Ask Ash: 'I Want to Touch the Sky but Everyone Keeps Telling Me I Am Being Stupid'

Dear Ash,

Hello from the midwest, where the majestic scent of cow shit is currently seeping into my nasal passage. But don’t worry, I’m not complaining: people from the midwest never complain. We are also reluctant to do a host of other things, including confrontation, any type of interaction that isn’t characterized by passive aggressiveness, and saying goodbye without it being awkward. Have you ever heard of the Midwestern Goodbye? IT IS BRUTAL. We’re talking fifteen rounds of polite ‘I’d better be going now’ before someone will finally leave your house at 11PM, right before you get arthritis.

Another thing we seem to be bad at? Taking risks when it comes to our careers. That’s the real reason I’m writing today. I have an idea for a business, but everyone around me is, shall I say, less than enthusiastic. My mother thinks I’d be a fool for leaving my stable, dependable job as a nurse. (‘You don’t know how good you got it.’) My aunt shares her opinion and thinks I shouldn’t do anything ‘rash.’ My friends joke around and make comments about what ‘crazy’ idea I’ll come up with next. Everyone seems to be on ‘Team Don’t Rock the Boat.'

I look around and wonder: is something wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy? But the truth is, I’m terrified of turning into a lukewarm old lady with pleated pants and trouble hearing. I look at all of the people I work with at the hospital, many of which are my senior, and they’re just so empty. They’re resigned. They’re robotic. They’re spiritless. They’re worn down from thirty-some years doing the daily grind. The same exact routine every day. The same people, and the same pettiness, and the same persnickety opinions. Everything here feels so small.

Last year, in an effort to figure out what I was actually passionate about, I picked up a camera and started photographing everything I saw. Ducks, ponds, skies, fields, buildings, people, and…flowers. And, for the first time, I actually saw what kind of incredible beauty was around me. Flowers, in particular, became my muse. I started photographing every flower I saw. And that’s when I discovered the world of garden photography.

I love flower & garden photography! Who knew that was a thing?!

I started following some of the best flower photographers in the world, and their work just AMAZES ME. Some of them are fine art floral photographers (like Jamie Beck, omg), some of them photograph personal estates and gardens for magazines (like Jason Ingram, swoon!), some of them work for commercial companies and corporate advertising campaigns (like Julie Skelton, ggaaaAAAahhhhHHHHHhhhh), some of them sell their own prints and make courses (like Jayne Margaret), and there’s even an entire publication dedicated to flowers. HOW FUN & MAGICAL & INCREDIBLE THIS ALL IS.

Bottom line: I can think of nothing more I’d rather do in my second act. Who doesn’t want to photograph gorgeous flowers for a living? There’s just one problem: everything. I don’t have any experience, I don’t have any contacts, I don’t have a portfolio to show to anyone, I don’t know even know if I’m any good, I don’t know how to get clients, and I’m worried there’s not a market for this where I live, out here in the midwest. I’m suffering from a massive case of imposter syndrome, and a fledgling sense of self-confidence.

What if everyone’s right? What if I’m just being a foolish naive dreamer who should just go back to the nurse’s station, suck it up, and be an adult?

Signed,

I Want to Touch the Sky But Everyone Keeps Telling Me I’m Being Stupid

Dear Sky Toucher (does that sound pervy???),

WE ARE LONG-LOST SISTERS. I was just saying how I obsessively follow garden photographers in the UK, because the UK has this whole garden culture, and it’s one of my favorite things about the UK, and also WHY AREN’T WE LIVING THERE??? What are we doing? Are we drunk? Let’s all just move to the English countryside and take photographs of flowers and then eat some blueberry scones and live happily ever after. (With Hugh Grant as our neighbor and really expensive candles that obviously we can all afford.)

