Adultery Saturdays: Make The More Interesting Choice

 
It’s time to cut the cheese to the chase. (But mmmm, cheeeeeese.)
 
You know that quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that’s all, “Do one thing every day that scares you”? Or the eighty gajillion variations on it that claim real growth only happens outside of your comfort zone? And that if it terrifies you, you need to be doing it?
 
Ahem. Those sayings? We’re done with those saying. Like, throw-their-shit-out-an-open-4-story-window-and-watch-their-t-shirts-and-record-collection-scatter-along-the-road-below-and-maybe-get-run-over-by-a-well-timed-semi done with those sayings. (Also, apparently those sayings are cool enough to have record collections.)
 
Because if you do something every day that scares you?
 

You’re going to spend every day in fear, and excuse my French, mais that is a fucking terrible way to live.

 
And while trying new things is the spice of life, (assuming we’re talking about Chalula hot sauce and some hefty splashes of freshly ground ginger), there are other ways to make the mundane manageable without committing to 50 or 74 or 89 more years of sheer, unadulterated terror.
 
Because playing doesn’t have to mean petrified.
Starting something new doesn’t have to mean startled.
And picking a new restaurant doesn’t have to mean panicked.
 
So let’s a make a pact. (Don’t worry–no signing your name in blood involved…probably.)
 

A pact to always make the more interesting choice.

 
To choose the higher heels instead of your normal flats.
To let the woman in front of you buy your morning coffee instead of shyly declining.
To vacation in Egypt, instead of spending yet another two weeks in Disney World.
 
Leading an exciting life doesn’t have to scare the shit out of you. And the devil is in those little daily details.
 

Choose the brighter lipstick. Try that plate of Rocky Mountain Oysters. Go canoeing on the sound side of a sun-soaked strip of coastline.

 
But don’t feel like you have to strip down ass naked, light yourself on fire, and throw your flaming body out the side of a plane to grow, because that’s how people go kersplat, you guys, (or at the very least, end up naked on the 9 o’clock news, and your elementary school gym teacher probably watches that show.)
 
This is actually the only instance in the history of mankind* where you don’t have to go the biggest or go home. Just go a different way home, because those little adventures? Make an entire world of difference.
 
*Or womankind. Or iguana-kind, because iguanas have been around for like, ever. They’re basically the Chuck Norrises (Norrees?) of lizards. 
 

What can you do that’ll make your life more interesting without causing you to piss your panties? Because I don’t know about you, but wet underwear sounds like a recipe for Chafing, (with a capital C).

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Jessica Manuszak

Jess is a rebel with a cause, (and also lots of cardigans), who maniacally fled from college with a few degrees in creative writing tucked securely under her right arm. After sprinting away from corporate America so fast you'd think her ass was ablaze with a fire perfect for roasting s'mores, she spends her time mainlining gin-soaked olives, jumping into rivers with extreme reckless abandon, and sleeping with the lights on after marathoning shows about ghosts. As the creative strategist, lead project manager, and writer of Adultery here at TMF, she's a horse of a different color, (which mostly makes her want to knock on a huge wooden door and insist on seeing the wizard).

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