You ever go to write an email to your list (or your imaginary list, lol) and suddenly you turn into the world's biggest sack?
I know. Great visual.
But, it's sooooooooo true: you ever have that happen?
You sit down to write an email that's fun, that's real, that will "help you connect with your audience," but suddenly your butt clenches up, and your throat goes dry, and you suddenly transform into a geriatric biophysicist in a brown tweed coat, tobacco pipe in mouth, getting ready to read from a textbook at Oxford, while on dialysis????????
(To be fair, I wouldn't mind being a biophysicist in Oxford. But, homie ain't writing exciting emails.)
I call this: textbook mouth.
And, it's the #1 thing that will make literally nobody care about your messages. 🔪
*shhhk!*
^That's the sound of your email getting stabbed in the subject line. Ouch.
It's so super common to sit down and basically write the equivalent of a term paper. Or a Wikipedia entry. Or something—please stomp on my toe when I say this—"professional."
But, the need to sound "professional" (we've been brainwashed into this) is literally making it impossible for you to sound SMART.
Because, in modern-day communications?
A "professional" voice register no longer sounds intelligent.
It sounds antiquated.
OH MY GOD, THE TRUTHHHHHHHHH! THERE IT ISSSSSS! IT HURTSSSS!
But, think about it: these days, doesn't corporate culture feel antiquated? The 9-5? The boardroom? The polyester roles people played?
This was a novel idea in 2009, when I first started writing The Middle Finger Project; that maybe the shape of work could be different. That maybe corporations didn't have our best interests in mind. And that maybe the "corporate world" as an institution was on its way out.
I was right. There's been one hell of a shift over the last twenty years. Mainstream is just catching up, a la "creator." A lot of us have been "creators" online since forever ago: there was just never a name for it until now.
ANYWAY.
Everything about corporate culture feels entirely archaic, like watching an episode of Mad Men where Peggy gets reprimanded for wearing pants.
So, when you carry that corporate language over?
And you carry it tight to your bosom, like an old milk jug?
And you still default to saying things like "I wanted to reach out and see if you might be interested in exploring this opportunity further. Please let me know if you'd like to discuss."
You don't sound professional.
You sound like a fossil.
And it can be really hard to make those come to life. 🤣
So, what's the solution if you've got dinosaur textbook tweed mouth?
Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura! (Duh.)
Who really is my friend in real life, LOL. And fellow email nerd. And fellow creative writer.
Laura's going live today at 1:00pm ET / 10:00am PT to show you her BEST tricks (they are good) for writing an email that sings with personality and makes people love you and gets you out of "textbook town," and generates lots of cash money honey—all from writing emails that actually sound human.
It's free to attend, and I'll be there in the chat, too!
Enter your email to get notified when Laura teaches live today >>>
She is no B.S.
And, she is one of my favorite people.
(Though we send more audio messages to one another than emails, hahahahha.)
Alright! That's my email pep talk for the day. 😜
But, don't worry, the fun isn't over yet: My Summer Email Challenge has yet to begin, muahahahahahah! So, make sure you're signed up to that, too, if you also want to learn how to send smart, systematic, pre-scheduled emails that sell your stuff on autopilot. (Because you shouldn't be the bottleneck to your business. Set it up once, enjoy sales forever.)
XOXO,
Ashhhhhhhhh
P.S. Laura gave me an affiliate tracking link to share here, so she'll know you came from me, yay. Which also means if you buy anything from her in the future, she will send me some bones as a thank-you. 💛
P.P.S. They won't be real bones. But, that does go with our fossil theme!