Which brings me to my first point: I am so fucking proud of you. I am so fucking proud of you for taking yourself seriously, for taking your passions seriously, and for taking your life seriously. How many of us just…lay idle in silent misery? For years, for decades, for an entire lifetime, all because it’s hard to figure out what else to do. It’s hard to make a change when there’s so many unknowns, but you are putting in the work to know. The very fact that you went out, followed your instincts, and just picked up a camera in the first place is sensational. That’s the critical 1% work. Your pleasure was a clue, and you listened. There is so much wisdom in your pleasure. Your pleasure is a treasure map of your potential. And yet, most of us spend so much of our lives toiling away, feeling guilty for any time spent in leisure. We think of leisure as being self-indulgent and childish; something that’s a luxury, and probably for other people, who have somehow “earned” it. But, here’s the truth about leisure: it is necessary ingredient for happiness. When you are experiencing joy, you are at leisure. You are relaxed. You are open. You are calm. You are at ease. You are free.

And that is well-being.

How could a person who is all of those things—relaxed, open, calm, at ease, and free to experiment with their life—be unwell? This, to me, is the real goal of our time here on earth: to be as whole and full and as pleased as possible. What else in life is there?

To which I say: the more something brings you pleasure, the more seriously it must be taken. We tend to do the opposite, withholding pleasure until we ‘deserve’ it. Until it’s ‘justified.’ Until we’ve done enough miserable, cheerless crap, that we can finally ‘be bad’ and ‘sneak in some time’ to ‘play.’

This is an outdated operating system. In the past, work was never supposed to be fun. And play was something you earned. And sure, that’s fine if you’re a balding middle-aged man living in the 1950s. But today, in the modern economy, we can now do something revolutionary: we can make money from play. From pleasure. From the things we enjoy. The internet changed everything, forever—except most people have had their heads shoved so firmly up corporate’s arse, they haven’t been able to realize it yet.

HERE IS HOW THIS WORKS:

In the past, there were employers and there were employees. And, unless you were Daddy Warbucks, you most likely fell into the latter category. You ‘got chosen’ by an employer, and you were supposed to be grateful. Sound familiar? Sound like your mom and your aunt? That’s where this kind of thinking comes from; past generations grew up during a time when you were lucky to have a job. Because jobs didn’t just come out of thin air; if you had one, you should count your blessings.

It was very hard to create your own job, back then.

The internet, however, changed reality for humans on earth FOREVER. The internet let us explore. The internet let us learn. The internet gave us access to knowledge, and experiences, and people, and places. Before, if you wanted to meet someone who lived in Norway, you had to go to Norway. (Not that I’d mind.) Now, however, you can turn on TikTok and see people in Norway in real time, living their real lives, sharing their real interests and passions and ideas.

This is actually wild if you think about it. We stopped being talked at by corporations, and advertisers, and the people in power….and started doing the talking.

This is a giant, critical shift in human history & what it means for the way we work.

1. We use the internet to explore
2. Thus, we need people out there, talking back to us, so they can share their ideas and tell us what they know

This is how the internet works, right?

Which means something very, very important for you:

Your passions are no longer just passions, but career opportunities.

• If you like toads, you can talk about toads
• If you like top hats, you can talk about top hats
• If you like tiny little miniature houses, you can talk about tiny little miniature houses
• And, if you like flowers, and gardens, and grass, and plants?????? YOU CAN TALK ABOUT FLOWERS AND GARDENS AND GRASS AND PLANTS…and there will always be someone out there, in Norway, in Japan, in Australia, in California…who is searching for YOU.

Which is all to bring me to this: there is no need to be worried that there’s no market for your flower photography business where you live, because creative careers are no longer limited to local markets.

Here’s what I mean.

