch It, And What to Price It. The Easy Way.
TMFBOMB: How to Be Taken Seriously Online in Exactly Four Minutes, 27 Seconds
TMFBOMB: Creating A Brand Experience. Sorta Like Why Chicks Wear Lingerie.
Liar, Liar Pants on Fire
Let’s Have a One Night Stand. You + Your Business + Me. My Place. Don’t Be Late.
Clients + Cash
2012 Costa Rica Beach + Biz Retreat: Registration Starts Wednesday!
Sexy Matters. Whether You Like It Or Not.
I Need Help. (Not That Kind of Help, Jerk.)
An Ode to Baller Status.
How to Be a Human.
How to Get People to Pay You More With Just ONE WORD.
Calling Bullshit: The More You Fear Something, The More You Should Do It. Who Came Up With This Garbage?
Why "Business As Usual" Is Usually Killing Your Business
Sell More Stuff: Your Words Need to Repre-Fucking-Sent.
Not Making As Much Money As You'd Like? Time to Fix That.
Let The Serious Folks Go Seriously Broke.
How to Cold Call Prospects Without Sounding Like a Tool
Alert Your Accountant: This Post Is About To Make You More Money.
What To Do When You Hate Your Life: An Interview I Gave: Featuring My Man Voice
Time Doesn't "Get Away From You." Your Dignity Does. BE SOMEBODY, DAMMIT.
Are You Going To Be Someone Who Does? Or Doesn't? (Warning: Contains Least Amount of Swear Words Ever Written On TMF)
Are They Telling You You're Crazy?
What To Do When Nobody Cares About You. (Tip: Do Not Punch The Mailman.)
How To Get People To Spend Way More Money Than They Planned. Tango References Included.
Don't Work Your Way Into Your Client's Heart; Shoplift That Shit.
How to Make The World Give a Shit About You
Be Selective With Your Energy. In Fact, Be Downright Arrogant.
Stay Foolish. Stay Wise. Have CONFIDENCE.
The Secret to Avoiding Pain In The Ass Clients
On Fucking Your Inbox, And Saying YES When You "Really Should Be Working."
Would We Have Known These Were The Best Moments of Our Lives?
A Tearful Birthday
The World's Most Unscholarly Summary of Quito, Ecuador, Ever. (Oh, and Photos.)
How to Get Your Message HEARD
Battle Cry of the Crazies: For Anyone Hustling for MORE
YOU F*cking Press Two! Or, 26 Reasons Humans Are Doomed.
On My Red Hot, Sinfully Sexy Affair.
Trailer Trash & Sex Appeal: The Trick to Selling MORE
Worried You'll Never Make It? This'll Shut You Up. (With Love)
Evidence I Shouldn't Be Allowed to Have a Blog (Also: Calling All Aspiring Copywriters + Wordsmith Sexpots)
Fuck Shit Balls I Didn't Finish Those Edits, Yet. And Other Stuff That Doesn't Matter. (In Memory of Enrique.)
The Dirtiest Piece of Advice I Have For You (On Biz, Copywriting + Living Out LOUD)
Houston, We Have a Problem: Nobody Cares About You.
TMFBOMB – Stop Giving Away Your Money
The ABC’s of Self Love: D is for Determination.
Homeless to Six Figures
Get FREE Access to Clients + Cash, or Win a VIP Trip to Meet Adrian Peterson at the Superbowl! Holla.
Excitement is a Big, Turquoise, Flashing Neon Sign. Don’t Ignore It.
An Open-Handed Slap On The Ass
The Secret to Getting More Clients + More Money (Without Reducing Your Rate)
How to Be Taken Seriously in Biz + Life. (Does Not Apply to Douchebags, The President, or Anyone With The Name Barbie.)
The Best Deal on Biz Courses You’ll Ever Get at TMFproject (+ Winners of the One Night Stand!)
Start here
Gearing Up for the Re-Launch + The Retreat. Ooo La la.
Features, Interviews + Playing Around the Web
Aaannddd We’re Live! And Drinking! Hi!
Need a Quick Laugh? Here You Go. (Open Me, Jerk!)
3 Million Dollar Biz Deals + Sex. Except There's No Sex.
Potty Mouth Ambirge Strikes Again: Reporting Live From Costa Rica, Hot Poker In Hand.
