Miracle-Gro Doesn't Sell Fertilizer (And You're Not Selling What You Think, Either)

Hi, it’s Ash—and welcome to Ashtronomical! Every week, I’m sending you 5 original marketing ideas your competitors will wish they'd thought of first. 💀 Maybe there’ll be one in here for you???

Steal this brand idea 💥

This morning I WATERED THE FLOWERS, which is so very adult of me. Even more adult?

I added a scoop of Miracle Grow. 🌷

OH YES, LOOK AT ME SOAR.

And, as I was standing there, convincing passersby that I am anything reasonably domestic (am not), I thought to myself:

Miracle Grow is going in THE NEWSLETTER. Because Miracle Grow is the perfect example of what a brand name should do. Because Miracle Grow understood one thing better than its competitors:

People don’t want fertilizer.

People want the crackin’ flowers to grow.

Compare that with other brands, and it’s immediately obvious:

• Osmocote - Smart Release Plant Food
• Schultz - Plant Food Plus
• Espoma - Houseplant Food
• BioAdvanced - Rose * Flower Care

All of those are shite brand names. None of ‘em gimmie any kind of feels. None of ‘em hit you across the face with a crowbar and whisper, “Hey babe, your hydrangeas are about to have their glow-up.”

Because here’s the truth about branding:

People don’t buy the what. They buy the wish.

Miracle Grow didn’t name their product after the technical ingredient.
They named it after the transformation.

And THAT, my little petunia, is the power of emotional brand naming.

You’re not just naming what the thing is.
You’re naming what the person wants.

So whether you’re selling books, a course, or, I don’t know, high-performance worm food—don’t name the product.

Name the payoff.

Name the pride.

Name the party in their brain when they win.

Name the freakin’ miracle.

And if you really want to impress the neighbors?
Water your fake flowers, too.

Marketing’s half an illusion anyway. 😉

🌱

Steal this sales idea 💰

I am OBSESSSSSED with *Honeybook*!

You ~need~ this if you sell services.

Two big, hunky dorky? reasons:

• Your clients can select any service you offer, view the details, sign the agreement, pay the invoice, and schedule their first meeting with you (optional) all by themselves—ALL TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME. (Life saver! No more sending documents back and forth foreverrrrr! You just set up the workflow and put it on your website, and omgggggggggggg.) Then, they can log into their client portal and you can message back and forth & manage the whole thing from inside—without letting things slip through the cracks. ⚡️
• And?????? (This is a big one!) They can also ~pick their own installment plan~ (if you have the setting turned on). Or, or, or! They can elect to pay-in-full for an automatic 10% discount. (When they select that option, it automatically reduces the bill. In this example, it would be $9K instead of $10K if they pay-in-full up front.) This is HUGE. Like someone handing you a Ferrari.
• (*Use this link* to get 30% off of Honeybook, yay. 🎉)

*Denotes affiliate link

Steal this marketing idea ⚡️

This is Tash from the paint company Lick. 🎨

And right now?

She’s doing this really fun “how to pick the perfect paint palette for your house 🏡” series over on the B&Q Instagram page. (Which is the adorable British version of Home Depot. 🛠️)

What’s great about it is, she’ll suggest a color scheme, and then tell you exactly which paint colors from the Lick line she used. That = more sales for Lick! 💰

But at the same time, B&Q is getting super useful content for their IG page. 💪 (And they also retail Lick in stores.)

So, if you’re thinking about a social strategy—why not figure out a) what people want to know; b) who the expert is to tell them; c) and see if you can’t do a partnership?

Because let’s be honest—why build an audience from scratch when you could just steal their friends and split the snacks?

Steal this copy idea 📝

Well, they could’ve just said:

Perfume. 50ML. US Shipping Only. Please allow up to 3-5 business days to process and ship.

Instead, they said this 👇:

“Girl of the Year is an exploration into the private enclaves of the woman, off film, away from parties, protected from the flash of the camera. It is the quiet moments between calls and engagements, the space reserved for nestling into your memories.

Artifacts of a life being lived populate your space, untidy and endearing: the leather jacket left behind by a lover lazily draped on the sofa, your vanity clumsy with perfumes and jewelry, the littered ashtray on your windowsill. Every article of clothing and tube of lipstick a talisman of self expression and protection becomes a souvenior of the moment, iconic of an era. From the solitude of your dressing table, you stare at your reflection with no one else to see. The phone rings.”

Now…tell me emotions don’t sell.

Steal this business tool 🤓

Came across Lettuce yesterday.

What I liked: “Everytime you get paid, your taxes are set aside and paid for you automatically.”

UM, HELLO!

‘Nuff said. 🤣

The happy delicious end.

P.S. I send an email like this one every week. Subscribe for next week’s edition👇