Dear World: I Think I Gaslit Myself Into Productivity

I’m Ash, and I’m a writer, traveler, nonconformist & nomad, and every week I’m sharing funny field notes from around the world. Currently, I’m in America writing about what it’s been like to return home to my small town, twenty years after living abroad.

Most people think they’re guilty of “overthinking,” but you know what I really think we’re guilty of?

Overdramatizing.

You know what I did last night?

I hung THE FREAKING WALLPAPER.

Wallpaper that I have had for 1.5 years.

Wallpaper that I LOVE WITH ALL MY STINKY, WANNABE BRITISH HEART. (This one.)

But, you know why it took me so long to finish the room??? Because I had convinced myself that:

• I can’t hang wallpaper any other time than first thing in the morning, because first thing in the morning is when I’m fresh, and otherwise I will transform into Beetlejuice in that one scene where his head spins in 360-degree rotations and he’s screaming and that is EXACTLY what my inner landscape does when it’s late and I am cranky
• BUT—I can’t hang wallpaper first thing in the morning, because that is my best writing time! And I am a writer! First thing in the morning is for WRITING. (Not the other “W” word).
• Plus, I’d have to prime the walls first. I didn’t prime the walls yet! And, I must prime the walls because when the moment comes that I finally am just OVER THE WALLPAPER, it needs to be easy to strip. Yes, there is such a thing: wallpaper can be easy to strip, nowadays. When you use wallpaper primer! Except, it’s very, very hard to muster the energy to first prime every inch of the walls before you can even begin. So many steps! Must eat pizza, instead.
• See also: I have to move everything in the room first.
• See ALSO ALSO: I’d need help moving that one table that is way too heavy.
• See ALSO ALSO ALSO: I’m so out of shape. Maybe if I were getting ON MY PELOTON and doing my BURPEES and not EATING PIZZA, I’d be able to move the table myself.
• See ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO: The morning is the only time I feel fresh enough to workout (hmmmm, I’m sensing a pattern here 🤔), but I’m already too busy WRITING and HANGING WALLPAPER.

….And then when I finally summoned my determination and decided to look the wallpaper demons in the face?

I discovered I was out of glue.

So I ate a handful of command strips for dinner and called it a night.

JUST KIDDING.

I actually did have glue! And, I actually did hang the wallpaper! You know why?

Because I was sitting here waiting for the plumber (who never showed), and you know when you’re sitting around waiting for someone, you can’t do anything else? Like, the mental energy it is taking just anticipating THE MOMENT THEY PULL IN THE DRIVEWAY—you’re paralyzed! Can’t work on the laptop. Can’t get into a project. Can’t paint your toenails. Can’t make soup, start a cult, or emotionally recover from middle school. And you definitely can’t practice your British accent in case they accidentally hear you.

But then they don’t show, and you feel cheated.

Your house has been cheated!

And now you must remedy this any way possible.

You cannot install a new toilet and bolt a new sink to the wall and replace the old copper pipes with PEX tubing yourself…

….but you know what you could do that might be easier?

You could pull out the fucking wallpaper, you mentally constipated gremlin.

And this is how I stopped overdramatizing, and just took out a roll and *started*.

You know what this reminds me of?

Price anchoring. (Bear with me. I promise this makes sense.)

Price anchoring is when you walk into a restaurant, for example, and sit down and you’re looking at the menu and the most expensive wines are at the top. (On purpose.) So, the first one you see? Is the most expensive. It might look something like this:

🍷 Chez Manipulation Wine List

1. Château du Moneyburn 1997 – $595
An “exclusive” vintage that’s been aging longer than your student loans. No one is actually ordering this. It exists solely to make everything below it look like a bargain.

2. Domaine Pretentious Reserve 2015 – $225
Pairs well with hubris and venture capitalists.

3. Whispering Duck Pinot Noir – $118
Still ridiculous, but after seeing the top two, you suddenly feel like you’re saving money.

4. Broken Marriage Merlot – $58
Exactly the same wine your friend brought to dinner last week, but now it feels like a deal because your brain’s been anchored by the $595 option. You’ll order this one and feel fiscally responsible.

5. Dumpster Punch House Red – $34
Honestly fine. But your pride won’t let you be the “$34 wine” person after glancing at that $595 Château.

Price anchoring is when the first price someone sees sets their mental baseline for what’s “normal” or “reasonable.”

So if I show you a $100,000 coaching package, and then tell you there’s a $5,000 option—suddenly, that cheaper one feels like a steal. (Even if it’s not.)

This is because human beings *never* evaluate prices in isolation—they compare them to what came before. Brands use this all the time with tiers: “Basic / Pro / Elite” or “Regular / Premium / Absurdly Overpriced So the Middle One Looks Sensible.”

AND SO MY POINT:

Contemplating all of the *hard work* involved in the plumbing, and how I can’t do that myself, and how it’s kind of THE BIG, UNKNOWABLE STUFF, suddenly made my wallpaper project completely doable and easy and approachable.

Because in comparison, it is. :)

And, you know what the funniest part is?

Once I got into it, it was a delight. And actually fun! I made so much progress, and it looks fan-fucking-tastic. Because I got out of my own way and just started.

So, maybe the key to life (or at least doing the things we swear we want to do, but don’t) is by completely overwhelming yourself with the idea of tackling something even worse. 🤣

Oh, you don’t want to answer your emails? TRY MAKING A SPREADSHEET.
Oh, you don’t want to make a spreadsheet? REWIRE YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE.
Oh, you don’t want to do that either? BUILD THE PYRAMIDS. BY HAND. WITH A BUTTER KNIFE.
Oh, you don’t want to do that? LEARN TAX LAW. IN LATIN.
Oh, you don’t want to do that? SOLVE CLIMATE CHANGE, YOU GELATINOUS SLUG.
Oh, you don’t want to do that? FINALLY ORGANIZE YOUR JUNK DRAWER.
Oh, you don’t want to do that? CALL COMCAST.

I mean, I’m no psychologist, but whatever works! 🤣

In the meantime, I will be over here pondering THE DOORS OF DOOM and how Andersen windows and their super high prices definitely do other competitors like Window World a huge favor (with price anchoring!):

“Well, I was going to spend $12,000 for a door, but then I got a quote from Window World and it was only $6,000!”

Before, $6K was a lot.

But now, Andersen anchored their ass.

And now?

$6,000 sounds like a steal.

Oh, self-delusion—my favorite coping mechanism of all. 🥂

Some people find God. Others find reasonable door quotes.

Personally, I think inner peace is just what happens when you finally run out of excuses—and realize the work was never the problem.

The waiting was.