Final Day: INTOXICATE 2012: A Surprise Guest
Fuck Plan B. You're on the A Team.
How to Lose Your Dignity in 10 Minutes Flat.
How to Be Able to Travel Whenever You Want
Why Moderation is for Losers.
Pet Peeves, Dried Egg Yolk + The Difference Between Having Freedom and Having OPTIONS.
Pantsless On a Ferry. A Perfect Example of NOT Taking Life Seriously. At All.
Blow Off Work Today. That's An Order.
Attention Is The Motherfucking Currency. OWN IT.
To Success Laced With Cherry Liquor + Lace. Yours, My Sweet Darling.
Why Sucky People Get More Clients Than You
How Being Unapologetic Helps Me--And You--Win At Biz
TMFBOMB: Excuses Are For Your Fucking Competitors
Sit Down, Shut Up + Screw Jesus: What Would the Best Version of YOU Do?
Is This Simple Thing Preventing You From Getting More Clients?
Don't Stand Out - Stand the Fuck Up.
A Scenario You Should Pay Attention To
Sales Tip of The Year: Don't Masturbate.
I Want You. Now.
Opportunity: Get PAID to Quit Your Job, Sell Your Stuff + Move to Paradise (For real.)
How to Fuck Up a Sale in 27 Minutes Flat (But Still Score a Date)
The Day The Cash Register Became Obsolete (WTF?)
$100,222.37 (Yes, That Is the Title of This Post.) (Also: Fake Russian Accents Are Ridiculous.)
How to Sell More This Year, Featuring Pier One Imports + Hot Dogs. Yeah, Hot Dogs.
Lewd(ER) Life Lessons From 2011. To Be Read With a Fake Italian Accent.
Your Panties Are In a Bunch. And It's Preventing You From Making Money.
List Your Prices (THE RIGHT WAY) (Calling All Photographers.) (Hedgehogs Welcome, Too.)
Why You SHOULD Sweat the Small Stuff. (Free Puma Included.)
Pssssssssssssssssssst.
Definitive Guide to Jump-Starting Your Biz LAUNCHING + TMFproject 2.0 Commences. Andale, baby!
Key to Money-Makin' Bliss: Don't Just Sell Your Stuff. STRUT Your Stuff.
Seduce Me And I'm Yours. Your Customer, That Is.
LAUNCH: Clients + Cash and One Hell of a Party That You Can’t Miss
Doors Now Open – Clients + Cash!
The Gap Between Intention + Success. Your Mission: Ride 'Er Buck Wild
Male Prostitutes and Product Launches. Sort of Related. But Not Really.
The Stupidest Marketing Advice EVER--Exposed Like a Naked Baby
I don't have a good title for this shit, but it'll help you get clients. Rah. Rah.
It's Okay If You Suck At This. Otherwise Called, "Permission to Suck." Otherwise Called, "Longest Blog Post Title Ever Because Obnoxiously Long Blog Post Titles Are Funny."
If You're Not Doing This, You're Leaving Money On The Table
Top 9 Ways to Deal With Business Overwhelm (So You Can Avoid Thoughts of Mass Murder)
Cut The Fat.
Say No to Mullets, Drink More Vodka, Sing Loudly + Run The Damn Show
How I Lost $33,000 and Became a Money Asshole. Yes, Boobs Are Involved.
How Dating Chilean Men Can Help You Succeed In Business. Kind of. And Why Bloody Noses Are Not Okay, Which Is Not Related to The Story At All, But You Should Read About It, Anyway.
Entrepreneurs + Marriage: Possible? Or Possibly Hopeless?
Ditch The Blankie, Grab A Set of Balls + Get Your Life Back on Track
Big Balls, Going to Hell + Other Serious Business Matters You Can’t Afford to Not Read
How to Get Clear on Your Target Market--And Never Have to Hunt for Your Next Gig Again
How The Fine Art of Turkey Calling Can Score You More Clients + Customers
Get More Clients + Customers: The One Step You Absolutely, Under No Circumstance, Aren't Allowed to Skip. Rahr.
How to Get More Clients and Stop Sucking at Business. And at Baseball. Maybe.
