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Quick Disclaimer: I’m about to share stories from my past that were once embarrassing, anxiety inducing, and straight up troublesome to think or talk about. For this reason, I’ve let myself drift longer than usual in post length. These personal stories do have a point, just hang with me. Oh, and if you make it the end and find yourself in Philly, just remind me about this and consider your next Philly Cheesesteak on me.

(Ash Note:  For the record, DeMatteo never offered me a free cheesesteak when I was living in Philly!  Consider yourselves lucky!)

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Fear Story #1 – I don’t want your life, Kevin Bacon!

When did you attend your first school dance? Fifth grade? 8th grade? Freshman year of
college? All are likely top answers on Family Feud, but it’s not my answer. I was a 17
years old Senior in High School when I attended my first dance and confronted my fear
of public dancing — but only because my ex-girlfriend was making me.

I’d like to tell you that facing my fear led to a magical night of dancing. Instead I’m
going to share how attending my first dance resulted in one of the most embarrassing
nights of my life.

My ex-girlfriend lived across the street from the high school, so I conveniently
parked outside of her house and climbed out of the safe confines of my beige Toyota
Corolla. The slamming sound of my car door shutting triggered an instant rush of fear
and anxiety. My knees felt incredibly weak as I walked across the lawn towards her front
door. Then it happened! I began dry heaving in the middle of her lawn, keeled over,
and being watched by at least a dozen other students walking by her house to go to the
dance. Great start, Rich.

The dry heaving continued in her parents’ bathroom. And then again as we walked to her
parents SUV (they offered to drive us 100 feet). Then it settled. It stopped. I arrived to
the dance, sat in the corner, and had an awful time. Sorry ex.

But you know what? Each time I went to a dance they became more and more fun. After
a few more practice runs, a break-up, and a sick new Tuxedo, I was ready for the Senior
Prom. It ruled. Had a great time with my friends and even danced during some of the
faster songs. Mmm, taste that? It’s the taste of success soup and I ate a whole damn can
of it!

Flash Forward to Present Day

My nickname is fast feet. I have several dance moves I perform in public that are simply
for laughs. I’m not a good dancer. I don’t have moves. But I enjoy myself, and the only
way I’m dry heaving on the dance floor is if someone slips me some bad shellfish.

You can even catch some of my Usher like dance moves on YouTube. I promised the
#JobHuntChat community that if we reached 300 participants in a single chat, that I’d
gladly dance on YouTube for them. And I did — for four minutes. Enjoy!

Fear Story #2 – Buff Moby or Vin Diesel?

Losing hair is very traumatizing for a man. Luckily for me, I started losing mine at the
age of 20. Wait…fuck.

College guys are supposed to be using Pert Plus, not special chia-pet
promising shampoo, prescribed from a hair doctor. But that was my life junior and
senior year of college and my departing hair follicles really bothered me. A lot.

I always wore a hat. To class. To the bar. To house and dorm parties. To the doctor. It
was my solution. My temporary solution.

When I graduated from college I became obsessed with bald celebrities. There’s so
many! And as I lost more hair, I became more obsessed. Here are some bald celebs:

• Vin Diesel
• Bruce Willis
• Jason
  Statham (Alright, he’s half bald, but 100% bad ass!)
• Billy Zane
• Moby

I know, Moby doesn’t belong. More coming on him later.

The way I saw it, I had two options:

1. Just get over it and let my hair continue to drop like it’s hot
2. Man up, lather up my head, and shave my dome

I spent the longest time debating options 1 and 2 and the only reason I wasn’t going with
option 2 and shaving it all off was because I was terrified of how I’d look. Would I look like a pale white dude? Would I need facial hair? Could I grow cool facial hair?

After college I got serious into body building, and gaining muscle came easy to
me. Would I end up looking like Vin Diesel or would I look like Buff Moby? Yes, this
question honestly crossed my mind, and more than just a few times.

Then on one sweet day in May 2009 it happened! My Colombian hair dresser double
booked me, and I REALLY needed a haircut as I was about to head to Key West with
a bunch of friends. My lifting buddy and good friend, Marc, had been telling me he
shaves his own head with a no-clip electric razor (practically bald), and would do mine if
I wanted. I called him up on the drive home, crossed my fingers, and said goodbye to my
hair.

I loved it. I absolutely loved it. My head was perfectly shaped for the look. After a couple
months of rocking the look, I started using a razor on my head, and never looked back.

Thanks, Marc!

Flash Forward to Present Day

I still love my shaved head. It’s smooth. It’s shiny. Girls like to touch it. I bond
instantly with other bald dudes. One drunk dude called me, “Mr. Clean in the Jeans” one
night, and that was awesome. No more spending money on haircuts. It just rules. The
end.

Fear Story #3 – Corporate cube monkey or Bad Rhino?

