Way to leave us with blue balls. Did you install the Tushy or not? I am NOT lying on the floor beside any toilet, ever, especially in a house with THREE penises. Do you know how they pee? Not INTO the toilet. You think it would be easy to aim with those things, but noooooo. Also, I have a lot of questions about the sanitary maintenance of the bidet itself. Is it spraying the backwash of other butts onto my butt? My blood on their balls? If they've answered THAT question in the FAQs, I'll buy two right now.
OKAY, I'm in love with her. YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. (And, excellent question. Perhaps the smell of my insanity is too pungent for their brand. Smells better than toilet, though. BRB—sending them a shameless email to inquire.)
well, now I'm CACKLING uncontrollably (in a very bougie cafe, mind you) - so thank you for that, Ash. (No, seriously - thank you. I needed this one...SO MUCH.)
I hope you get it installed. Sounds frustrating. You could always call a plumber or as someone else suggested, maybe you need a new toilet (assuming you didn't already replace when you moved in). Thanks for this. I just told my hubby I'm ordering one. Keep us posted.
Oh, you MUST tell us how you like it!!! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Seriously, B. I can't wait for THAT comment. 😂
(And I definitely do need a new toilet. One time, in an Airbnb, they had some kind of super power flush, and it was the most fun thing ever. Could have sucked me right down there! And obviously, I should have one.)
For some reason, I had visions of the dad from A Christmas Story in my head as you were describing the Tushy shenanigans. Nothing ever went quite right for him. 😂 I skipped the Tushy and got a King Bidet. There's a remote, heated seat, warm water... you can change the level of pressure and even where it's aimed. It has a dryer, too. 🤯 It's my favorite home appliance. Here's to hillbillies that like clean butts! 🙌🏼
Yes, Ash. Yes, you absolutely DO need a Tushy. One of my kids kept asking for a bidet and I thought he was out of his mind. And then guess what we bought him for his 21st birthday. 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
And yes, he installed it, and yes, it was, shall we say, incompatible with the configuration of things, but we overcame! (Our issue was the seat, not the hose.) Anyway...
I applaud and relate to your newly found comfort with yourself. 🩷 🥂
I suspect I'm turning into some new species of snake because I keep feeling layers of my old skin - a too-tight-holy-crap-who-the-hell-thought-Spanx-were-a-good-idea one - sloughing off and being left behind. I may or may not be leaving a trail behind me. I don't know. I'm more curious about what's in front of me to look back. 💗 💗 💗 💗
Oh my god - my daughter just moved home again (at 25 years old), and she's proclaiming we are child abusers for making her use an unheated toilet seat. Maybe she needs a Tushy.
lol, Ash! For a little while growing up, I think I was about 8, weeks lived in a weird little house that had a bathroom with a blue toilet and right next to it was what my siblings and I called ‘the second toilet’. We knew water 💦 squirted out of it, but otherwise was at a total loss as to why anyone would use it! 😂😂
Now in my old age, my knees are killing me, and I’m getting ready to upgrade all my toilets to ‘comfort height’ and you have convinced me to look into a ‘tushy’. I’m hoping I can buy a toilet with one already installed, along with a seat warmer as others have sung the praises of having.
Gawd, the things I never thought I would appreciate owning!!! 🚽😏
Haaaahahahahaaaaa! There are just some things in life that make daily living SO much sweeter. This is definitely one of them. You need to look into the power flush, too! Had it at an Airbnb and it was SO MUCH FUN. 😂
Am I the ONLY one who cares less about the Tushy and more about Ash in overalls with a long piece of wheat hanging from her mouth while she sits on her porch with a shotgun?
Oh, to be the age I was when I learned to NEVER use a wrench on a toilet. Do NOT use a wrench on a toilet. Do NOT use a wrench on a toilet.
Do NOT use a wrench on the nuts under the little nobbies that hide where it's attached to the floor.
Do NOT use a wrench to tighten the little flushy handle attached to the tank.
Do NOT use a wrench on a toilet.
I almost repeated myself again on this line of text, but I dug deep into my bank of willpower, which is almost always in the red, and I stopped myself.
DO NOT USE A WRENCH ON A TOILET!
!! ! !!! !! ! !!! (do not)
Almost anything you want to manipulate, toilet-related, is designed to be "finger tight." Sounds pretty great in quotations... but, unfortunately, that's not what it means. Otherwise, I might have busted my first busted toilet even earlier in life than I did. (oh, to be young again!)
If it requires more "umph" than you can apply WITH YOUR FINGERS to remove it, call someone with the foresight to learn a valuable trade doing things most of us, honestly, don't even want to know the details of... and bless them for it!!!!