The One They Don't Tell You About Working Online. Bad Words Included. Shh.
When You Feel Like You Could Collapse + A Personal Favor
Paris, Wankers + Marketing for Local Business Owners
Pay What You Can Sale – GUTS! Birthday Lovin’ Over Hurrrrr.
JUMP START VIDEO ARCHIVE
A Meditation on Being a Jackass
Take Off Your Skirt + Do the Work, Sissy. Or It’ll Eat You Alive. (VIDEO)
Being Fat, Getting Robbed + Some Shit You Won't Want to Miss
How to Hit Rock Bottom + Come Back a Business Owner (Without Breaking a Nail. Or Going Insane. Or Resorting to Prostitution. Mostly.)
How to Get More Clients Than You Can Handle + Get the Contract Every Time (Without Resorting to Scumbaginism.)
Why Seeking A Meaningful Career Is Bad Advice
Why Lifestyle Design Is Like Working at McDonald’s – And Why It’s a Good Thing
When Being Professional Is Harmful
Wanna Make $10,137.62 This Month? Let’s Do It
The Flawed Cycle of Success That Could Be Causing You To Fail
Tales of a Terrified Lifestyle Designer
Perhaps The Preamble Should Read: We, The Robots. (Prove That You Aren’t, And Win $100)
One Big, Fat Mistake To Avoid On Your Path To Awesomeness
On Authority: The Blogosphere/Real World Divide
Leaping, Diving & Plunging Head First Into Humanity
Give Me Liberty, Or Give Me Death – Fate Versus Choices
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Tricia Karp
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Nina Yau
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Matt Koenig
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Kelly Gurnett (AKA Cordelia)
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Heather Mamatey
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Cara Stein
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Avril David
Big, Steaming Piles of Cash + Joy (And How to Get Both) : VIDEO with Catherine Caine
33 MORE Tell-Tale Signs You’re a Closet Lifestyle Designer – PART II
24 HOURS ONLY – Pimp Your Website for Less Than You Spent On Your Mom On Her Birthday
You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts: TABLE OF CONTENTS
Want to Make $97,000 This Year As a Blogger + Digital Entrepreneur? Let’s Do It, Baby. No, Not THAT.
Affiliates
To Create The Life You Want, Passion Is Not Enough
THE NO-DRINKING CHALLENGE, or Why I’m Going To Be Bitter This Month
Shop
Services for Entrepreneurs
Forleo + Roeder Sexxed Up Rendition – Move Bitch
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Jeffrey Luke
Being Logical vs Being Rational–And Why The Difference Matters
25 Ways the F-word Can Help Your Business THRIVE
A Non-Cheesy Approach to Trusting Yourself More + Sucking Less
If You Had One Shot...Would You Capture It, Or Let It Slip?
Bullshit & The All Mighty Dollar
Part II: The X-Rated Guide to Doing Everything Wrong, and Still Getting It Right
The X-Rated Guide to Developing a Marketing Plan. Without Losing Your Mind. Or Your Shirt. Cuz That'd Be Awkward.
The Definitive, Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Off Your Butt, Finding Some Focus, And Jump-Starting Your Biz...So You Can Stop Feeling Like an Procrastinating Asshole (And Start Making Some Cashola)
Fear, Not - Fear, Exposed Will Be Back. (Says the Series In Its Best Arnold Impersonation)
Blow Dryers, Mobile Homes + When to Shut Your Fucking Macbook, Already
The Secret to Client Attraction - Grey Goose Vodka, Baby.
Dirty Confessions of an Entrepreneur: What I Never Told You
Making Money As an Act of Philanthrophy
If Ya Business Isn’t Personal, Ya Don’t Have a Business. Capiche? (VIDEO)
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Rich DeMatteo
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Caroline McGraw
Does This eBook Make Me Look Fat? Or, Why People Aren’t Buying Your Shit. (I Almost Wrote “Stuff.” Aren`t You Glad I Didn`t?)
Entrepreneurs: Show Me Your (Black Lace) Thong & Tell Your Story Like You Mean It
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Jenny Foss, Part Deux
Entrepreneurs: Please Don't Puke On Me. Love, Ashley.
