"Who even am I????" <- that terrifying thought will pop into my mind at the most random times... sitting at the stoplight. Attempting a not very flexible downward dog. Eating extra greasy bacon. And I have come to two conclusions:
1. I have chameleon'd myself into every size shape and color for everyone else for YEARS.
2. I need to prune the hell out of my life. Because I suspect I do *much* for the sake of others, *not* because it's what brings me joy and fulfilment.
Well this hit like a goddamn (but much needed) hammer. I have “officially” retired (whatever that means when you have been self-employed for the past 30 years).
My husband retired last year and begged me to join him. So I have and I am adrift in not knowing what the fuck I want to do.
And I hate it.
But this has been a lovely splash of vodka in my day. I definitely feel the pruning of my life (not a fan since I feel like it’s been forced on me.) But am overjoyed with the idea of deciding that my guiding principle now is “whatever I want to do.” (Props for that brilliant idea.)
Change is a bitch (at least in this case) and I am not a big change-embracer. But this article definitely lit a fire for me. Thank you. (Even though the whole toilet/plunging parts are the dark things my nightmares are made of!)
So full of incredible reminders. As my friend's very EXTRA mom says, "Why be simple when you can be complicated?" And my friend and I have turned this around to "Why be complicated when you can be simple..."
I finally left Bali yesterday. Will meet my 5 furries at the airport tonight and fly away together to our new simple life in Colorado. And I can't wait to buy those sharp scissors, and start using them! xo
"Who even am I????" <- that terrifying thought will pop into my mind at the most random times... sitting at the stoplight. Attempting a not very flexible downward dog. Eating extra greasy bacon. And I have come to two conclusions:
1. I have chameleon'd myself into every size shape and color for everyone else for YEARS.
2. I need to prune the hell out of my life. Because I suspect I do *much* for the sake of others, *not* because it's what brings me joy and fulfilment.
Sharp scissors, let's fucking do this. ✂️
"I often find myself acting as a caricature of myself in order to become more agreeable to whomever is in my company.” Shit. 🙋🏻♀️
As someone in her Chapter Three, figuring out who I am has become a full-time job. I love your writing so much, Ash - you have a wise, wide-open soul.
Well this hit like a goddamn (but much needed) hammer. I have “officially” retired (whatever that means when you have been self-employed for the past 30 years).
My husband retired last year and begged me to join him. So I have and I am adrift in not knowing what the fuck I want to do.
And I hate it.
But this has been a lovely splash of vodka in my day. I definitely feel the pruning of my life (not a fan since I feel like it’s been forced on me.) But am overjoyed with the idea of deciding that my guiding principle now is “whatever I want to do.” (Props for that brilliant idea.)
Change is a bitch (at least in this case) and I am not a big change-embracer. But this article definitely lit a fire for me. Thank you. (Even though the whole toilet/plunging parts are the dark things my nightmares are made of!)
Prune away, Queen.
In my 20's "trimming the hedges" was shaving down the bikini line, but in my 40's it is actual hedges. Much more time consuming!
You know, you can flush toilets when the electricity is out. Unless, I guess, if you have well water which needs an electric pump.
So full of incredible reminders. As my friend's very EXTRA mom says, "Why be simple when you can be complicated?" And my friend and I have turned this around to "Why be complicated when you can be simple..."
I finally left Bali yesterday. Will meet my 5 furries at the airport tonight and fly away together to our new simple life in Colorado. And I can't wait to buy those sharp scissors, and start using them! xo
I love reading this!
So weird to think of you gardening but I love it.
This is so good Ash!
Love this….
You are a gardener! Voila. And wielding a plunger and installing window boxes! Slaying it all.