Let the professionals handle the job! And give them the opportunity to tell everyone they know about the day they installed the "Tushy" at the farm house... "Yeah!!!! THAT farm house! The one with the front door that's the PERFECT shade of red... No, not the other one.... THE PERFECT SHADE OF RED... Yeah, the one where that Costa Rican chick we went to high school with lives."
BAAHAHAHAH!!! So wait, you're saying I shouldn't use a wrench on the toilet?!?!?!? 😂 This cracked me up. And so did your reference to THE OTHER HOUSE WITH THE OTHER RED DOOR. Haaahahahahah!!!!!!! See, now this is what I'm talking about: I write about all of the dumb things I do, and then I weasel out all the good advice from my readers. I LOVE THIS GAME.
I TOTALLY DID BUY THE TRAVEL TUSHY TOO!!!! JUST NOW WHEN I ORDERED THE HOSE! Currently using as a replacement until I get the real tush master situated.
I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS TUSHY OBSESSION AND NO I WILL NOT STOP USING THESE CAPS
2: add a heated toilet seat ahhh nothing like it in the winter even here in California. I housesit for someone that has a bidet with a heated seat, and can I just say...Wow, very satisfying first thing in the chilly morning.
They did just come out with a toilet seat version, and now I'm having major FOMO—especially after your comment! I remember staying in a gorgeous Airbnb in London that had heated marble floors in the bathroom and I went in there all the time JUST TO BOUG IT UP.
Way to leave us with blue balls. Did you install the Tushy or not? I am NOT lying on the floor beside any toilet, ever, especially in a house with THREE penises. Do you know how they pee? Not INTO the toilet. You think it would be easy to aim with those things, but noooooo. Also, I have a lot of questions about the sanitary maintenance of the bidet itself. Is it spraying the backwash of other butts onto my butt? My blood on their balls? If they've answered THAT question in the FAQs, I'll buy two right now.
You would LOVE one of the copywriters for Tushy!!!!! You and her would be BFF. (And also why are you not writing for Tushy. I DEMAND ANSWERS.)
This is her! https://morganmoran.com/
OKAY, I'm in love with her. YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. (And, excellent question. Perhaps the smell of my insanity is too pungent for their brand. Smells better than toilet, though. BRB—sending them a shameless email to inquire.)
😂
well, now I'm CACKLING uncontrollably (in a very bougie cafe, mind you) - so thank you for that, Ash. (No, seriously - thank you. I needed this one...SO MUCH.)
I hope you get it installed. Sounds frustrating. You could always call a plumber or as someone else suggested, maybe you need a new toilet (assuming you didn't already replace when you moved in). Thanks for this. I just told my hubby I'm ordering one. Keep us posted.
Oh, you MUST tell us how you like it!!! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Seriously, B. I can't wait for THAT comment. 😂
(And I definitely do need a new toilet. One time, in an Airbnb, they had some kind of super power flush, and it was the most fun thing ever. Could have sucked me right down there! And obviously, I should have one.)
For some reason, I had visions of the dad from A Christmas Story in my head as you were describing the Tushy shenanigans. Nothing ever went quite right for him. 😂 I skipped the Tushy and got a King Bidet. There's a remote, heated seat, warm water... you can change the level of pressure and even where it's aimed. It has a dryer, too. 🤯 It's my favorite home appliance. Here's to hillbillies that like clean butts! 🙌🏼
OOOOooo!! A new brand of bidet I must research and obsess over!!! Had not heard of THE KING until now.
Yes, Ash. Yes, you absolutely DO need a Tushy. One of my kids kept asking for a bidet and I thought he was out of his mind. And then guess what we bought him for his 21st birthday. 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
And yes, he installed it, and yes, it was, shall we say, incompatible with the configuration of things, but we overcame! (Our issue was the seat, not the hose.) Anyway...
I applaud and relate to your newly found comfort with yourself. 🩷 🥂
I suspect I'm turning into some new species of snake because I keep feeling layers of my old skin - a too-tight-holy-crap-who-the-hell-thought-Spanx-were-a-good-idea one - sloughing off and being left behind. I may or may not be leaving a trail behind me. I don't know. I'm more curious about what's in front of me to look back. 💗 💗 💗 💗
I can't believe he's 21 and wanted one! BAHAHA I would have been WAY too embarrassed at that age! (Did you also see the poop stools?! 😂)
Tushy is a gateway bidet. We have one and there is no going back. And I want an upgrade with a heated seat. Spoiled. Rotten. Yes.
GATEWAY BIDET HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Oh man… no comments but this news came out a few days ago and you were the first person I thought of. From Iowa with 🤍 https://www.the-sun.com/money/10134521/kum-and-go-convenience-store-chain-loses-name-maverik/
some locals are mad about it. I’m happy.