Modern Day Slavery: Worth Pondering
How I Plan on Making $97,000 While Traveling Latin America. Bitches.
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Amanda Farough
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Elisa Doucette
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Kyle Hepp
This One Time, I Fell In Love With an Illegal Immigrant. Yes, That Actually Happened.
Argentina + An 11 Year Old Boy + Greatest Business Asset of All
Sometimes, Money DOES Equal Happiness. Sometimes, Livin' On a Prayer Gets OLD.
Fear Is Like Sex: Orgasmic and Reproductive. I Should Know. I Have Children.
Trust, Humanity & A Dutch Pilot. Otherwise Known As The Important Things In Life.
What Makes *You* So Great, Anyway? (VIDEO)
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Sean Platt
The Art of Business Rebellion
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Monica O’Brien
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Tammy Strobel
The 11 Word Equation for Surefire Business Success
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Steve Thomas
The Red Hot Truth About Sex, Selling & Success (That Will Make or Break You In 2011)
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Catherine Caine
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Sean Platt
What Makes *You* So Great, Anyway? (VIDEO)
Trust, Humanity & A Dutch Pilot. Otherwise Known As The Important Things In Life.
Fear Is Like Sex: Orgasmic and Reproductive. I Should Know. I Have Children.
Sometimes, Money DOES Equal Happiness. Sometimes, Livin' On a Prayer Gets OLD.
Argentina + An 11 Year Old Boy + Greatest Business Asset of All
This One Time, I Fell In Love With an Illegal Immigrant. Yes, That Actually Happened.
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Kyle Hepp
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Elisa Doucette
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Amanda Farough
How I Plan on Making $97,000 While Traveling Latin America. Bitches.
Modern Day Slavery: Worth Pondering
Entrepreneurs: Please Don't Puke On Me. Love, Ashley.
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Jenny Foss, Part Deux
Entrepreneurs: Show Me Your (Black Lace) Thong & Tell Your Story Like You Mean It
Does This eBook Make Me Look Fat? Or, Why People Aren’t Buying Your Shit. (I Almost Wrote “Stuff.” Aren`t You Glad I Didn`t?)
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Caroline McGraw
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Rich DeMatteo
If Ya Business Isn’t Personal, Ya Don’t Have a Business. Capiche? (VIDEO)
Making Money As an Act of Philanthrophy
Dirty Confessions of an Entrepreneur: What I Never Told You
The Secret to Client Attraction - Grey Goose Vodka, Baby.
Blow Dryers, Mobile Homes + When to Shut Your Fucking Macbook, Already
Fear, Not - Fear, Exposed Will Be Back. (Says the Series In Its Best Arnold Impersonation)
The Definitive, Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Off Your Butt, Finding Some Focus, And Jump-Starting Your Biz...So You Can Stop Feeling Like an Procrastinating Asshole (And Start Making Some Cashola)
The X-Rated Guide to Developing a Marketing Plan. Without Losing Your Mind. Or Your Shirt. Cuz That'd Be Awkward.
Part II: The X-Rated Guide to Doing Everything Wrong, and Still Getting It Right
Bullshit & The All Mighty Dollar
If You Had One Shot...Would You Capture It, Or Let It Slip?
A Non-Cheesy Approach to Trusting Yourself More + Sucking Less
25 Ways the F-word Can Help Your Business THRIVE
Being Logical vs Being Rational–And Why The Difference Matters
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Jeffrey Luke
Forleo + Roeder Sexxed Up Rendition – Move Bitch
Services for Entrepreneurs
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THE NO-DRINKING CHALLENGE, or Why I’m Going To Be Bitter This Month
To Create The Life You Want, Passion Is Not Enough
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Want to Make $97,000 This Year As a Blogger + Digital Entrepreneur? Let’s Do It, Baby. No, Not THAT.
