Permission to Flake

The "Permission to Flake" Edition

August 13, 2022

Many readers have been shocked that I went from being the poster child for giving the middle finger, to a logo with a fucking flower in it. I know. I might as well have put an ice cream cone up there, complete with a couple of clouds. (Don't ever let me get to "cloud level Ambirge," alright????)

I was shocked, too. Being "the middle finger girl" has been my identity for 13 years. I built my personal brand with that name. I sold a book to Penguin Random House with that name. I flirted with men in my TWENTIES with that name. It practically belongs in a museum!

But, you know when I started longing for a new identity?

The day The Today Show had to back out of putting me on the air. The day Amazon prevented me from running an ad for my book. The day Facebook blocked a friend from posting the URL. The day I realized I can never grow beyond organic. The day Publisher's Weekly lumped me in with "the f-bomb squad" as if I were the copycat. (Player, I was slaying this blog when Manson and Sincero were still sucking their thumbs. 😏)

But, then there was another layer: a sneaky layer of shame that started to appear underneath the surface.

There was the day I bought the Philly condo and had dinner with the neighbors—the entire time I was thinking: "Don't judge me by that name: I promise, I'm a good, responsible person." The day at The Arts Club in London when I met important business contacts, and felt like a little girl at the table. The day I went into a Barnes & Noble and felt the need to sheepishly ask for the title. The day a reader met me and said, "I always thought you'd be an angry person."

Once upon a time, The Middle Finger Project was something I was proud of. More recently, however, I started feeling self-conscious about what it said to the world about who I was. Whereas I once used to prance around the world shouting it with glee, as I approach age 40 in a couple of years, I've found myself feeling embarrassed by something that felt like my defining feature. The Middle Finger Project was no longer just something I wrote; it was ME. In a way, I was ashamed of myself.

And, that's a problem. And it's a big problem for someone who believes that when you're afraid of being seen, you stop doing things worth seeing.

I didn't want to forever announce myself to the world with downcast eyes.

And—not for nothin', but—I also didn't want to have to push something uphill for the rest of my life because I'm a masochist sicko who takes hardship as a hilarious personal challenge. "Oh, you don't want to let me run an ad? FINE, I'LL DO IT ALL ORGANICALLY AND I'LL STILL TAKE YOUR JOB, STEVE."

You know, the usual thoughts one thinks.

The third and final nail in the ol' coffin, though—you know what it was? Feeling like the container I had built was no longer big enough for the ideas that I had.

Can you relate to that? Feeling the pressure to "fit" everything into "a brand?" It's a little like forcing yourself to fit into your jeans from college. (Which, to be clear, if you can do, you should *NEVER* say it out loud.)

But, here's the thing about being a grown-ass adult: you can do whatever you want! Nobody's going to hold you hostage! Nobody's going to tell you that you can't! You can reinvent yourself however often as you please, so long as you have the courage to do so with enthusiasm and flair. I got emails when I made this change that were like "thank you for giving me this permission because I wanted to do X but I was worried I'd look like a flake," to which I say: isn't that better than being a coward?

The way I see it, one of the big advantages we get in this life—and there are only so many, including pasta—is that you can LITERALLY create whatever you want to. The internet has made it possible for you to start something new today, if you want, and have it all running by sunset. Most of us don't take advantage of the incredible position we're in to do that: most of us are still waiting to be given a job. To be chosen for a job. To be interviewed for a job. To find a job.

But there is another option, too: to make a job of your own.

And, that's what I'm looking forward to doing with The Vivette: making something new. Blending it with the old. And giving myself the job I want, rather than being held hostage by an identity I once had.

Remember: you are under no obligation to keep up old versions of yourself if they are, in fact, no longer useful. You created your way there, and now you can create a new path for yourself, too.

You can do anything in this world you want.

You can start. You can stop. You can try. You can quit. You can play. You can experiment. You can change your mind over and over again.

Hell, you can even put a flower in your logo.

Just don't forget to stay true to you

—whatever that means right now.

