Put “Jane Doe Needs Pasta” at the Top of Your Website. Trust Me.

Hi, it’s Ash—and welcome to Ashtronomical! Every week, I’m sending you 5 original marketing ideas your competitors will wish they'd thought of first. 💀 Maybe there’ll be one in here for you???

Steal this brand idea 💥

The worst thing about having to make a personal brand website for yourself?

The headline or logo that simply says “Jane Doe.”

Oh, it’s so awful! There’s just no connection there; no spunk; no emotional kick in the teeth. (We like those, and so do your customers.)

Instead, try writing an irreverent sentence about yourself, connected to your work, as your big headline, to add a little drama, interest, and flair at the top of the page ⚡️:

“Ash Ambirge Needs Pasta.”
”Ash Ambirge is Thinking in Headlines Again.”
”Ash Ambirge is Allergic to Polyester.”
”Ash Ambirge is Splurging on Wallpaper.”
”Ash Ambirge Has Questions About Your Accounting.”
”Ash Ambirge Speaks Fluent Internet.”
”Ash Ambirge Will Make You a Legend.”

Make it fun. Make it snappy. Make it memorable. And keep it positive. ✅

And now, you’ve got something yummy for a reader’s brain 🧠 to hook into—to immediately do a double take about!—to find out more. 🪄

Steal this sales idea 💰

I need a garage fan.

This is because my garage is the shit.

I LOVE this garage. It’s more like a superdome. You could absolutely play basketball in this thing. There’s even a whole other room, built inside the garage, that’s heated and used to be the previous owner’s art studio. IT’S ADORABLE. Maybe a little spidery. But ADORABLE. (Right now I’m building a window seat in there!) (I know, a window seat!!!!!!!!!!)

Anyway, it’s gonna be 90 this week. And thus, my super awesome super garage needs a super awesome fan.

I instantly went to my favorite fans on earth—Big Ass Fans. Wouldn’t they be your favorite, if you knew about them? (And yes, I have a favorite fan??????)

These are some, well….big-ass fans. I’ve seen them in restaurants and hotels when I lived in Central America. Where it’s REAL hot. So naturally, I took a gander over to the website. And, that’s when you faint. (But not from heat exhaustion.)

Granted, this is an industrial fan, not necessarily a residential one, but I’m pretty sure I could buy a used pickup truck, a goat, and enough gas station wine to forget both for the same price.

SO I KEPT ON THE HUNT.

And then, I came across this other one.

And suddenly my brain stupidly goes, “Oh! It’s only $585!”

As if that were cheap?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

As if I would spend this kind of money on a fan?!??!?!?!

And this, my friend, is the sticky, sticky human fly trap of sales psychology: it’s called “The Anchor Effect,” and it has nothing to do with tying an anchor to your feet and wishing the world goodbye after you buy one of these things.

Rather, The Anchor Effect happens when a customer encounters a high price first, it then acts as a mental anchor—or reference point—so anything else they see afterward seems like a freakin’ bargain. Relatively speaking, of course. And, that’s the thing: pricing is ALWAYS relative. It's not about how much something actually costs—it's about how much it feels like it costs in comparison to something else. Your brain isn't calculating logic, it's calculating vibes. 😎

So when you see a $10,000 fan and then spot a $585 one made of three twigs and a prayer, your lizard brain goes, “STEAL! BARGAIN! PUT IT ON THE CARD!”

Because now you're not judging the second fan against its own worth—you're judging it against the industrial air cannon that came before it. This is how people end up spending $300 on a linen pillow that looks like depression and deflates after one sit.

Everything is relative. Even your common sense.

How to use it to your advantage:

• Always list the most expensive product first, then go down from there. It sets expectations correctly. Reverse that, and suddenly everything seems overpriced. (You’ll see this mistake made on wine lists often. Never start with the cheapest!)
• Go ahead and create the higher priced service or product you were nervous about creating! Some people will buy it, which is wonderful for your confidence / bank account / awesome business. For the rest, however, they will use this as the anchor to which they adjust their expectations about your value and your pricing - so then that more moderately-priced service, course, class or book will seem like a bargain, relatively speaking. Because that is the ONLY way we speak about pricing. It’s all relative. But if you have nothing to compare it to, the only thing people are going to think is “expensive.” Because without an anchor? It always will be.

Steal this marketing idea ⚡️

Please, please, please, please, please, please use *Sparkloop* if you do nothing else this year except eat shredded cheese from the bag.

Yup, that’s the advice.

SIGN UP FOR IT, AND SET IT UP. It’ll take minutes.

It’s perfect for running things like giveaways—and getting butt-tons of sign-ups to your mailing list, without having to be perfect unicorn who launches six funnels, records 87 Reels, and personally hand-delivers lead magnets tied to jars of artisanal pickles.

Just set it up. Let it do its sneaky viral magic.
Then go back to doing what you’re actually good at: being brilliant, weird, and not emotionally attached to your unsubscribe rate.

Go. Use it. Thank me later. Or name your first subscriber baby after me. 🤷‍♀️

*Affiliate link

Steal this copy idea 📝

This is from Pirate Ship.

I cannot resist.

JUST BECAUSE OF THE COPY. You instantly feel put at ease, like everything’s gonna work out.

This is the sorcery of personality-filled copywriting: it isn’t about being funny, it’s about being delightful.

The more delight you can offer, the more sales you will make.

It’s a very simple equation, and it’s one that (sadly) often goes overlooked.

(Need help with this? I might have juuuust the thing, coming soon! Enter your email huzzah huzzah over here 👈 to join the interest list if you’d love to have me write bright, bold, fizzy, personality-drenched brand copy that’ll tickle their limbic system & make 'em Joe Goldberg Crazy about your product. The only thing on the menu is DELIGHT. 💥)

Steal this business idea 🤓

Niche bookshops are HOT HOT HOT right now.

The Guardian recently reported “The Rise of the Niche Bookshop” in their newsletter, quoting several that are getting wild amounts of buzz right now:

1. Criminally Good Books: A bookshop that only sells true crime & crime fiction
2. The Imaginarium: A bookshop that only sells sci-fi and fantasy books
3. The Haunted Bookshop: A bookshop that only sells witchcraft and horror
4. And…Saucy Books: A brand-new bookshop (opened just 3 days ago) that only sells romance novels & love stories (love how cute their website is!)

The thing they’re doing SO well?

Curation.

There is money in giving people fewer, but better, choices.

Turns out, niche is no longer narrow—it’s magnetic. 🧲

The happy, happy, gloriously delicious end.