Trusting your voice 📣, working while traveling 🛩, and the web designer who makes $500K/year 👩‍💻

The "Follow Your Voice" Edition

Sept 13, 2022

I FELL OFF THE STAGE.

Everything was going swimmingly during my speech at The Failure Ball—that's me fist pumping in the front row in the silver & blue!—but of course, I had to wear the world's poofiest ballgown ever—so poofy, that I had to hold it up with two hands in the front in order to walk—so when it was time to come down off the little 3x3 platform, I got so excited, I missed the tiny little step and literally fell off the stage, scraping my elbow and then uttering into the mic, "I hope that makes the final cut!"

Because OF COURSE, there was a TV production company filming there. And OF COURSE, everyone gasped. But at least prior to that moment, I had my dignity in tact.

Prior to that moment, I talked about how, coming from a trailer park, you learn that making people like you is a form of survival. And people pleasing is a form of safety.

So, I learned how to perform the act of being myself, instead of actually being myself.

So much of my early career was characterized by following all the rules and doing everything by the book. Eventually I'd rebel against it all and start one of the boldest brands on the internet for its time—appropriately titled The Middle Finger Project—but my extreme people pleasing would start to rear its head anytime I found myself in a situation with traditional authority figures. I wanted to be taken seriously.

When I first signed with my literary agency in 2015, I wanted to be taken VERY seriously. I set out to write the most serious, most literary book EVER. No trailer park hot pockets here! I would show the world that I had range! I had depth! I wasn't just some little blogger with a "bloggy" voice. (An insult in the publishing world, btw.)

I wrote three VeRy SeRiOuS sample chapters and submitted them to the agency, who was committed to helping me smash this.

The agency came back with notes. ("Notes" basically mean "nice try, dipshit, but this still sucks." 😂)

I'd rewrite them.

The agency would come back with notes.

I'd rewrite them.

The agency would come back with notes.

I was desperately seeking their approval.

This went on for years.

One day out of the blue, an acquisitions editor from Penguin Random House showed up in my personal inbox. Here's what she said:

This was my big chance!

I told her that I had been working on something very exciting; that she'd be the first to see it.

She even asked for an exclusive submission (whereby she'd get a first view of the proposal without us sending it around to other publishing houses).

Finally, we had everything 💯 polished and ready to go. So nerve wracking, after spending years just writing this VeRy LiTerArY proposal + sample chapters!

One day went by.

And then two.

Then three.

Maybe four.

And finally we got an email back that basically was like: "Ash, I love you...but, what the hell is this??? This isn't your voice. The voice I love so much, the one you write with so much passion on your blog, is nowhere to be found in these pages."

Suddenly I realized that, in trying to write the "perfect sample chapters"—the ones where the publishing world and the real world and all the important people would take me seriously—I had inadvertently sabotaged my biggest superpower: my voice.

And all these years, it wasn't other people's approval that had kept me safe: it was me.

I knew what I had to do.

I told her to give me three days.

I locked myself in a room.

And I scrapped everything we had worked so hard on, those past few years.

And then, I sat down to write these sample chapters the way the real Ash would have wrote them.

I made a new proposed table of contents.

And I reveled in all of my brash, bloggy-voiced glory!

I resubmitted the new proposal, not knowing what would happen.

And just like that....I had a six-figure book deal.

Of course, I laugh at the idea of it being "just like that," because clearly it was NOT. The process was a process, and a big part of that was resolving the ongoing battle with myself: the real me versus the performative me.

Turns out, the performative me needs A LOT of notes. 😂

After I gave the speech and FELL OFF THE STAGE, a woman named Cindy came up to me and said "Ash! I'm a book writing coach," she says. "And I use your book to illustrate how to write with authenticity!"

And isn't that just ironic as hell?

Because The Middle Finger Project almost wasn't. In fact, it wasn't even going to be called The Middle Finger Project. The Committee of True and Actual Greatness was its original title. And, isn't that ALSO ironic?

Stay true to who you are, babes.

TRUST IN YOUR OWN IDEAS.

Trust the way you write, talk, move, and speak in this world.

Trust that it's good enough.

And not just good enough, but great.

There is no such thing as "right." There is only you.

And that's exactly who we need you to be.

Ash Ambirge

P.S. Want to share this with someone who needs to hear it? You can view the email here.

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Digital Nomad Minis

• OfftheGrid, a new Tinder-like travel app, helps travelers meet up and discover destinations 🌎
  
• This 17-year-old becomes the youngest person to fly around the world solo! 🛩
  
• Vienna's new Rosewood hotel is a celebration of its grand locale 😍 (we're on our way there soon!)
  
• Ennismore, the fastest-growing lifestyle hospitality company, announces its latest signing in Colombia, with Mama Shelter Medellín—which will have more than 3,000 square meters of coworking space. Go Medellín!
  
• Llama Life keeps coming up on my radar as an awesome app to help you stay focused...especially while working remotely (and, come on, THAT NAME THO)
  
• Wellness travel huge in demand, bringing new resorts to bloom
  
• "Zero Trust" is a trending topic right now: it's a remote work cybersecurity framework, since 70% of remote workers admit to having used personal devices to access a work-related network, causing 74% of businesses to suffer cyberattacks.
  
• Here are the 10 most in-demand work-from-anywhere jobs that companies are hiring for in 2022 (Look at that—"writer" is #2! I've been saying it for a decade and I'll keep saying it: writers are going to be some of the most in-demand professionals in the future. Starving artist who, mom???)

We're Currently Traveling Across the Midwest!