XOXO,

Ash Ambirge

P.S. We might have to keep these Saturday pep talks. Look at me, doing whatever I want! The glory!

P.P.S. Want to share this with someone who needs to hear it? You can grab a link here.

Saturday's Mini Nomad Stories

• Try the "now or later rule" to solve the worst problems about remote work
  
• The beginner's guide to pairing beer & oysters (handy!)
  
• Africa might not be on your radar for investing—but, should it be???
  
• The surprising hobby that's drawing 70-year-olds to the beach 👙
  
• Airbnb could have a key advantage during a recession
  
• Portugal introduces new campaign to attract digital nomads 🤤
  
• Scotch whisky shows surprising strength in global gloom 🥃
  

30-Second Skill: How to Get a Free Flight Upgrade Without Seeming Like a Douche

This language? MEMORIZE. ⬇️

“Hi, I noticed some seats open on today’s flight and wondering if those upgrades have cleared. If they have, and there’s still room, I’d love to be considered for an upgrade.”

Courtesy of this article, where they also mention that, along with choosing a flight based on time and price, you might also want to look at how full the flight is—the less full, the more chances you have to get a free upgrade. 😉

Vivette Business: This Business Coach Earns $842,000 a Year from Her Ultra-Cool Apartment Mexico—And She Doesn't Even Have an Email List Or Use Ads 🤯

This is a must-read if you have email list shame!

This past week, I sat down with Erica Reitman for one of THE most fun and insightful conversations I've ever had about how she went from being an interior designer in L.A. to scrapping her entire business, moving to Mexico, and becoming a business coach who earns $842,000 a year...all without an email list.

(Which, if you know, you know: this is damn-near unheard of.)

I LOVE ERICA AND THINK SHE'S SO SMART.

My goal: find out how her entire business works from top to bottom and how she makes all that dough using unconventional strategies—and then write a report on it to help you steal her best ideas.

Here's why I wanted to profile Erica's business:

1. She charges $25,000 per person for a 3-month engagement and doesn’t bat a single eyelash. It’s 3 months, $25K. And she sells it.
   
2. There’s a $10,000 upgrade if you want to Voxer with her 1:1 throughout the engagement—an interesting reflection for those who have traditionally included this for free—for a grand total of $35K for 3 months.
   
3. Out of the 5 clients she signed this month, 3 of them opted for the upgraded option. (And you better believe I grilled her on how she’s converting so well.)
   
4. AND—this is the most wild part of this entire profile—she built her entire business on Instagram. Consider me tarred, feathered, and humbled. (I’ve historically dissed on Instagram so hard for its pathetic ROI, but Erica’s strategies are LEGIT.)
   
5. SHE’S NEVER PLACED A SINGLE AD.
   
6. She’s not interested in scaling her business.
   
7. She says fuck more than me.
   
8. Oh, and did I mention she also Airbnbs out her home back in L.A. and grosses $7k – $8K a month…while managing in all from abroad?! That’s not even included in the $842K she did last year.

Erica Reitman is on fire 🔥🔥🔥—and now, you can steal her business playbook.

I went through her entire business model with her, step-by-step, including where she finds her clients and how she sells her services for such gloriously wonderful price points—and this woman is FULL of surprising strategies I've never seen done before. (Like using your "close friends list" on Instagram as a way to market yourself the easy way. It's genius.)

This is a gold mine for anyone who sells their services to clients—and especially if you hate writing (but have felt like you needed to in order to run an online business); if you don't have a newsletter or yours is still teeny tiny; if you want to charge WAY more money (but how to get the gonads?!); if you want to do a 180 and change up your career (but think you're too old); if you want to travel and work from anywhere; and, of course, if you want to get Erica's entire playbook for how her entire business works.

Go behind-the-scenes of this $842,000 business and learn how it's done. ⬇️ (Exclusively for subscribers of Vivette Business.)

P.S. Did You Know?

Terra cotta planter boxes date back to early Rome where it was common practice to cultivate cottage gardens for food, medicine and religious uses. Eventually window boxes were planted with decorative flowers.

And Ash's new logo. 😉