Big, Fat, Orangutan-Sized Egg Noodles

Yesterday I dropped boiling hot noodles on my foot.

They were big, fat, orangutan-size egg noodles, which—for the record—belong right up there with steaks, foot rubs, and Matteo Berrettini's facial scruff (8th wonder of the world).

Egg noodles do not get the credit they deserve. They're basically miniature magic carpets, all flying into your mouth at a rapid rate, carrying the 9th wonder of the world: BUTTER.

Why are we even debating it.

Bring me a napkin.

You need a lot of napkins when you eat egg noodles. They are floppy. Like my soul.

Today I have a blister the size of Kansas, but do you think that's going to stop me from getting on here and sending you an email??? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Because, we have important things to discuss. Namely, what's everybody doing about their businesses? Have you felt business drop? Everyone is talking about business dropping, and it's freaking everyone else out, and every conversation I keep seeing is about how sales are non-existent and slow and dried up like a tumbleweed in a trailer park in Arizona.

Soooooooooooooo——————

Obviously there are a lot of stupid stupid stupid men global factors.

But, there are also lots of ways you can insulate yourself from price sensitivity. And, we're going to talk about it. I HAVE IDEAS.

Keep your eyes peeled for my next mail-io!

In the meantime, I'll be over here ordering pizza, LOL. And collectibles of Berrettini.

XO,
Ash

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    From Penguin Random House author Ash Ambirge · 25,000+ smart readers

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