Or, you could have the child and you end up outliving them (👋) and then you're 50 and STILL have no one to take care of you when you get old. Then you're left asking yourself, "So, WTH was it all for then??"
In my last substack post I actually wished out loud that someone would build little cabin clusters in the woods for anti-social people with dogs. 😁 And all our cabins would have epic, freestanding bathtubs 🛀
I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of my dream to own and live in one. I regularly book cabins in the woods with loft space perfect for writing. It's incredibly inspiring!
I am the person who will *gasp* at the DOG walking next to a stroller carrying a newborn. 🤷♀️ Part of the club. I do nervous about who will I hang out with when I’m older, though!! But that won’t stop me from doing interesting things!!
They could leave me a 100 page manual with how to take care of a kid and it would still be a struggle fest. Also, I read you bio and I have to know. DID YOU? Go for the bunkie life?
Same! Plus I would be so busy trying to figure out what section to go to in the manual for the mysterious thing the small human did that I would probably loose said human and then spend the rest of the day frantically looking in all the wrong places, then calling said small human's makers and asking for help.... and then they would find the child happily playing in the most *obvious place to them* that I somehow missed in my ongoing search and ahhhhhhhhh! And then they would take back said manual and tell me my child watching "privileges" have been revoked and I would cry happy tears and cheerfully run away to the nearest chocolate shop.
Thank God I'm in my 50's and I don't get that stupid question any longer. 🤣 I'LL take care of myself when I'm old!! And I'm doing a damn good job of it, thank you very much. (Not that I'm old, yet.😆 )Thank you, Ash. 😍
I mostly just get looks now. Recently I ran into an old friend in a restaurant and I was up at the lovely little bar with a glass of wine and I could feel the PITY she felt for me. 😂 Except, in reality, I was thoroughly enjoying myself! Haha.
LOL jeez I hasn’t even really considered that. How true! It’s all about what’s important to you, of course, but that’s the point of this post - it’s okay if different things are important to you! 🎉💛 They should all be celebrated.
Having 3D printed two now young adult humans, I will personally punch in the spleen anyone who has anything to say about anyone who has chosen not to have children. My own kids flip flop about whether or not they're going to have them. Cool. Do what you want. PLEASE.
People!!! Geez!!!
One of the top 3 reasons for wanting my own business - besides being able to f&#@ off to the Cotswolds & whatever other random reason suits me in any particular moment - is to NOT have my kids take care of me in my old age.
Oh now that's interesting–"to NOT have my kids take care of me in my old age." What a fresh perspective, J!!!!!! (Also, thank you so much for being here!!!!!)
It’s so normal to want what we want but so few see it that way! I’ve been repeatedly told while traipsing around Disneyland solo that I’m “so brave” for doing anything solo. I had a blast!
I keep getting asked if I regret not having kids now that I’m 39 and hate the judgy looks flung my way when I say no! Like excuse me if I’m using my lady bits wrong because I choose to use them for pleasure rather than hurling tiny humans out there to live in this crap storm of a world. I’ll take pleasure any day thank you very much. 😂
The smell! The mess! The noise! I would rather clean 16 litter boxes than hold an infant. Definitely a member of this club and wherever I end up in my dotage there must be CATS.
Ha! That part never bothered me as much as the permanent weight of making decisions through a lens that I never identified with or felt connected to, AKA the mother lens. (Then again, noise is my worst nightmare. 😂)
Agreed! I will gladly clean every stall in a 40 horse stall barn, give a few gelding a sheath cleaning, treat thrush, or walk a colicky horse for two hours on a bitter cold winter day and be grateful to not have to change a single diaper. Horses and cats duties I can do everyday all day. Runny toddler noses and diapers make me shudder!
Although I question your decisions about not eating pineapple on pizza and thinking Philly cheesesteaks are not good, I 100% hear you about not having kids.
Now passing my mid 50s, I have no regrets about not becoming a mini-me factory. Who will take care of me as I keep getting older? Not a clue...also, no time to worry about it. It's time for new and interesting journeys. And perhaps, in the future, a niece or nephew will check in on their cool crazy aunt once in a while.
