Just as my imposter syndrome grabbed hold of me today and showed me how EVERYONE is doing it better than me and do I really think I have what it takes, no I don't and blah blah blah... along comes this piece to reignite that little flicker of hope buried deep down inside that is DYING to create something amazing that brings me joy and happiness and love and serenity... this is good. This is very good. Thanks for the reminder that there are good things that can happen when you follow your heart! (btw, I kinda want to know what happened with Christopher the Trash Guy?!)
I'm starting to think that the more you do what you want, the more you have what it takes. Maybe desire is THE FUEL.
As for Christopher the Trash Guy! He has shown up religiously the last two weeks, even though yesterday I hid from him in my house because I wasn't feeling social. 😂 Then, he drove by with the trash truck later, saw me in my big picture window, and we waved and he honked. SO WE ARE STILL FRIENDS.
You shoulda heard my convo with the internet guy yesterday! Obviously will be writing about. 😂
I took the leap - and while I love working with small businesses, lately I've felt the pull to work with dogs. Puppies. Four legged furry friends who are ALWAYS happy to see me, and sure - they may piss on my leg from time to time, but it's always out of love. Or is it? But - I'm not sure how to make that leap... yet. This article reminded me of ALL.THE.REASONS. I need to do it!
Omg, I was JUST working on an article about "what if you picked your ideal client first....and then built a business around THAT?" So much of what makes business miserable for some people, I am convinced, is the actual clientele, more than the work itself. I like your idea of going full-in on the pups!!!!!! My best friend from high school is the same way; she just opened her own dog kennel, and it's going GREAT. She walks the dogs every day, and even does house calls for folks who are on vacation, and she's having the time of her life! (And also is down like one trillion pounds already lol.)
Julie, what are your ideas with puppies/dogs? Because that's one of my biggest passions as well but there are no novel ideas of dog businesses lol. It seems like you either have to be a dog walker or a trainer. Not much variety. I would LOVE to create a worldwide movement of adopting dogs for grief support. It worked wonders for me. But how does anyone start a movement? Find grieving people? Pair up with dog rescue agencies? And if you can find all those, HOW does that create income? My head explodes a lot 😂😂
My friend Nic is a pet photographer, educator, author, and leading brand in the space of creating a pet brand, in case this is a rabbit hole you want to go down!!! https://animalhausmedia.com/about/our-founder/
I love that idea.. though I'd need to think through the income part of it - because I really don't want to be part of a non-profit. I always think about doggie daycares, or a dog agility course (think paid dog park with trainers and cool things for the dog), maybe a doggie splash pad park, or even a mobile doggie treat food truck... think about the summer ice cream truck - but for dogs... maybe it's shaped like a giant wiener... lol. And as part of business I would give to shelters and what not - I just don't want to be a non-profit.... I'm not sure if any of those ideas are good or not. ohhh... one more - I could also do a mobile dog grooming business. Or maybe, a business that offers support after a family loses a pet - I think about the things I would want if one of my doggos died - and I can come up with some pretty neat ideas - while crying over my coffee (or wine!) of course.... thoughts? are these all stupid?
Just linked Kristi up to my friend Nic, who is a pet photographer, educator, author, and leading brand in the space of creating a pet brand. I feel like you both would love her jam!!!!! https://animalhausmedia.com/about/our-founder/
NO!! None of them are stupid! I've thought of a few of those myself but MONEY is such a factor in starting up with some of those...at least it would be for me. I've often thought of a drop-in, indoor, climate controlled play space in my city because our winters can get excruciating and summers often too hot or too rainy. But the money to acquire a commercial space for such a thing is prohibitive.
I love your idea of the dog ice cream truck 😂 I'd totally buy from that. You could have dog treats and human treats 😁
On the topic of paid dog parks and agility spaces, we have one here and they do killer business. They've got multiple large, fenced spaces you can book online. If you want to look at them just for ideas, they're called Play Unleashed in Calgary, Alberta.
Anything around pets seems to be big business, from clothing to pet treats, costumes, and gourmet food. People have their pets everywhere these days. My town has a seasonal farmers market and there is always a vendor set up that sells homemade doggie treats, biscuits, and even cakes I believe. Years ago I did throw a birthday party for my dog. I sent out custom invitations to all my fellow friends with dogs, it was a lot of fun. You could focus on a myriad of pet related things, even designing pet invitations, for starters. Homemade pet biscuits or treats, partner with someone who creates pet clothes or sweaters and a pet photographer. I have also used a mobile pet grooming service and a doggie daycare for when we were traveling and left our pet home. There is a local pet lodge here that is on acres of land. We also took our pup there for puppy training when we first got her. So many, for profit things you can do. Have you seen those doggie strollers???! Those just take the cake for me, but I see plenty of older ladies pushing their dog in strollers!! 😂
I love the invitation idea... or maybe throwing custom dog birthday parties. My sweet boy Rocket just turned 1 and I bought him a $50 Ribeye to celebrate. I mean.... you wanna talk about spoiled. lol. Thanks for the ideas - these are all so good.