Spontaneous new travel development! 🌟

We looked at a map the other day and decided that, instead of hopping on a plane to Europe right away, we're going to get a car here in Denver and just drive clear across Nebraska, into Des Moines, and up to Chicago...because, why not?

There is no hurry when you're a digital nomad who can work from anywhere.

No reason to be anywhere else.

And, why not take advantage while we're here?

THIS IS WHAT I WANT FOR YOU, TOO.

To be able to pick up and take yourself on an adventure whenever you feel like it. To be able to marvel and gasp in awe at the world. To be able to do your work from the road, without having to worry about money. To have an all-new level of freedom that most people will never have.

And to do it in style, in comfort, in luxury.

We're not talking backpacks and hostels: we're talking Airbnbs with patios for indulging in a glass of the local red wine. We're talking boutique hotels with swanky restaurants. We're talking renting apartments in places across the world to spend a month at a time. Go ahead, bring your family. Bring your dog. Life doesn't have to be either/or.

Life can be an AND.

Stability and adventure.

Travel and money.

Excitement and the coziness of home.

(I'm such a homebody...who loves to be a homebody while traveling the world. 😂)

Part of it comes down to priorities. Part of it comes down to money. And part of it comes down to systems.

Curious? Add yourself to the interest list—I've got something up my sleeve!

30-Second Skill: How to Eat Mussels Without Flinging that Meat & Hitting Some Guy Name Jacques in the Head

I know I just got done rah-rahing you on to BREAK ALL THE RULES and follow your own voice (and probably eat mussels however you damn well please), but I also happen to loooooooooove etiquette—and write about it here often—because I've found that the more you know what the rules are, the more comfortable you are entering any damn room you please.

Especially in a global context.

So for today's tip?

HOW TO EAT MUSSELS WITHOUT FLINGING THAT MEAT AND HITTING SOME GUY NAMED JACQUES IN THE FOREHEAD.

Now, disclaimer: as someone who didn't eat mussels, oysters, clams, or seafood for the longest time, I've come a long way. Part of that is knowing how to eat the damn things.

Here's a tip I learned while traveling—and it's a good one!

Instead of awkwardly using a knife to cut the mussel out of its shell, use the shell of another empty mussel as tongs. 🤯

Myka demonstrates this gorgeously here!

Sure, you can use a fork...but why, when you can be THIS cool?

I need say no more.

Nomad Business: "Client Casually Asked Me If I Can Add These Other Big Things Onto the Project...But Didn't Offer to Pay More. How Can I Charge Them Without Seeming Like a Greedy Boob???"

Ah, scope creep! A freelancers most EXCELLENT adventure.

The good news is: there's an easy breezy way to handle this without making it a big deal at all.

Here's a script I wrote that you can use or adapt for your needs! ⬇️

Hi, [Client]!

Sure, I'd be most happy to help you with that. 🌟

Since it's an added cherry on top of our original project scope sundae, turnaround time would be 7-10 days, billed at $X per hour.

If that's cool, send over the details and I'll add it to our deliverables!

[You]

And voilà: you've just set magical, healthy client boundaries without even a hint of drama.

Save this one for sure!

This Introverted Web Designer Earns $500,000/Year…Without Working Herself to Death. Here’s Her Secret! 👩‍💻 🖥 🎨 💪

What if you could make all the money in the world…if you could just take out the emotion?

This is the question I find myself asking after interviewing Shannon Mattern, a long-time web designer who struggled for YEARS with client boundaries, chronic overworking and undercharging, and NOT wanting to ask for money.

Today, however, she earns $500,000 a year—and she’s finally figured out a system for herself that works. 🌟

I was really excited to do this business breakdown for several key reasons:

1. Today, she’s now the QUEEN of what I’m going to call “unusually beautiful client boundaries”—and they’re responsible for her being able to make a half a million a year (you’re going to take so many notes).
   
2. She’s a total introvert who used to hate selling herself, until she mastered the (SO SMART) sales process we’re going to talk about today.
   
3. She totally figured out how to scale without overwhelm—she spends 5 hours a week running her core business. (Not a typo.)
   
4. Instead of Facebook ads, she does something else—I rarely hear of this being done, but holy ukuleles, it converts like gangbusters!
   
5. She turns away clients who are “in a desperate situation”—not because she doesn’t care, but because she DOES. However, this strategy has a massive silver lining: it ensures that all of her clients are financially stable, invested, and committed. And WHAT a difference this makes.
   
6. She says that hiring her first employees “changed her life”—and she tells us her secret for how she hired without all the dread and fear of managing other people. (In fact, they manage her, rather than the other way around.)
   
7. She’s an excellent example of someone running a profitable, year-round evergreen program with ease—and today’s breakdown is a MUST if you want to earn more on autopilot.
   

Go behind-the-scenes of this $500,000 web design business and learn the secrets of how she does it. ⬇️

Exclusively for subscribers of Vivette Business.

P.S. Did You Know?

Big Ben is the bell itself, but the tower is called Elizabeth Tower, named after Elizabeth II. 👑

(Though during Queen Victoria's reign, it was called St. Stephen's Tower!)

All four nations of the UK are represented on the tower on shields featuring a rose for England, thistle for Scotland, shamrock for Ireland, and leek for Wales. (Wales got the shaft on that one, huh?)

The clock uses its original Victorian mechanism, but an electric motor is available as a backup.

It's been under renovations for the past four years, no bells to be heard—every time I've been in London recently, there has been scaffolding all over the place—but earlier this year, the scaffolding was removed, revealing a surprise: the clock face is now blue!

Except, it was always blue. Originally, when the tower was first built in 1959, it was "Prussian Blue," as they call it. Over the years, however, it was painted black to cover up the soot-stained dials. 🕰