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BIGGEST NEWS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I actually love the Maverick name. Well played, midwest. Well played!!!!!
Oh my god - my daughter just moved home again (at 25 years old), and she's proclaiming we are child abusers for making her use an unheated toilet seat. Maybe she needs a Tushy.
Where was she living before?! 😂
lol, Ash! For a little while growing up, I think I was about 8, weeks lived in a weird little house that had a bathroom with a blue toilet and right next to it was what my siblings and I called ‘the second toilet’. We knew water 💦 squirted out of it, but otherwise was at a total loss as to why anyone would use it! 😂😂
Now in my old age, my knees are killing me, and I’m getting ready to upgrade all my toilets to ‘comfort height’ and you have convinced me to look into a ‘tushy’. I’m hoping I can buy a toilet with one already installed, along with a seat warmer as others have sung the praises of having.
Gawd, the things I never thought I would appreciate owning!!! 🚽😏
Haaaahahahahaaaaa! There are just some things in life that make daily living SO much sweeter. This is definitely one of them. You need to look into the power flush, too! Had it at an Airbnb and it was SO MUCH FUN. 😂
Do I wanna know what that is???! 😳😂😂😂
Am I the ONLY one who cares less about the Tushy and more about Ash in overalls with a long piece of wheat hanging from her mouth while she sits on her porch with a shotgun?
The real question is: WHO WILL PLAY ME IN THE MOVIE
Reese Witherspoon does wild pretty well 😁
Dear Ash:
Oh, to be the age I was when I learned to NEVER use a wrench on a toilet. Do NOT use a wrench on a toilet. Do NOT use a wrench on a toilet.
Do NOT use a wrench on the nuts under the little nobbies that hide where it's attached to the floor.
Do NOT use a wrench to tighten the little flushy handle attached to the tank.
Do NOT use a wrench on a toilet.
I almost repeated myself again on this line of text, but I dug deep into my bank of willpower, which is almost always in the red, and I stopped myself.
DO NOT USE A WRENCH ON A TOILET!
!! ! !!! !! ! !!! (do not)
Almost anything you want to manipulate, toilet-related, is designed to be "finger tight." Sounds pretty great in quotations... but, unfortunately, that's not what it means. Otherwise, I might have busted my first busted toilet even earlier in life than I did. (oh, to be young again!)
If it requires more "umph" than you can apply WITH YOUR FINGERS to remove it, call someone with the foresight to learn a valuable trade doing things most of us, honestly, don't even want to know the details of... and bless them for it!!!!
Let the professionals handle the job! And give them the opportunity to tell everyone they know about the day they installed the "Tushy" at the farm house... "Yeah!!!! THAT farm house! The one with the front door that's the PERFECT shade of red... No, not the other one.... THE PERFECT SHADE OF RED... Yeah, the one where that Costa Rican chick we went to high school with lives."
BAAHAHAHAH!!! So wait, you're saying I shouldn't use a wrench on the toilet?!?!?!? 😂 This cracked me up. And so did your reference to THE OTHER HOUSE WITH THE OTHER RED DOOR. Haaahahahahah!!!!!!! See, now this is what I'm talking about: I write about all of the dumb things I do, and then I weasel out all the good advice from my readers. I LOVE THIS GAME.
Finger tight is tight enough. No wrench required. 😜
My instant, childish response to this comment? "That's what she said."
Damn right, she did! hahahaha!
I would rather be constipated like an elephant with no fiber intake than poop without my tushy!!!! 😂😂😂
Did you buy the travel tushy too?? My greatest fear is that I'll travel without my travel tushy, my retainer, and thyroid meds, in that order. 😂😂
Pls update us once you've gotten your new 3.0 tushy working because you simply CANNOT let that toilet take away your bumhole bliss, okay???
We believe in you.
I TOTALLY DID BUY THE TRAVEL TUSHY TOO!!!! JUST NOW WHEN I ORDERED THE HOSE! Currently using as a replacement until I get the real tush master situated.
I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS TUSHY OBSESSION AND NO I WILL NOT STOP USING THESE CAPS
Two ideas for your tushy:
1: New toilet so your tushy will fit. and or 2
2: add a heated toilet seat ahhh nothing like it in the winter even here in California. I housesit for someone that has a bidet with a heated seat, and can I just say...Wow, very satisfying first thing in the chilly morning.
They did just come out with a toilet seat version, and now I'm having major FOMO—especially after your comment! I remember staying in a gorgeous Airbnb in London that had heated marble floors in the bathroom and I went in there all the time JUST TO BOUG IT UP.