Your welcome, try it out!! I’m reminding myself how I loved to entertain and would throw legendary parties for my kids. From the the custom invitations, to the party themes, details, games, and customized food beyond ‘pizza’. I think all of that was my creative outlet because I wasn’t doing interior design work back then.
I once gave my kids a mad scientist birthday party and printed the invites on parchment paper then burned the edges and sent the invasions out in plastic test tubes with little plastic bones and stuff inside with the rolled up invitations. The response was insane and still talked about 10 years later.
You can do a lot with creative writing the invite details and story ideas for pets!!
I used to work at a dog vacation business. Each dog family had a cottage with heat, air conditioning, dog beds, a tv, and a fenced in area with a door they could go in and out of on nice days. Each dog family would get turned out to play and walk in a park like common area for at least 20 minutes 3 times a day. They used tile for the floors and some kind of super durable plastic for the walls within the cottages so it was really easy to clean. The dogs were fed 2-4 times a day depending in their needs and what foods their people had left for them. There was also a space to groom the dogs and bath them. the dogs were happy. The people got to go on worry free vacations. And the people who owned it charged well so they made a great living. Maybe there's an idea in there to run with and build from!
I wonder how much of this is biological, and how much of it is ingrained thinking? That would be interesting to learn about! I remember wondering this when C used to tell me he was terrified of flying. And then I learned that his mom was terrified of flying. And then I thought: is this learned behavior? I really have no clue, but remembering wondering about it.
It's a great question. I don't remember ever seeing my parents be afraid of anything, but enough people around me talk about "fear" - of success, of failing - that perhaps I've absorbed it. You're the sum of the people you spend the most time soaking up, ya know?
I wanted to start a beautiful business, but what to do? I remembered that 4225 years ago when I was in college I took a photography course and really enjoyed it. That would be it! I bought a camera. Alas, since the unboxing it has been collecting dust like the black bookcase in my living room that I hate but can't seem to get rid of.
I am starting a business. Not a beautiful one, but not as ugly as 23 day old mashed avocados you find in the back of a fridge. So maybe it will work. Maybe it won't. Maybe I can sick the swifter on that camera and work on both. After all, why not?
Baahahaha, "not as ugly as 23 day old mashed avocados you find in the back of a fridge." This is the bane of my existence, right here. 😂
You know what I think we need more of? More live, real-time courses and programs to get people committed, accountable, and excitedly moving in a new direction. It is so hard to muster up enthusiasm on your own, even if you like something. All the stuff you *don't* know how to do yet can be demoralizing.
I JUST started reading the book "Joyful" by Ingrid Fetell Lee and now I want to rent an apartment and stick flowers on the ceiling for "texture" and to have joy. The financial handcuffs really have me in a mental wedgie! I've been traveling a lot, but it's fatiguing not having a home to return to, and I can't I can do both right now financially but maybe if I have a HOME, I will be able to CREATE more, work more efficiently, and THEN fund travels in the future and have the comfort of knowing my bed is always waiting for me. So this concept of "joy" and creating something tangible is intriguing as I think about the new year. To gamble by staying one area, to create a most vivid and appealing workout space for clients to come visit me in person, to videotape content in, to show how a fit lifestyle can be so accessible, and FUN and joyful...seems unrelated but I think it is....thanks for all the confidence you have in your readers and all the fire under the ass you light up for us , Ash!
Omg I must read that book! Anyone sticking flowers on their ceiling is my kinda people. Just the other day I was foraging around in my woods to curate a collection of “what winter is” so I could make a stunning piece of art out of it - something huge and large format and for hanging on the wall. Will take photos if I can figure out how to use a glue gun! 😂
Also--YES to having the safety and comfort of home in order to also grow and expand and explore and travel. This is totally what I mean when I do Selfish School. Let’s strategize well so we can have it ALL.
I think a lot of people truly have no idea what they WANT to do. Or they don't think that what they do do is worth anything.
