Ugh, I can't believe it happened:
One of the cool neighbors finally stopped by the other day to see the cottage renovations—he has a historic preservation company in Philly but owns the old creamery building near the farmhouse—and do you know what I had?????????
DO YOU KNOW ALL I FREAKIN' HAD IN THE FRIDGE??????
Was leftover Busch Light from the beer drinkers two weeks ago! 🙈
Busch Light, you guys. Busch LIGHT.
Of all the times to not have a carmenere on hand??? Or a bottle of bubbles? Or a bordeaux? Or even a craft beer, for hell's sake. So of course I said to him, with all my enthusiasm, "Would you like a can of America's shittiest beer?"
And the good man said YES.
So basically what I'm telling you is that I'm the world's first person to ever serve Busch + Brie, and I'm pretty sure this is an apt metaphor for my life???
Anyway, we started talking about work and he was like "what are you working on lately?" and I told him "I'm going back to school for paleontology," which is an outright lie and you should not believe that at all (though I am becoming quite the fossil myself), so that's not what I said (of course) but what I REALLY told him about was one of the secret new projects I've been working on, but not revealing here until Wednesday, because it's a TOP SECRET NEW THING———and do you know what my poor, silly little friend actually said to me in response?????
He had the nerve to say . . . the A-word.
As in, "AI."
As in, "But, isn't AI putting you—a writer—out of business?"
And that was the moment when I had to smooth my mustache, take in a big breath of air, hoist myself up off the chair, walk over to his poor, sad skull, and drive a nail into his forehead.
At least, that's what I was doing in my brain. You ever think to yourself, "what would actually happen if I ______[insert totally shocking thing]_____ right now?????????" I think that kind of stuff all the time. Don't let me babysit your kids.
So this is the moment when I had to stand tall, grasp my sceptre, and DEFEND THE ART OF HUMAN WRITING. Felt weird. Like when you're 15 and someone picks on you and you're like, "but...but....but, no, I swear I'm cool!!!"
His big thing:
"Why isn't everyone just using AI to write their newsletter?"
(I know. I spit.)
My retort? (Great word.)
"Would you actually want to read it??????????????"
^^^ This, right here, is the point. The point of all the points. The pointiest point.
I then went on to explain to him that my job, as a copywriter, is to make people fall irrationally in love. To write the kinds of things that feel like neon violet cocaine. To turn absolute, complete strangers into into loyal ride-or-die, tried-and-true, lifelong brand devotees. And, to make my clients so rich, they have a villa in France with very large ponies as pets and at least three friends named Archibald (old chap) while the sun beams down on their morning paper as they squish around in their fuzzy heritage slippers and think fondly of the duck ragu they had last night at dinner in that teeny, tiny wine bar where they first fell in love with life again.
That's the job.
If you don't have a villa in France yet, I'm not doing it right.
But, all that can't happen without one critical thing first:
Attention.
Attention is the single, most-important ingredient you need before anything else can happen. And, that is what real writing gives you: genuine "hell YES" connection. With real humans. And real stories. And real emotions. And, not to mention, the very real ability to pay.
AI couldn't tell you the story about the Busch Light. (Surely a pinnacle!) Or tell you about the duck ragu and three men named Archibald.
And, this is what we need now, more than ever: more real stories. More humanity. More connection. More depth.
More real writing.
Not less.
The brands who are smart will recognize that the new gold standard isn't to be perfect; it's to be real.
Because real is the only way we'll care.
P.S. I didn't really think about driving a nail through his forehead. Probably will have real weird dreams now though.
P.P.S. Stay tuned for Wednesday. It's going DOWN. Mark my email as important so you don't miss it and it doesn't go into the folder of doom with all of those Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons.
P.P.P.S. I am gonna die if the answer is yes, but DO YOU DRINK BUSCH LIGHT???? Now I need to know. 👇
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