You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts: TABLE OF CONTENTS
24 HOURS ONLY – Pimp Your Website for Less Than You Spent On Your Mom On Her Birthday
33 MORE Tell-Tale Signs You’re a Closet Lifestyle Designer – PART II
Big, Steaming Piles of Cash + Joy (And How to Get Both) : VIDEO with Catherine Caine
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Avril David
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Cara Stein
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Heather Mamatey
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Kelly Gurnett (AKA Cordelia)
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Matt Koenig
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Nina Yau
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Tricia Karp
Give Me Liberty, Or Give Me Death – Fate Versus Choices
Leaping, Diving & Plunging Head First Into Humanity
On Authority: The Blogosphere/Real World Divide
One Big, Fat Mistake To Avoid On Your Path To Awesomeness
Perhaps The Preamble Should Read: We, The Robots. (Prove That You Aren’t, And Win $100)
Tales of a Terrified Lifestyle Designer
The Flawed Cycle of Success That Could Be Causing You To Fail
Wanna Make $10,137.62 This Month? Let’s Do It
When Being Professional Is Harmful
Why Lifestyle Design Is Like Working at McDonald’s – And Why It’s a Good Thing
Why Seeking A Meaningful Career Is Bad Advice
How to Get More Clients Than You Can Handle + Get the Contract Every Time (Without Resorting to Scumbaginism.)
How to Hit Rock Bottom + Come Back a Business Owner (Without Breaking a Nail. Or Going Insane. Or Resorting to Prostitution. Mostly.)
Being Fat, Getting Robbed + Some Shit You Won't Want to Miss
Take Off Your Skirt + Do the Work, Sissy. Or It’ll Eat You Alive. (VIDEO)
A Meditation on Being a Jackass
JUMP START VIDEO ARCHIVE
Pay What You Can Sale – GUTS! Birthday Lovin’ Over Hurrrrr.
Paris, Wankers + Marketing for Local Business Owners
When You Feel Like You Could Collapse + A Personal Favor
The One They Don't Tell You About Working Online. Bad Words Included. Shh.
How to Get More Clients and Stop Sucking at Business. And at Baseball. Maybe.
Get More Clients + Customers: The One Step You Absolutely, Under No Circumstance, Aren't Allowed to Skip. Rahr.
How The Fine Art of Turkey Calling Can Score You More Clients + Customers
How to Get Clear on Your Target Market--And Never Have to Hunt for Your Next Gig Again
Big Balls, Going to Hell + Other Serious Business Matters You Can’t Afford to Not Read
Ditch The Blankie, Grab A Set of Balls + Get Your Life Back on Track
Entrepreneurs + Marriage: Possible? Or Possibly Hopeless?
How Dating Chilean Men Can Help You Succeed In Business. Kind of. And Why Bloody Noses Are Not Okay, Which Is Not Related to The Story At All, But You Should Read About It, Anyway.
How I Lost $33,000 and Became a Money Asshole. Yes, Boobs Are Involved.
Say No to Mullets, Drink More Vodka, Sing Loudly + Run The Damn Show
Cut The Fat.
Top 9 Ways to Deal With Business Overwhelm (So You Can Avoid Thoughts of Mass Murder)
If You're Not Doing This, You're Leaving Money On The Table
It's Okay If You Suck At This. Otherwise Called, "Permission to Suck." Otherwise Called, "Longest Blog Post Title Ever Because Obnoxiously Long Blog Post Titles Are Funny."
I don't have a good title for this shit, but it'll help you get clients. Rah. Rah.
The Stupidest Marketing Advice EVER--Exposed Like a Naked Baby
Male Prostitutes and Product Launches. Sort of Related. But Not Really.
The Gap Between Intention + Success. Your Mission: Ride 'Er Buck Wild
Doors Now Open – Clients + Cash!
LAUNCH: Clients + Cash and One Hell of a Party That You Can’t Miss
Seduce Me And I'm Yours. Your Customer, That Is.
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Illana Burk
Resolutions Are For Chumps. I Choose Revolution.
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Susan Finch
Do What You Love (And Get Paid for It): The Missing Link
Top 20 Reasons Why Travelers Have More Fun During the Holidays
Your Art is Not Frivolous—It's Money Begging to Be Made
You Don’t Need a Job, You Need Guts – NOW AVAILABLE!
Are you in?
Fear, Exposed – Featuring A Girl I Know. Me.