Who will take care of me when I'm old? My goddess blessed self, thank you very much! :)
Or I'll join or create a commune of incredible thinkers, makers, doers who have no intention of ever "retiring" or "slowing down" or becoming feeble in any way we can help. Life is for living not playing bingo unless that's really your thing.
Like everyone else, I've seen a lot of people and critters I love become advanced in their earthly experience - but the ones who truly lived well right up until their passing to the next plane of existence all had an "I am capable" and "I can find a way" mindset in all things. It wasn't that they didn't accept or ask for help, it was instead that they chose to keep living, not become passive observers. I've heard people say and feel they were old when they were 40 and people who are 70 say they are young and feel young. It's all perspective.
And let's be honest - does spending 20 years in a nursing home as a vegetable sound like a life worth living? Not to me. I would rather be out helping to heal the earth, and when its time enjoy a rich chocolate cake with rich buttercream frosting and go out with a blaze of delicious glory.
Becoming advanced in years doesn't have to mean not being able to care of yourself - and dying, well that's part of the life experience that bringing a bit of celebration on your own terms is worth considering.
Or, you could have the child and you end up outliving them (👋) and then you're 50 and STILL have no one to take care of you when you get old. Then you're left asking yourself, "So, WTH was it all for then??"
In my last substack post I actually wished out loud that someone would build little cabin clusters in the woods for anti-social people with dogs. 😁 And all our cabins would have epic, freestanding bathtubs 🛀
RESERVE ME ONE! (Also: you should actually go build one. Wouldn’t that be such a fun experiment?!)
I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of my dream to own and live in one. I regularly book cabins in the woods with loft space perfect for writing. It's incredibly inspiring!
I was recently in one as an Airbnb in the middle of nowhere and it was SO peaceful. The only thing that freaked me out was at night. 😂
That's what the big dog is for 😂😂
Kids or no kids, I just don't know how you write this stuff. 🤯
Every sentence is a masterpiece. 🔥
Thank you for taking the time out of your LIFE to send me this little gifty pooh of a beautiful compliment. THANK YOU!!!!!
Nooo, thank you for making me laugh, you are awesome!! 👋
Ooooh Ash!
I am the person who will *gasp* at the DOG walking next to a stroller carrying a newborn. 🤷♀️ Part of the club. I do nervous about who will I hang out with when I’m older, though!! But that won’t stop me from doing interesting things!!
Thanks for adding fireworks to my inbox today.
Hugs!!
Anne, I'm also the woman who wouldn't even notice the baby stroller while swooning over their dog. I'd even babysit the dog over the child.
They could leave me a 100 page manual with how to take care of a kid and it would still be a struggle fest. Also, I read you bio and I have to know. DID YOU? Go for the bunkie life?
Parenting manuals are like choose your own ending, but you never choose the right one!
And no bunkie life yet but it's coming! Did you Google them? They're awesomely adorable 😍
Now I need to Google this!!!!
Google, and I am swooned! So excited for you!
Same! Plus I would be so busy trying to figure out what section to go to in the manual for the mysterious thing the small human did that I would probably loose said human and then spend the rest of the day frantically looking in all the wrong places, then calling said small human's makers and asking for help.... and then they would find the child happily playing in the most *obvious place to them* that I somehow missed in my ongoing search and ahhhhhhhhh! And then they would take back said manual and tell me my child watching "privileges" have been revoked and I would cry happy tears and cheerfully run away to the nearest chocolate shop.
Let's hang out together! Can't wait until our next adventure. (And ALSO—"fireworks in my inbox" is the nicest testimonial ever. 🎉 ) Hugs, hugs!!!!!
Thank God I'm in my 50's and I don't get that stupid question any longer. 🤣 I'LL take care of myself when I'm old!! And I'm doing a damn good job of it, thank you very much. (Not that I'm old, yet.😆 )Thank you, Ash. 😍
I mostly just get looks now. Recently I ran into an old friend in a restaurant and I was up at the lovely little bar with a glass of wine and I could feel the PITY she felt for me. 😂 Except, in reality, I was thoroughly enjoying myself! Haha.
