Meat & Hair · On-Demand Course · Instant Access

Learn to Write With More Personality

The Creative Writing School for the Internet: use personality, style, wit, and voice to turn yourself into a magnificent internet writing beast. Make it rain with your writing — and have more fun than everyone else doing it.

If this is you, wave your pen in the air like you just don't care 🖊

You write content on the internet — newsletters, Substacks, emails, sales pages, blog posts, books — but you're fun in real life (you swear!) and can never seem to get it on the page.
Everything you write ends up sounding a liiiiittle bit like a goblin ate a term paper. Cliché, tired, samey-samey. (And let's be honest: AI is no help here.)
You end up sounding more salesy & "bro-marketey" than you intend — forced, pushy, generic, car-salesman-y — and you're starting to dread "content creation." 😵‍💫
You're working so damn hard, but nobody seems to care / notice / open your Magna Carta masterpieces.
Big sparkly bonus points if you're also: a non-native English speaker, a scientist or academic, or a corporate professional who's been ruinnnneeeed.

Sound like your inner monologue? "GENERIC CITYYYYYY." "I sound like Mr. Rogers ate a soccer mom." "Another launch with zero fanfare. Cool, cool, cool." "I don't even know what my voice is." We've been waiting to meet you since 2003.

You don't need to market yourself. You need to magnetize yourself.

Most people think it's about "getting found." But consider this pickle of a truth: the internet's a big place. People ARE finding you. The real problem? They don't care. (Yet!)

Fun fact: 67% of the people who were about to give you money… don't. That's nearly 7 out of 10. If you charge $1,000 for a service, then for every $3,000 you make, another $7,000 skates right out the door. They found you. They saw you. Their finger was ON the buy button. Writing that people love is what closes that gap — because pleasure is the key to selling.

Now Introducing

The world's most fun — and practical — course for writing online that'll make 'em laugh, listen & LOVE YOU

Go behind the scenes with Ash through twelve video masterclasses, each teaching one creative writing technique that transforms anything you're writing in seconds — website copy, newsletters, sales pages, Instagram captions, product descriptions, Craigslist ads, even obituaries. No theory, only how-to, with tons of before/after transformations so you can see the difference and replicate the effect.

Make it sticky. Make it real. Make it fascinate. Make it buck. Make it linger. Make it loved. Make it human. Make it bingeworthy. Make it yours.

What you'll learn to do

Make boring people, topics, and businesses feel FASCINATING to read about — even if they aren't ⚡️
Suck your newsletter subscribers in every time 🙀 — excited to read every word, right from the beginning (critical for sales)
Make anything more funny with a 2-second trick 🪄 — light humor in just the right place
Stand wayyyyy out from everyone in your industry — even writing about something done 1,000 times ("Borrow a Ballgown")
Un-corporate your writing and unravel years of "serious human syndrome" (hint: involves boob jobs & race cars)
Lighten up serious topics — like requests for payment — while staying tone-appropriate ("The Glitter Lung")
Murder all zombies & demons 😈 — the quick fix to clichés
Make a BIG impression in one paragraph — bios, product descriptions & summaries 👀

The curriculum

Twelve masterclasses. Each one: read select samples, learn the secret of why it works, analyze before/afters, then take on a writing exercise of your own.

The transformation techniques

Deconstruction (your new BFF is Wikipedia) · Borrow a Ballgown · The Glitter Lung · Word Boob Jobs · Zombie & Demon Murder (clichés) · Puns & wordplay for naming things · Breaking fancy china over your knee (relatability) · And more — one technique per class, instantly applicable.

The format, per class

A lively over-the-shoulder video tutorial with Ash (captions available) + a gorgeously designed PDF booklet packed with examples — learn at the airport, in the post-office line, at your kid's soccer game, or over a cozy coffee.

The magnum opus

Download the full 200-page collection of every Creative Writing School lesson, if you'd like to print and go full monk-with-a-manuscript.

What's included

12 video masterclasses, taught over-the-shoulder by Ash
A designed PDF workbook for every class, with before/after examples and writing exercises
The complete 200-page printable edition of all lessons
Lifetime access — including all future updates

The schedule

There isn't one — that's the point. This is an on-demand course with instant access upon purchase. Start tonight in your pajamas; finish on whatever clock your life runs on.

How long it takes

Each masterclass is designed to be consumed in one sitting and used the same day — students routinely apply a technique to real work between lessons. Binge the twelve in a weekend, or take one a week and let each technique settle into your writing bones.

In their words

"Your creative writing class has made my writing 10x's more interesting and brave."

Deonna Lindsay-Lewis · Student

"The week I was running the boring-ass ad, we had 29 people sign up for our free trial. After the kick-ass version went live, we had 160 sign up in one week! And people are commenting like crazy about how much they love my writing. I LOVE this class!"

Molly Patrick · Student (whose business is going so well, she moved to Hawaii)

"Unlike any course I've ever taken. No need to watch videos on 2x speed… I'm clicking, surfing and learning. But most of all I'm enjoying. You've inspired and empowered me."

Jill Michael · Student, Portugal by way of Texas

"I never knew I could look forward to and avidly devour an EMAIL course. But I can and I do. I love these lessons!"

Meghan Hart · Student

"These lessons are tickling my areolas! I find myself practicing your techniques in EVERYTHING I write. My writing is definitely leveling up."

Gigi Rodgers · Student

"'Hi Jorunn, I enjoy your blog posts so much! I even read them out loud to my husband — we both love your writing style.' I'm ecstatic. It truly has infused my writing with sizzle."

Jorunn Hernes · Student, wardrobe stylist, Norway

Questions, answered

I'm not THAT wild — is this all too wild?!

Absolutely not, unless we're all in a hot tub. Just because Ash is wild doesn't mean this course teaches you to be wild — it teaches real creative writing techniques that make your writing POP. How far you go with that is up to you. 😀

Will there be Fig Newtons?

Are you high? We all know how Ash feels about those. (THERE ARE TINY DEAD WASPS IN FIGS!!!!!!!)

Will I have instant access?

Yes — this is an on-demand course you can access anytime, with lifetime access.

What's the format?

Video tutorials (captions available) that walk you through each technique "over my shoulder," plus the most beautifully designed collection of high-octane PDF workbooks ever known to man.

What is the refund policy?

All sales are final due to the nature of digital products.

The Final Exam

Q1 of 1: Your last newsletter read like:

A. A goblin ate a term paper.
B. Mr. Rogers ate a soccer mom.
C. "Just following up!" (yet) again.
D. You, at full volume, tickling areolas. (Correct — or it will be. Enroll.)