The Greatest Human Tragedy of All: Us, Right Now
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Danny Mannina
The 67 Emotions of Unconventional Success
Why I’d Rather Be a Mexican Immigrant Than a Corporate CEO
VIDEO-Introducing TMFproject’s OPERATION: GET EXCITED
Don’t Make Me Say Staycation
Become a Corporate Drone in 30 Days or Less: Step-By-Step Instructions on How to Stop Thinking for Yourself, Kiss Ass Like a Pro & Wear Black Like a Champ
Still Waiting for that Promotion? Learn How to Put Your Career & Life Back Into Your Own Hands, Once & For All
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Jenny Foss
The Woman Whose Ass We All Should Be Kissing
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Claudia Peralta
You (Still) Don't Need a Job.
Meaningless Sex & Lifestyle Design: Sorry, Cutie, Last Night Didn’t Really Matter
Lifestyle Design: The New Arch Enemy of Dry Cleaners Everywhere (And Possibly Your Mom, Too)
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Polly Davies
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Amy Bowman
25 Ways to Become An American Overnight (Without a Visa)
You Don't Need a Job - You Need Guts
A Beautiful Mess: A Personal Manifesto of The Human Experience
There's a Problem With Settling for Less Than You Want: You Weren't Built for That
A Conversation With An Immigrant on U.S. Life
Does Risk Really Equal Reward? Only If You Redefine "Risk"
Defiance or Defeat? You Pick.
Beating, Stomping and Otherwise Assassinating The Voice In Your Head That Says "You Can't." Violently.
Slugs, Angel Hair Pasta & Vespas, Or, The One Thing That DOES Define You In This Life
How to Deal When the World Collapses Right On Your Face
On NOT "Following Your Dreams"
Why Stereotypes Piss Me Off (And How They're Ruining Your Life)
The Real Value of Travel (Come Sneak Away to the Beaches of Costa Rica, If You Dare)
Is It Your Own Fault?
When Being in Control is a Disservice
Do You Have The Guts to Be Creative?
Why Rule Breakers Run the World
Life Isn't As Serious As We Make It Out To Be
How to Start a Revolution (Or 3 Ways to Change the World)
Introducing the World's Newest Form of Religion
The Surefire Way to Save Yourself from Mediocrity (That You Already Know, But Don't Do)
Why We're All A Little Crazy: Uncertainty, Flower Petals, Shimmery Gold Dresses & A Personal Story
The Lost Art of Quitting
Get Your Own Picket Fence (Or Don't) : A Note on Relationships
2 Minute Guide to Reclaiming Your Life
Shattering the Current Model of Reality
Top 25 Signs You Need to Make a Change, Gain Self-Respect and/or Say No To Busch Light
White Men Can't Jump, But They've Got Other Tricks Up Their Sleeves: The (Unearned) Privilege of Being White
Why Circles Are Better Than Lines
U.S. Concept of Time & Why It's Preventing You From Finding Your Passions
Dream Zappers Part II: Why They Zap, Squash & Belittle Your Aspirations
Hula Hoop Contest 2010!
The Flip Side of Unconventional
What Life Gets To Keep In Return: On Making Big Decisions
Live Alive, Not Just a Life: Guidelines for Rebelling Against "Reality"
How Societal Ideals Conflict With Societal Goals
All Wants Are Not Created Equal
Surprise Yacht Party, And You're Invited. (Bring Your Dancing Shoes)
Your Language Is Holding You Hostage (And Why I'll Be Flying Obama's Private Jet As A Result)
Education & Wage Slavery: Hand In Hand?
Red High Heels, Slaughtered Pigs & Why Being Unsure Is A Good Thing
Tired of Having A Neverending To-Do List? Use It To Your Advantage
Is Lifestyle Design A Manifestation of Perfectionism In Disguise? A Self-Reflection
You're Not Drunk, But Your Vision Is Still Blurred - One Reason Why Religion, Marriage & Even Education Sucks
Fear, Exposed – Featuring Jenna Tros
If You're Wrinkly, It Better Have Been Worth It.
The One Thing That Can (And Will) Mess Up Your Life...If You Let It
Rebellion is Sexy: One Really Big Reason Why You Should Do It Now
The Smart Ass Guide to Dealing With Dream Zappers (Guest Post @ Free Pursuits)
Dealt a bad hand in life? Learn How to Snub Your Circumstances & End Up With a Royal Flush
33 Tell-Tale Signs You're a Closet Lifestyle Designer