I once asked my (retired but restless) mother what brings her joy and her answer was, "I don't even know!" That made me sad because she has a craft room in her home that rivals a Michael's store and she makes INCREDIBLE things. But she has no idea what to do with them.
As an aside, I also think technology is a barrier for some. They don't have the first clue where to start with anything online.
YES - I was thinking about this afterward, and remembered that a big one is "I have no idea what I would even do." It's not that you can't make it interesting, it's that you don't know yourself enough to know what you even like. This feels like a huge struggle for most of us, doesn't it?
Analysis paralysis. Either (1) waiting for everything to line up (aka ducks lined up in order) or (2) thinking that business side of things (eg: do a business plan etc) is more important than starting. When I started my business, I started it. I figured out the tax stuff later. My thinking? If it fails, it fails. At least I learned something. If it succeeds? The world is my oyster.
Analysis paralysis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH THAT IS SO REAL. I need to add that to the poll. Oh god, yes. Talk about a dream killer! (I suffer from this tons with tons of things, and have to actively work to just tell myself to move, rather than think.)
Definitely going with too scared I can't pull it off AND who the f*ck do you think you are to have the idea you can make money doing that?
In large part because of things that have been repeatedly screamed at me and I quote - because these things have been hurled at me so often they are burned into my brain – and come up often in times of self doubt as a result:
"No one wants what you do! No one is buying your art! Get a straw, suck it up, and go get a real f*cking job!"
And it wasn't strangers spearing my dreams with those gems - it was my husband, my mother, my sister, my brother, and people I loved as dear friends. All screaming the same horrible scripts. And that's the extent of my family. I don't have kindly aunts or caring grandmothers or anyone like that to counter the dream smashing. So to be daring and do the work I love to do that calls me like nothing else does - not even the most divine chocolate - means going it alone. And that's scary - even with beacons of light sprinkled across the internet like the Middle Finger Project. There have been times when the only shoulder I had to cry on or encourage me to keep rebelling and painting was a random post on the Middle Finger Project blog. So you Ash, you hold a special place in my heart for being safe to be real and truly myself with - via internet magic.
At my lowest point I often thought to myself that my only support was myself and death in itself because like you I have negative support around me. We got this and will beat this 💪 and thank God for Ash and her emails!!!!
WHHHYYYYY for the love of drinking maraschino cherry juice straight out of the bottle (a personal favorite of mine) do I give two f*cks what anyone thinks? But yet, here I am, and I do.
You know, people always used to ask me: "How did you get the nerve to write some of the things you did at The Middle Finger Project? Weren't you worried about what other people thought?" And I remember thinking to myself that removing myself from my local community and being global was a huge help in that; it introduced distance to judgment, even though I'm sure it still existed, and let me be free to explore my ideas without worrying about what X, Y, and Z person would comment to me down at the local diner. Now that I've purchased this property here and am diving back into the community a little, I already feel that pressure. I can only imagine what that feels like with a lifetime of it.
What if you can't see outside of how things are done already to come up with something creative and amazing?
I see these ideas - like the flower trash cans or the stone mason and think they are incredible but I don't know how to translate it to making websites. It sounds dumb even writing that, but in a land of Squarespace and Tonic templates for Showit websites, people can make great looking sites themselves (they can also mess it up and make something very ho-hum). So where is my space? What is my amazing thing that I do?
It's so interesting you write this - last night I was marvelling at my 15 year old son's creativity in his Nightcore lyric videos he creates. He started only a year ago and has created 52 videos across his two YouTube channels - just for the pure pleasure of it, for himself and anyone who watches, great.
I decided that I would create a website a week over the coming year, sample sites for various imaginary businesses, just to expand my skills and thoughts on what I can create - like my son has done.
Then you come and say make 100 websites on your own time - this is synchronicity - thank you.
I shall start creating, with no client pressure, just for the pure enjoyment and exploration of it.
Being crapped on even when hella excited shrivelled my jump into the fire and do it anyway attitude. I’m trying to get back into it and rebuilding my courage and excitement for doing things that light me up even if nobody else agrees with what I want to do.
In fact, my sister and I are starting an online shop designing sassy shirts. We just picked our first round of designs to go public with!
Totes will!! We’re excited to do something together and put our sassy side out there 😆
Naming the shop has been a challenge (why is everything taken?!) so we’re doing it imperfect and getting the merch up to start spreading the word sans name 🤷🏼♀️ Our goal is to make it sassy classy and a lil badassy!
We did secure a domain (Life Love & Rebellion) that fits what we want to blog about as we head into next year...
