Happiness, Being Your Damn Self & Starting the Business That Makes You Brave

The Places Where You Most Feel Like Your (Horribly Cynical, Happy Little) Self

Okay, what the fuck is Washington State?! Why didn’t anyone TELL ME about Washington State?! What is this mecca of evergreens, hoodies, and really, really nice people? I’ve been hunting all over for nice people—so far, all I came up with was “go to Des Moines,”—but THIS has been an unexpected treat.

I always sort of imagined people of the Pacific Northwest to be semi-snooty Danny Tanners (RIP): maybe with a Prius (fine), maybe lathering honey all over their testicles, maybe having a mild, barely-there personality. The kind of people who say “balderdash!” and secretly judge you for using aluminum deodorant. The kind who make their own organic dog biscuits and are far too soft-spoken for a girl with a blog called The Middle Finger Project.

AND EVEN IF THAT’S ALL TRUE, and even if they do make you pay for plastic bags at the grocery store, and even if their pedicure skills are 100% suspect, and even if honking your car horn here will elicit literal and actual gasps, you know what I love about this place?

There’s a sense of less judgment, not more. The vibe I’m getting isn’t judgmental, but helpful—at least, not compared to East-Coast Judgmental, with a capital J. East-Coast Judgmental means: dressing up everywhere you go, wearing makeup everywhere you go, being impressive everywhere you go, being the BEST of absolutely EVERY thing, EVERY where you GO—and doing it all in heels and houndstooth, without time for anything or anyone. Because it’s all a competition:

To be Boston educated, New York City experienced, Philadelphia shrewd, and Washington D.C. dressed. To have Martha’s Vineyard manners, Newport decorum, Hamptons money, and Charleston gentility.

And probably a little Scranton knuckles, too.

While that might sound aspirational, especially that part about Scranton, aspirations can quickly become exhaustion when they turn you into a perpetual performer, forever acting out your life instead of living it. It’s a real joy-zapper, never feeling like you can go anywhere as yourself. And I’m convinced that one of the keys to a happier life?

Is finding the people and places where you can just be YOU.

You Know You Don’t Have to Get on Zoom, Right?

There’s all this pressure to get on Zoom, but you know what? I hate Zoom. It’s not natural. It is not a real-life simulation of face-to-face, but more like putting two naked strangers under a microscope and saying: “Go, now act normal!” Plus, there’s no other place for your eyes to move besides FIXED RIGHT ONTO THEIRS like a creepy, creepy van-driving serial killer, because otherwise where are you staring? At a pile of laundry? That’s rude. And yet! If you were in a real-world setting, you’d have more of a natural ebb and flow of eye movement that wouldn’t make you seem like such a pterodactyl. God, I spelled that right on the first try. Look at me go—next thing you know, I’ll be hanging level picture frames on the first try.

ANYWAY, Zoom is an asshole maker. Terrible first impressions, terrible conversations, terrible for actual connection. It may seem more connected, but in my experience, everything ends up feeling way more faux. I’m sure there are hoards of people who feel differently, but there are also hoards of people who love pouring salt onto slugs—and this is why we don’t care when people unsubscribe from our emails, team. Do you really care what a slug-killer thinks?

The good news is, I’ve found that this invention called the phone still works: and guess what?! Everyone’s relieved. Most people are not like, “Oh, but I REALLY wanted the anxiety of making this software work after spending an extra 45 minutes picking the perfect shade of plum to complement my zitty period chin.”

So, the next time someone proposes Zoom and you feel like a bitter little hostage, all you have to say is: “Can’t do Zoom but happy to hop on a call. What’s your number?” AND LET THERE BE LIGHT, ONCE MORE, IN THIS CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD.

Look! Our First Small Batch of Costa Rican Coffee is in Production!

Can you believe this??????? Who am I????????? What did I do here? Did I really find the most sustainable, best-tasting coffee in all of Costa Rica, call up the farmer, have a gorgeous bag designed, register a corporation in Central America, and MAKE MY OWN LINE OF COFFEE?

Hell yeah, I did.

I’m a huge fan of starting businesses to solve your own problems, and this was a problem that I had experienced tons of times in Costa Rica: all of the coffee looks like crap. Alllll of the bags in every grocery store look cheap, loud, plastic-y, and mass-produced. Nothing was artisanal, local, small-batch, organic, and sustainable, like a beautiful gift I’d want to bring home to someone. So, I fixed it.

It’s called “With Love From Costa Rica,” and we’ll soon be testing the product in all of the Super Joseth grocery stores in Manuel Antonio and Quepos on the Pacific coast, in case you happen to be cruising through Costa Rica anytime soon. ☀️ I’m on my way back there, as we speak, to check it all out in person! It’s so cool to be able to support a local farmer and create something you’re proud of. Soon, if all goes well, I’ll launch online sales, too—and oh god, how fun will it be to get a bag of coffee directly from me in Central America in the mail?!

Something I keep at the forefront of my mind each and every day is that if you’re not having fun, it’s not worth it. So, go have some fun and then figure out how to make some money while you do it. I can’t think of a more pleasant way to live.

Keep on doing all the things they thought you never would. And sometimes, the things you never thought you would. ⚡️

XOXO,

Ash