I spent 5 years in agency and corporate recruiting. I have my Masters in Human
Resources Development from Villanova University. On paper my life looks to be set up
for Corporate HR glory. But sometimes shit happens and you realize that everything you
thought you wanted, just isn’t so attractive anymore.

My company was suddenly acquired by Oracle, which included a layoff of all HR employees. That was March 2009. In July of 2009, I started Corn on the Job, a job search blog that I created as a hobby. Well, it wasn’t long before I realized this “hobby” was much bigger than I dreamed. Corn on the Job was ranked the #11 career blog in the world, I wrote for Monster.com and PersonnelToday.com, I was featured in Reader’s Digest, and I quickly gained attention from the top minds in Career 2.0.

In February 2010 I Founded #JobHuntChat, the first Twitter Chat for job seekers. It completely changed the online job search game, and my brand grew to elite levels.

While all of these amazing things were going on, I still felt that one day I’d be in
corporate america, working as a cube monkey Clark Kent during the day, and an entrepreneur Superman at night. Did I really want to go back to corporate america?

The answer was no, but I felt it was my only option, and going full on entrepreneur was terrifying to me.

What if I didn’t make it? If I didn’t make it, could I go back to recruiting? Would they
even take me?

These scary questions led me to just partially dip my body into the entrepreneurial
waters. I turned Corn on the Job into a profitable business with my Job Seeker Services and #JobHuntChat is on it’s way to profitability as well.

I even tried to go back to recruiting. I worked a four month contract as a recruiting
consultant from July 2010 to September 2010. I was damn good at my job, and even
enjoyed the work, however, I wasn’t loving it. I wanted to be home working on Corn on the Job, working on #JobHuntChat, and building more amazing things.

During my time on contract, I spent many days in my boss Marty’s (also a great friend)
office discussing our ideas for a company we could create. Our ideas hit the white board,
and what took form was the early concepts of a Social Media Agency. It wasn’t long
before we realized we had a great idea and that we could make it work.

Bad Rhino was born!

Marty and I continued to plan Bad Rhino, Inc. after my contract ended.  We developed a blog, a company site (coming in April), and everyday we expressed our excitement towards our new startup.

Flash Forward to Present Day

I chose Bad Rhino. Several months ago I decided it was time to jump head first
and enjoy whatever the entrepreneurial waters brought my way. The Bad Rhino Blog has launched, and our company site will launch on April 12.I’m doing it. It feels awesome. The fear has changed to excitement, and I KNOW that I’m going to make it. Why? Because it’s my only option. It’s the only option I see for myself. Failure just can not exist.

My Final Take on Fear

As you saw in my first story, facing your fear won’t always be a great experience. In fact,
you might end up dry heaving. It might get better with each time you try it, but maybe it
won’t. You might always dry heave.

In my second story you saw how fear can be replaced with excitement and joy very quickly. Sometimes just trying something once will completely erase your fear.

I don’t know yet what will happen with Bad Rhino, but I do know that it will work and
I’ll be successful. That’s all I need to know. The fear is still there, but instead of letting it
slow me down, I’ll harness it to push my innovation, drive my creativity, and motivate me
to work harder.

Look for ways to use fear to drive you to levels you never thought possible. Envision
success as your ONLY option and you’ll find yourself enjoying a nice can of success
soup. Just bring a spoon.

And it’s OK to be nervous, a little dry heaving never hurt anyone. Trust me.

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Rich DeMatteo is a Philadelphia area Social Media Professional, Recruiting Consultant, and Entrepreneur.  He is the Founder of Corn on the Job, one of the most visited and recognizable brands in Career 2.0.  His job search knowledge can be seen on Monster.com, Reader’s Digest, and U.S. News to name a few places.  In February 2010, he Founded and launched#JobHuntChat, Twitter’s first chat for the job search.  In just one year, the #JobHuntChat community has blasted out 250,000 Tweets, all of them focused on helping job seekers!

Most recently, Rich announced he is the Co-Founder of Bad Rhino, Inc, a new Social Media Agency in Philadelphia that helps businesses maximize, develop, or learn social media.  Bad Rhino believes success comes from social media innovation, engagement, and creative content.  The company site launches in April, so for now check out the Bad Rhino Blog, or say “howdy” on Twitter or Facebook!

Tweet Rich @CornOnTheJob or join the Corn on the Job Facebook Page of over 5,300 active careerists!

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If you liked that jazz. . .check out some of these:

• Fear, Exposed – Featuring Avril David
• Fear, Exposed – Featuring Kelly Gurnett (AKA Cordelia)
• Fear, Exposed – Featuring Heather Mamatey
• Fear, Exposed – Featuring Caroline McGraw
• Fear, Exposed – Featuring Jenny Foss, Part Deux

Tags: corporate recruiting, facing your fears, fear exposed, jobhuntchat, rich dematteo