I'd actually say it's B & C. Too scared to take the leap (e.g., not knowing what exact steps to take & doing it on your own is kinda scary. Can I get a hand to hold while we go through these dark woods together?) & the financial handcuffs, which for myself is good ol' bad debt. It's always there like an old couch.
However, I do know that one win, even a small one, can change your fuckin' WORLD! One win, and your cooking tastes better, the tequila hits right, your confidence jacks up to "the baddest bitch" levels, and you BELIEVE all things are possible! That you CAN do this!
So it really is about getting to that first (even breadcrumb sized) win.
I think I don’t know what I want to explore or I don’t have enough space to think of ideas. So I fall back to what I know. Also, inevitably the next thought after an idea is ‘how are you going to make money doing that???!’
The trash can flower dude is amazing. Because 1. That is no easy feat. I’m sure each arrangement cost several hundreds of dollars to put together. Maybe because he worked as a florist he had access to the left over, not so perfect specimens and they were going to be trashed anyway???! If so, it makes his arrangements even more compelling, and maybe how he got the idea???!! And a great origin story.
2. If I had this idea I would have crushed it by asking myself, how am I going to make any money from arranging discard flowers in garbage cans, for Pete’s sake??? Lol 😂 Around and around the ideas go and never get off the ground. 😏
I totally took notes from your comment, Elle! "How are you going to make money doing that?" is definitely one of the biggest mental roadblocks, preventing people from even dreaming in the first place. And with good reason!
In this case, finding your passion IS the marketing move that will allow you to get paid for it. But, it's gotta be public. And it's gotta be passion. Then, you can have your pick of clients, because they will ALL want to hire the woman who spearheaded THAT incredible initiative!
Just as my imposter syndrome grabbed hold of me today and showed me how EVERYONE is doing it better than me and do I really think I have what it takes, no I don't and blah blah blah... along comes this piece to reignite that little flicker of hope buried deep down inside that is DYING to create something amazing that brings me joy and happiness and love and serenity... this is good. This is very good. Thanks for the reminder that there are good things that can happen when you follow your heart! (btw, I kinda want to know what happened with Christopher the Trash Guy?!)
I'm starting to think that the more you do what you want, the more you have what it takes. Maybe desire is THE FUEL.
As for Christopher the Trash Guy! He has shown up religiously the last two weeks, even though yesterday I hid from him in my house because I wasn't feeling social. 😂 Then, he drove by with the trash truck later, saw me in my big picture window, and we waved and he honked. SO WE ARE STILL FRIENDS.
You shoulda heard my convo with the internet guy yesterday! Obviously will be writing about. 😂
lol!! Yay - love the budding friendship with Christopher the Trash Guy!!!
"I'm starting to think that the more you do what you want, the more you have what it takes."
Shoot this straight into my veins.
I took the leap - and while I love working with small businesses, lately I've felt the pull to work with dogs. Puppies. Four legged furry friends who are ALWAYS happy to see me, and sure - they may piss on my leg from time to time, but it's always out of love. Or is it? But - I'm not sure how to make that leap... yet. This article reminded me of ALL.THE.REASONS. I need to do it!
Omg, I was JUST working on an article about "what if you picked your ideal client first....and then built a business around THAT?" So much of what makes business miserable for some people, I am convinced, is the actual clientele, more than the work itself. I like your idea of going full-in on the pups!!!!!! My best friend from high school is the same way; she just opened her own dog kennel, and it's going GREAT. She walks the dogs every day, and even does house calls for folks who are on vacation, and she's having the time of her life! (And also is down like one trillion pounds already lol.)
Ideal client. That’s exactly where I started with a new idea recently so you bringing that up is so validating, Ash. 😳🤔🥰
Also related to puppers.
Interesting things brewing... or baking. 🍪
Julie, what are your ideas with puppies/dogs? Because that's one of my biggest passions as well but there are no novel ideas of dog businesses lol. It seems like you either have to be a dog walker or a trainer. Not much variety. I would LOVE to create a worldwide movement of adopting dogs for grief support. It worked wonders for me. But how does anyone start a movement? Find grieving people? Pair up with dog rescue agencies? And if you can find all those, HOW does that create income? My head explodes a lot 😂😂
My friend Nic is a pet photographer, educator, author, and leading brand in the space of creating a pet brand, in case this is a rabbit hole you want to go down!!! https://animalhausmedia.com/about/our-founder/
ummmmm... hell yes I do. Thank you!