Old Economy

I want to be a flower & garden photographer, so I need clients who will pay me money to take photos, and they need to be local, because I am local

New Economy

I want to be a flower & garden photographer, so what I’m going to do create a body of work around incredible flower content (an IG account can totally serve as my portfolio), and I’m going to start a special series showcasing the real gardens of farmers, and then I’m going to sell my prints, and license them out as patterns, and then I’m going to offer flower photography workshops online, and then I’m going to see if I can get my work featured in magazines, and then I’m going to also pitch the American Farm Bureau a special installation for their offices, and then maybe I’ll start a campaign photographing the gardens of hotels, and pitch my services to the most beautiful hotels in the world with gardens, and then perhaps I can pitch some sponsorships with garden brands I love, and then of course I’ll accept commissions from clients who come to me, wanting me to photograph their gardens, because by then I’ll have a snazzy reputation, because doing work I am passionate about is the best way to create a reputation, and thus, a blossoming creative career. No pun intended!

The first version is a very limited understanding of how money is earned.

The second, however, is much more aligned with the current economy and how we can contribute value in exchange for compensation.

The thing is, most people just don’t really know these are even options. BUT THERE ARE OPTIONS! So many options!

Because why?

Because people are searching for it on the internet. 👏

They want a beautiful, huge, striking mixed media flower print for their stairwell.

They want to get inspired for ideas for their garden.

They want to cut flowers and arrange them gorgeously in their kitchen.

They want to enjoy a hobby photographing flowers, and need to take your online course.

There are just so many ways you can take whatever you love, and turn it into money—and do so entirely online, from anywhere in the world.

^^^TRUTH.

This is why, when we talk about passions, I try to encourage folks to stop policing their passions and whether or not they can make enough money with a thing, because there are plenty of ways you can make money in the modern economy. Worry less about money, and more about what you actually think is SENSATIONAL. Do you have anything you think is sensational? In this big, vast world, full of all sorts of different people and places and arts and crafts and ideas and hobbies, what thrills you? What brings you so much delight, you simply cannot wait another moment?

For you, Sky Toucher, it sounds like you have found just the thing. And, that is why I shall gently suggest that this time around, you should pay no mind to anyone else’s opinion on your life. For, it IS your life. And you are the one who must live it every day. Tomorrow, you must live with the decisions you make today. And so, which version of tomorrow would you prefer? The one where you’re walking down the yellow, dimly lit hospital hallway telling Sherri from accounting that you forgot to hand in your timecard? Or the one where you’re being called by Oprah to feature one of your flower images on the front cover of May?

Everything is possible. You are possible. This is possible.

To hell with living a safe, tedious, obvious life. I want you to chase the biggest, brightest thing you can imagine. You will figure out the money. First, however, you’ve got to commit. Commit to the dream. Say yes to the dream. OWN THE DREAM.

Say out loud: this is my fucking dream, and I am going to be fucking fabulous.

You’ll instantly feel more confident, just making a decision. A decision that is based on well-being rather than fear.

And then, every day, you are going to make the decision to show up again. And show up again. And show up again. And show up to photograph the most beautiful flowers you can find. And take it ALL as seriously as the lawyer does law school.

That is how you get your craft taken seriously in this world: by taking your craft seriously yourself.

You don’t need credentials. You don’t need a background. You don’t need contacts. All you need to do is start. Commit to doing this, and trying it out for a year, and seeing what kind of brilliance you can bring into this world with your enthusiasm, and excitement, and fresh ideas. Nursing will always be there later. That job isn’t going away. You can always get it back. But I think you’ll find that, once you commit? And once you say YES to your passion? A wave of relief will hit you so hard, and a newfound energy is going to flow through your veins, and you’re going to be in awe of the world again, and by this time next year? Going back to the hospital will be the last thing you do.

Every day that you show up for yourself & your dreams & your ideas & your excitement, your confidence will grow.

It’s not that you aren’t confident, it’s just that you haven’t started doing yet.

Doing is how we get confidence. Day by day, we do. And we grow. And we learn. And we become.

And then you shall be at peace with your heart again. You will experience joy. You will be at leisure. You will be relaxed. You will be open. You will be calm. You will be at ease.

You will be free.

P.S. The majestic scent of cow shit is currently seeping into my nasal passage, too.