The Crowbar Writing Workshop
Learn how to write online with spunk, guts & gravitas—and finally show the **** UP.
A fearless course for writing magnetic, gutsy, brave, jawbreaking content online (so you can stop settling and do what you were meant to do).
Write spunky, life-changing newsletters, emails, columns, posts, essays & ideas that make 'em want you. Hard.
THE CROWBAR WRITING WORKSHOP is a fearless writing workshop that teaches you how to (finally) show up online and share your ideas in a big, bold, brave new way—and start writing the kind of newsletters, emails, columns, posts, essays, and ideas that cement your voice as unforgettable in your industry.
Because not having enough guts in your writing is the only thing stopping you from being lethal.
Changing the trajectory of your life forever.
What if you could write the kinds of things that would make strangers remember you like their first kiss?
What if you could take the electric storm inside your chest and plug it straight into another human being?
What if you could write the kinds of things that leave someone punch-drunk, nerve-jacked, and spellbound like they just bit down on a comet? (Though, fair warning, dental insurance does not cover intergalactic rock chomping.)
What if you could write a sentence that feels like home to someone who has never found one?
What if you could rearrange someone's insides with nothing more than twenty-six letters?
What if you could smuggle ideas past someone's defenses like a thief in the night—and they thank you for it?
What if you could build entire worlds, entire empires, entire legacies, using nothing more than this strange little written code?
What if you could make a reader forget, for one sacred moment, that they are mortal?
What if you could write the kinds of things that could make someone absurdly, deliriously, irrationally blood-mindedly hypnotized?
And…what if you could do all of this while building a fierce body of work that not only pays the bills but builds real wealth, real freedom, and a reputation that belongs entirely to you. No gatekeepers. No permission slips. No one to impress but yourself. Just you, your words, and an internet connection—the most powerful printing press the world has ever known.
Could it change your career, your money, and your life, forever?
You bet your keyboard it can.
Your writing only has one job, and that's to hit 'em in the face with a crowbar
Now, THAT IS A LITTLE VIOLENT, HAHA.
But, it comes from a line I used to say when being interviewed about my irreverent style of writing:
“Your job is to hit 'em in the face with a crowbar.”
And, it's wickedly true: this is your job as a person who is here with us, on this weird little internet island, trying to make your mark, or make your living, or make an impact, or make it rain. 💰💸
You cannot do this without strong, sharp, magnetic writing that compels people to say “oh my GUGGING GUDDDDD, I'm having a SEIZURE over what this person is doing over here.” (Which is the highest compliment available on the internet, second only to an unhinged comment in ALL CAPS.)
Whether it's:
This is the work to be done.
To make yourself unmissable, undeniable; to rip the hinges off the doors of your industry and strut right through; to crank out work so sharp it could cut glass; to look at your own newsletter, your own posts, your own essays, your own articles, and feel a pride that steadies you, that roots you; a pride so real it almost hurts, because it feels like finally meeting yourself on the page.
When you own your words, we believe you.
It changes everything—how you show up, how boldly you sell, how proud you feel putting your work into the world. It shifts how you share an offer, how excited you are to take up space, to be seen, to fling the doors wide open and invite people straight into your brain, your world, your story.
Great internet writing is the difference between shrinking in with a half-apology, and showing up with that big, magnetic, irresistible energy ⚡️ that makes people want to lean closer.
When you have the words? You don't just have an audience. You have leverage. You have freedom. You have the world.
Because if your words storm the world, so do you.
Weak sentences don't just fail to represent you—they erase you.
They're an existential betrayal.
They're self-sabotage under the disguise of “professionalism”: they tell the world you're smaller than you are.
Weak sentences don't just undersell you—they tell the wrong story, a lesser story, and the world believes it.
Words are proxies for your presence. And weak words are like sending a cardboard cutout to a dinner party and expecting anyone to remember you were there.
Or trying to roar, but coming out with a teeny, tiny little wheezy cough.
Or like whispering your name into a hurricane.
You need to be the hurricane.
Here's the delicious news: You can write brilliant. Spunky. Neon. Unmissable. Words.
It's a skill you can ✨learn✨—and have fun doing it. Which is why this is the most useful skill-building workshop on the internet: you'll use it to continually edit the direction of your life in your favor, forever.
Imagine all of the extra wealth, stability, and peace of mind you can build over the course of your lifetime, just from knowing how to write things people crave? Imagine the additional income and opportunities you can create for yourself, with your own two hands? Imagine if sales weren't hard anymore, and money flowed easily, and everybody was overjoyed to give you their hard-earned money, because they are intoxicated by your vibe, your ideas, and the way you electrify their inbox?
There are few other things that can give you this kind of investment. Because, it's an investment in your own earning power—without ever needing someone to make you a job offer again.
When you learn how to write with guts, spunk, and power, you stop whispering in hurricanes—you become the weather.
That's what THE CROWBAR WORKSHOP is here to do: To give you the skills, the practice, and the spunky, fearless framework for writing words that don't just exist on the internet, but electrify it.
Because when you learn to wield your words like this, you don't just get attention. You get traction. You get trust. You get paid.
And that's when everything changes.
The four crowbars of big, spunky, profound writing
Go over-the-shoulder with Ash—Penguin Random House author, seventeen years of essays that made a career—through the moves that turn competent writing into can't-look-away writing. No theory. Real essays and newsletters, taken apart so you can see exactly why they work, then rebuilt in your own voice with a writing assignment that puts the move into your hands the same day.
💡 Workshop No. 1—Finding Extraordinary in the Ordinary
Where the great material actually lives (hint: not in “inspiration”). Train your eye to find the essay hiding in your Tuesday—the grocery line, the client call, the thing your kid said—so you never stare at a blank page wondering “what should I write about?” again.