I love rabbit holes 😁
I love that idea.. though I'd need to think through the income part of it - because I really don't want to be part of a non-profit. I always think about doggie daycares, or a dog agility course (think paid dog park with trainers and cool things for the dog), maybe a doggie splash pad park, or even a mobile doggie treat food truck... think about the summer ice cream truck - but for dogs... maybe it's shaped like a giant wiener... lol. And as part of business I would give to shelters and what not - I just don't want to be a non-profit.... I'm not sure if any of those ideas are good or not. ohhh... one more - I could also do a mobile dog grooming business. Or maybe, a business that offers support after a family loses a pet - I think about the things I would want if one of my doggos died - and I can come up with some pretty neat ideas - while crying over my coffee (or wine!) of course.... thoughts? are these all stupid?
Just linked Kristi up to my friend Nic, who is a pet photographer, educator, author, and leading brand in the space of creating a pet brand. I feel like you both would love her jam!!!!! https://animalhausmedia.com/about/our-founder/
NO!! None of them are stupid! I've thought of a few of those myself but MONEY is such a factor in starting up with some of those...at least it would be for me. I've often thought of a drop-in, indoor, climate controlled play space in my city because our winters can get excruciating and summers often too hot or too rainy. But the money to acquire a commercial space for such a thing is prohibitive.
I love your idea of the dog ice cream truck 😂 I'd totally buy from that. You could have dog treats and human treats 😁
On the topic of paid dog parks and agility spaces, we have one here and they do killer business. They've got multiple large, fenced spaces you can book online. If you want to look at them just for ideas, they're called Play Unleashed in Calgary, Alberta.
https://www.playunleashed.com/
what a killer name.... Play Unleashed... I love that!!!!
There was one I saw in Des Moines called "Paws & Pints" - this place is so cute!! Check this out: https://pawsandpintsdsm.com/
Anything around pets seems to be big business, from clothing to pet treats, costumes, and gourmet food. People have their pets everywhere these days. My town has a seasonal farmers market and there is always a vendor set up that sells homemade doggie treats, biscuits, and even cakes I believe. Years ago I did throw a birthday party for my dog. I sent out custom invitations to all my fellow friends with dogs, it was a lot of fun. You could focus on a myriad of pet related things, even designing pet invitations, for starters. Homemade pet biscuits or treats, partner with someone who creates pet clothes or sweaters and a pet photographer. I have also used a mobile pet grooming service and a doggie daycare for when we were traveling and left our pet home. There is a local pet lodge here that is on acres of land. We also took our pup there for puppy training when we first got her. So many, for profit things you can do. Have you seen those doggie strollers???! Those just take the cake for me, but I see plenty of older ladies pushing their dog in strollers!! 😂
I love the invitation idea... or maybe throwing custom dog birthday parties. My sweet boy Rocket just turned 1 and I bought him a $50 Ribeye to celebrate. I mean.... you wanna talk about spoiled. lol. Thanks for the ideas - these are all so good.
Your welcome, try it out!! I’m reminding myself how I loved to entertain and would throw legendary parties for my kids. From the the custom invitations, to the party themes, details, games, and customized food beyond ‘pizza’. I think all of that was my creative outlet because I wasn’t doing interior design work back then.
I once gave my kids a mad scientist birthday party and printed the invites on parchment paper then burned the edges and sent the invasions out in plastic test tubes with little plastic bones and stuff inside with the rolled up invitations. The response was insane and still talked about 10 years later.
You can do a lot with creative writing the invite details and story ideas for pets!!
Elle, this is LEGENDARY!!!!! You've got creativity in your bones, chick!!!!!!!!! (I love this.)
This needs to happen.
PLEASE, ELLE!!!
I used to work at a dog vacation business. Each dog family had a cottage with heat, air conditioning, dog beds, a tv, and a fenced in area with a door they could go in and out of on nice days. Each dog family would get turned out to play and walk in a park like common area for at least 20 minutes 3 times a day. They used tile for the floors and some kind of super durable plastic for the walls within the cottages so it was really easy to clean. The dogs were fed 2-4 times a day depending in their needs and what foods their people had left for them. There was also a space to groom the dogs and bath them. the dogs were happy. The people got to go on worry free vacations. And the people who owned it charged well so they made a great living. Maybe there's an idea in there to run with and build from!
These are gold mine businesses. We have something similar in my area here in GA. 🦮🐶
Absolute, sheer terror. Not everyone wants to born in fire.
