You Don't Look Stupid: A Grown-Ass Guide to Self-Reinvention

I’m doing it, you guys.

I’m doing it.

I AM DOINGGGGG ITTTTTT! (Cue the Rocky theme, but with more sequins.)

Me, at age 40—okay fine, 41 (shit, how did that happen?) I’m doing something I’ve been considering for some time now:

I’m starting my own crazy, irreverent, wildchild interiors & wallpaper brand.

Yes, like that wallpaper. The kind Americans apparently only know about if their home hasn’t been touched since the Nixon administration. The kind Brits plaster over every available surface like it’s a national sport. (Which is where I first fell madly in love, between gin & tonics and bad pub carpets.) This is the kind of wallpaper I’ve been dyinnggggggg for while renovating this 1800s farmhouse in the middle of the sticks. Because if I’m going to freeze to death here in January, I can’t do it while staring at drywall that looks like it came pre-soaked in contractor tears.

What kind of wallpaper is that, you ask?

The kind that waltzes in looking like the Queen’s Sunday dress—florals, toile, plaid, and did I mention florals (because apparently I have a floral problem).

But then, you lean in closer… and realize the vines aren’t just vines. Oh no. They’re whispering at you. Little witty words. Surprising, slightly scandalous words. Words that clash so hard with the elegance of the design, it’s like Jane Austen quoting Cardi B.

Rap lyrics. Unconventional ideas. Sharp thoughts. The kind of cheeky little lines that make you do a double take while you’re sipping tea in front of a wall of roses. Because why shouldn’t your living room quietly whisper, “Started from the bottom, now we’re here”—in 18th-century pastoral toile?

This is wallpaper with manners, but also a mouth. Wallpaper that says, “Sure, I’m classy—but I also know every word to Biggie.”

And frankly? That’s the kind of wall I want to live with.

I’m calling the brand: WITPAPER. (Obviously.)

Andddddd, I thought it would make for an excellent case study to publish about here on Substack, so we can all learn about building a creative brand together. I’ll be writing about the process, the fun stuff, the big-ass mistakes, and all the hard-won lessons I’m sure I’ll learn along the way.

And, of course! I’ll be writing more about my own farmhouse renovation here in the countryside of America, too—mostly because this has just been FUNNY. If you read any of my past posts about this, you’ll know what you’re in for. 🤣

YAY.

In the meantime, you can expect some suuuuuuuper exciting announcements coming in the next few weeks, as I launch some exciting big new products that I think you’re going to love. A new book! A new book writing service! (But wait for it, it’s RAD.) A new class! A new artwork line! (Yes, ME. Just wait for that, too!) And—drum rollllllllll—a new (ready?) podcast.

Yes, that’s right. It’s podcast time. And you better not pick on me.

You also definitely better listen! 🤣

I’ll be launching these intentionally, one at a time—as one does.

ANYWAY—so, so many exciting things happening.

And through it all, you always have to remember this one simple, but profound, belief:

You do not look stupid.

You look like a lightning bolt in the sky—unmistakable, electric, the kind of beauty that rearranges everything it touches.

And if anyone disagrees, I’ll just wallpaper over them.