💥 Workshop No. 2—The Swerve Writing Technique
Here, I'm going to teach you the #1 most fundamental principle of THE CROWBAR METHOD: How to Swerve With Your Writing. We'll study how to catch people off guard with your words and instantly light their brain on fire. Because if the human brain thinks it knows what you're going to say? It's programmed to save energy and skip over it. You cannot be skippable.
This isn't just about a “hook,” as you're probably familiar: rather, this is about learning how to break patterns, defy expectations, and slip in sharp left turns all the way throughout the page, making a reader excited—thrilled—to see what you're going to say next. Like you're taking them on a rollercoaster ride, except every turn reveals a truth they didn't know they were looking for, every drop knocks the air from their lungs, and by the time the ride ends, they're not the same person who got on.
That's what keeps them strapped in. That's what keeps them reading. There must be tension, and there must be thrill. I'm going to show you how to incorporate both of these things.
🎉 Workshop No. 3—The Snap Writing Technique
One of the most underused techniques in the world (that all brilliant writers do). I call this “Snap” because as we work our way down the page, we will inevitably start to get lazy. We will start to use cliché, tired phrasing. And we will totally underestimate how damning this is for everything. So? Time to snap out of it—and ADD some snap to your words.
In this module, I'm going to teach you maybe my FAVORITE technique for keeping your writing crisp, alive, effervescent, and interesting. (Even if you happen to feel like a bag of moldy donuts.) This technique is one you can use anywhere, anytime, on anything you're writing—but it is particularly effective at keeping one's attention, once you've managed to earn it. We must not just write; we must make our words cinematic—and that's what makes them addictive to read.
💪 Workshop No. 4—The Shift Writing Technique
All brilliant writing accomplishes something very specific for the reader that isn't always obvious. It's not about conveying information, or offering up ideas, or sharing a day in the life. Rather, all brilliant writing offers a gift to the reader, and that gift? Is the gift of a new lens.
Inside of this module, I'll teach you how to shift your reader's perspective, reframing ordinary points into powerful, megawatt punches. It's the skill of taking what everyone else is saying—and tilting the lens so your version feels brand new. Shift is how you turn clichés into revelations, how you get people to nod, laugh, or gasp in recognition. Instead of adding to the noise, you'll cut through it by making people see the world differently—through your eyes.
And, it's one of the most important skills any writer could have. Because it's not just about hitting 'em across the face with a crowbar *curtsies*: it's about giving them one of their own.
🔥 Workshop No. 5—The Sear Writing Technique
Sear makes sure your message doesn't just land—it lingers, burned into memory, offering a satisfying payoff that feels profound and complete.
This is the art of crafting closings that stick, lines that echo in someone's head for days, words that become quotable. With Sear, your writing won't fizzle out and feel like a movie with a disappointing ending; it'll brand itself on your reader's brain, making you the person they remember when they need the very thing you offer. It's how you go from “a good read” to “holy sh*t, I'll never forget that.” And, it's the final and ultimate gift you must give to your reader: the gift of a satisfying payoff.
And no brilliant writing can ever be complete without it.
📝 The Crowbar Writing Rubric & Guide
The downloadable rubric for analyzing your own writing (and everyone else's)—so you can diagnose exactly which move a limp draft is missing, forever.
🎙 The Crowbar LIVE Q&A Call and Review
The recorded live session: real student writing, reviewed and rebuilt in real time—watch the moves applied to work-in-progress, which is where they truly click.
Do anything you want with brilliant f**king writing
How it works
The Crowbar Writing Workshop is an on-demand video course, available to watch anytime. This is a fundamental writing course that you can use to instantly elevate your writing in a matter of hours, anytime you want to cozy up with a cup of coffee and a notebook.
Purchase now and get immediate access to the course! You'll get your log-in right away to your email, where you can jump right into the first lesson. 🎉
You'll have lifetime access to go through it again and again. Anytime you need to find your voice again on the page. It's designed to show you how to construct a great, unforgettable piece of writing from scratch—and your writing will never be the same.
This is for you if:
It's probably not for you if…
You write long-form, like books or novels. You're looking for a sales conversion course. Or you'd prefer a course with live feedback and group calls.
Hey there! I'm Ash.
I'm an author, blogger, internet writer, and entrepreneur, and I've been teaching people + brands how to write sharp, spunky, effervescent words online since 2009. I've given hundreds of creative writing classes over the last 15 years, and have had tens of thousands of students from all over the world!
What's included
If you want this to be the year that you finally commit to:
Frequently asked questions
What kind of writing does this teach?
This specializes in online content writing & spunky storytelling, primarily blogs, newsletters, thought leader posts (like LinkedIn), and sales emails.
Do I need this? What kind of writers / humans / aliens should take this?
If you write online, or want to, this is an excellent course for you. It's also perfect for brands who need to make their storytelling (way) more addictive (and stay out of generic territory!)
What is the workshop format? Are there live classes?
The Crowbar Writing Workshop is a video course and does not contain live instruction—it's on-demand with instant access, including the recording of the live Q&A and review session. Start tonight in your pajamas.
When is the workshop being released? When will I have it?
You can purchase right now and get started today, woo hoo!
Do I need to do anything to get it? How is it delivered?
You don't have to do a thing! Once you purchase, you'll receive a receipt, as well as an email to your inbox with access instructions.
How is this different from Creative Writing School?
Creative Writing School teaches voice—the sentence-level personality techniques. Crowbar teaches architecture—how to find, open, structure, and land a full piece. They're better together, but each stands alone.
What's the refund policy?
All sales are final due to the nature of digital products—instant, irrevocable access.
Still on the fence? Email anytime to ash@ashambirge.com. :)