Yeah, I felt that pity. Now I feel a little more envy from them. Those college tuitions are expensive! 🤣
LOL jeez I hasn’t even really considered that. How true! It’s all about what’s important to you, of course, but that’s the point of this post - it’s okay if different things are important to you! 🎉💛 They should all be celebrated.
Absolutely!!
Having 3D printed two now young adult humans, I will personally punch in the spleen anyone who has anything to say about anyone who has chosen not to have children. My own kids flip flop about whether or not they're going to have them. Cool. Do what you want. PLEASE.
People!!! Geez!!!
One of the top 3 reasons for wanting my own business - besides being able to f&#@ off to the Cotswolds & whatever other random reason suits me in any particular moment - is to NOT have my kids take care of me in my old age.
And then there's this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c6jJ5qKc5k
Oh now that's interesting–"to NOT have my kids take care of me in my old age." What a fresh perspective, J!!!!!! (Also, thank you so much for being here!!!!!)
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU, ASH!!!!!
It’s so normal to want what we want but so few see it that way! I’ve been repeatedly told while traipsing around Disneyland solo that I’m “so brave” for doing anything solo. I had a blast!
I keep getting asked if I regret not having kids now that I’m 39 and hate the judgy looks flung my way when I say no! Like excuse me if I’m using my lady bits wrong because I choose to use them for pleasure rather than hurling tiny humans out there to live in this crap storm of a world. I’ll take pleasure any day thank you very much. 😂
Omg, you need to write a post about this--the whole “you’re so brave for going solo” bit! It’s actually, uh, independence??? 😀
Lol the reaction people have to independent women is hilarious. I should totally write about my experience!
The smell! The mess! The noise! I would rather clean 16 litter boxes than hold an infant. Definitely a member of this club and wherever I end up in my dotage there must be CATS.
Ha! That part never bothered me as much as the permanent weight of making decisions through a lens that I never identified with or felt connected to, AKA the mother lens. (Then again, noise is my worst nightmare. 😂)
Agreed! I will gladly clean every stall in a 40 horse stall barn, give a few gelding a sheath cleaning, treat thrush, or walk a colicky horse for two hours on a bitter cold winter day and be grateful to not have to change a single diaper. Horses and cats duties I can do everyday all day. Runny toddler noses and diapers make me shudder!
Although I question your decisions about not eating pineapple on pizza and thinking Philly cheesesteaks are not good, I 100% hear you about not having kids.
Now passing my mid 50s, I have no regrets about not becoming a mini-me factory. Who will take care of me as I keep getting older? Not a clue...also, no time to worry about it. It's time for new and interesting journeys. And perhaps, in the future, a niece or nephew will check in on their cool crazy aunt once in a while.
PS Also i just pictured pineapple on a cheesesteak and now my life is ruined. 😂
Your comment just made me swoon. 😍 Patti, my hero!!!!!!!!!
Who will take care of me when I'm old? My goddess blessed self, thank you very much! :)
Or I'll join or create a commune of incredible thinkers, makers, doers who have no intention of ever "retiring" or "slowing down" or becoming feeble in any way we can help. Life is for living not playing bingo unless that's really your thing.
Like everyone else, I've seen a lot of people and critters I love become advanced in their earthly experience - but the ones who truly lived well right up until their passing to the next plane of existence all had an "I am capable" and "I can find a way" mindset in all things. It wasn't that they didn't accept or ask for help, it was instead that they chose to keep living, not become passive observers. I've heard people say and feel they were old when they were 40 and people who are 70 say they are young and feel young. It's all perspective.
And let's be honest - does spending 20 years in a nursing home as a vegetable sound like a life worth living? Not to me. I would rather be out helping to heal the earth, and when its time enjoy a rich chocolate cake with rich buttercream frosting and go out with a blaze of delicious glory.
Becoming advanced in years doesn't have to mean not being able to care of yourself - and dying, well that's part of the life experience that bringing a bit of celebration on your own terms is worth considering.