The "Don't Eat Bread Like a Heathen" Edition

30-Second Skill: How to Eat Bread in France Without Looking Like a Heathen (Yup, There's a Rule—DO NOT BREAK)

Picture an Outback Steakhouse. (Oh god, maybe don't.)

Okay, fine. Picture an upscale steakhouse. In the bougie section of town. You know the bread board you'll inevitably get? With the piping hot loaf and some fancy infused rosemary - thyme - placenta of an ancient animal butter? And then the giant serrated knife, which you will inevitably use to cut yourself the largest fathomable hunk without anybody noticing???

Well, don't do this in France. Don't you dare even think about cutting it. Or biting into it. Or spreading butter all over it. You won't get butter on the side, anyhow, and then you'll have to ask for it like a real American tart. (Which is problematic in its own right, because the word for butter in French, "beurre," is TRAGICALLY EMBARRASSING to pronounce.)

Turns out, there is breadiquette in France:

1. The polite way to eat bread at a table or restaurant is to rip it with your fingers. There's even an old French idiom that translates to "you don't cut bread, you break bread (idiot)." The idiot is implied in the tone.
2. You don't spread butter on it like a excitable monster, even though the butter in France is de-licious and you'll really want to.
3. The bread is actually supposed to sit on the tablecloth: it doesn't go on a plate, believe it or not.
4. And, finally: don’t eat the bread before your order arrives. It isn’t an appetizer. It’s supposed to accompany your entrée. 🤣 WHO KNEW?

Reports from those who have dared to enter French homes state that the French often use their bread as a "plate mop": for soaking up the sauces, vinaigrettes, and tears of their enemies. But, it's considered bad manners in public....so maybe shy away from bulldozing that baguette straight down your gullet.

Or just buy the baguette and bring it to a beach and hide under a really big towel tent and THEN DO ALL THE BAD THINGS.

Nomad Business Idea to Steal 👀

This past week, there's been a glaring trend in the publishing world: everyone wants a "do-over."

It's hitting a cultural nerve, this idea of "if you could go back in time and re-do your life, what would you change???"

Just look at how many book deals are happening right now around this SAME THEME (it's actually creepy).

The Midnight Library obviously came before these and is the Mack Daddy of this theme—every book in the library contains a different version of your life, had you made different decisions—and it blew up. Became an instant bestseller. New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Amazon, USA Today.

It wasn't the writing, it was the concept. Everyone questions their decisions in life—and maybe now more than ever. The internet has made us full of comparisonitis. Should I be in Greece right now, instead of where I am? Should I have followed my passion when I was young? Should I have run off to Italy with that boy? Should I have gotten that divorce?

These books are gaining popularity because they're a reflection of our thoughts; they allow us a safe space to want for something other than the life we have. (Even if we "should be grateful.")

So, it's worth considering: how can you tap into this with your own business?

• If you're a realtor, can you "show" people different versions of their lives, should they choose Home A, B, or C? (I could see this being a really fun marketing campaign.)
• If you're a photographer, could you offer "seven lives" sessions, where you get to try on different versions of yourself: the good girl who stayed in Minnesota; the high-powered magazine editor in New York; the non-profit director working in Uganda; the stay-at-home mom in Connecticut; the artist working out of her studio in Vermont. This is a fun exploration of reality that does it in a new and interesting way. (Who says photography is only headshots, weddings, and boudoir???)
• If you're a copywriter, could you offer a service where you write different "realities" for each business, each with different brand positioning and main messaging...and then A/B test the results?
• If you're a career strategist, could you develop a service that facilitates a "day-in-the-life" job shadowing for adults contemplating a career transition? A "try it before you buy it" approach?

Believe it or not, this all taps into why digital nomading is booming: not only are we more mobile than ever, but the idea of "trying on a new life" is more popular than ever.

Ask Viv: "I Bartered Services With Someone Else, But They're Not Holding Up Their End of the Bargain!"

First of all, isn't the word "barter" a warning sign in and of itself?

It screams "needy person who probably needs therapy but instead they'll take all their rage out on me in three months when this arrangement ends and they're mad they didn't get 'the value'....or some other third circle of hell."

But, I get it. You're probably a nice person. You're probably an optimist. You've probably never bartered with anyone before (or put flaming hot pokers into your eyes).

So, let's go over the ground rules, should you decide to proceed:

1. You should have an agreement in writing, even though you're not going to do that.
2. Because you're not going to do that—you know, since this is "informal" and you guys are "friends"—then what you need to do is send an email after this great idea has exploded into both of your brains, and put the terms in writing.
3. You say: "Hi! Per our phone convo from 8/5, here's what we agreed: X, Y, Z. Here's what I agreed to do, and here's what you agreed to do, and here's the timeline we agreed to do it on. Kindly reply to confirm this is your understanding as well, and then let's get started!"
4. An email is a legally binding contract if no other contract is present—but the other person needs to reply. (You can't just send it and receive no response.)
5. It's still not a substitute for a real agreement, since you won't have contingency plan for things like: I'm not liable in case I totally screw up your business; here's what happens if there's a disagreement over the quality; here's what happens if you drop off the face of the earth...and all of those fun adventures.
6. I am not a lawyer but I AM someone who has been in online business since before Instagram existed, so there's my big fat disclaimer.

P.S. Did You Know?

Lemon Juice in Your Coffee? In some places in Italy, they squeeze lemon into your espresso. Real ballers include the peel. Legend has it that after the Second World War, Italians were forced to consume cheap instant coffee—and they may have added lemon to conceal the bitterness. (Apparently the acidity of the lemon and the bitterness of espresso balance one another out...and now how can we possibly go on with our weekend without first experimenting with this concoction of joy?!)