I wonder how much of this is biological, and how much of it is ingrained thinking? That would be interesting to learn about! I remember wondering this when C used to tell me he was terrified of flying. And then I learned that his mom was terrified of flying. And then I thought: is this learned behavior? I really have no clue, but remembering wondering about it.
It's a great question. I don't remember ever seeing my parents be afraid of anything, but enough people around me talk about "fear" - of success, of failing - that perhaps I've absorbed it. You're the sum of the people you spend the most time soaking up, ya know?
Oh yes, like the line that is always about how many small businesses fail. I'd like to hear about how many unexpected businesses succeed!
I wanted to start a beautiful business, but what to do? I remembered that 4225 years ago when I was in college I took a photography course and really enjoyed it. That would be it! I bought a camera. Alas, since the unboxing it has been collecting dust like the black bookcase in my living room that I hate but can't seem to get rid of.
I am starting a business. Not a beautiful one, but not as ugly as 23 day old mashed avocados you find in the back of a fridge. So maybe it will work. Maybe it won't. Maybe I can sick the swifter on that camera and work on both. After all, why not?
Baahahaha, "not as ugly as 23 day old mashed avocados you find in the back of a fridge." This is the bane of my existence, right here. 😂
You know what I think we need more of? More live, real-time courses and programs to get people committed, accountable, and excitedly moving in a new direction. It is so hard to muster up enthusiasm on your own, even if you like something. All the stuff you *don't* know how to do yet can be demoralizing.
I JUST started reading the book "Joyful" by Ingrid Fetell Lee and now I want to rent an apartment and stick flowers on the ceiling for "texture" and to have joy. The financial handcuffs really have me in a mental wedgie! I've been traveling a lot, but it's fatiguing not having a home to return to, and I can't I can do both right now financially but maybe if I have a HOME, I will be able to CREATE more, work more efficiently, and THEN fund travels in the future and have the comfort of knowing my bed is always waiting for me. So this concept of "joy" and creating something tangible is intriguing as I think about the new year. To gamble by staying one area, to create a most vivid and appealing workout space for clients to come visit me in person, to videotape content in, to show how a fit lifestyle can be so accessible, and FUN and joyful...seems unrelated but I think it is....thanks for all the confidence you have in your readers and all the fire under the ass you light up for us , Ash!
Omg I must read that book! Anyone sticking flowers on their ceiling is my kinda people. Just the other day I was foraging around in my woods to curate a collection of “what winter is” so I could make a stunning piece of art out of it - something huge and large format and for hanging on the wall. Will take photos if I can figure out how to use a glue gun! 😂
Also--YES to having the safety and comfort of home in order to also grow and expand and explore and travel. This is totally what I mean when I do Selfish School. Let’s strategize well so we can have it ALL.
About change, i think If it feels exciting and scary at the same time, it deserves serious consideration.
I try to ride that excitement as much as I can to override the scary!
I think a lot of people truly have no idea what they WANT to do. Or they don't think that what they do do is worth anything.
I once asked my (retired but restless) mother what brings her joy and her answer was, "I don't even know!" That made me sad because she has a craft room in her home that rivals a Michael's store and she makes INCREDIBLE things. But she has no idea what to do with them.
As an aside, I also think technology is a barrier for some. They don't have the first clue where to start with anything online.
YES - I was thinking about this afterward, and remembered that a big one is "I have no idea what I would even do." It's not that you can't make it interesting, it's that you don't know yourself enough to know what you even like. This feels like a huge struggle for most of us, doesn't it?
Analysis paralysis. Either (1) waiting for everything to line up (aka ducks lined up in order) or (2) thinking that business side of things (eg: do a business plan etc) is more important than starting. When I started my business, I started it. I figured out the tax stuff later. My thinking? If it fails, it fails. At least I learned something. If it succeeds? The world is my oyster.
Analysis paralysis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH THAT IS SO REAL. I need to add that to the poll. Oh god, yes. Talk about a dream killer! (I suffer from this tons with tons of things, and have to actively work to just tell myself to move, rather than think.)
Definitely going with too scared I can't pull it off AND who the f*ck do you think you are to have the idea you can make money doing that?
In large part because of things that have been repeatedly screamed at me and I quote - because these things have been hurled at me so often they are burned into my brain – and come up often in times of self doubt as a result:
"No one wants what you do! No one is buying your art! Get a straw, suck it up, and go get a real f*cking job!"
And it wasn't strangers spearing my dreams with those gems - it was my husband, my mother, my sister, my brother, and people I loved as dear friends. All screaming the same horrible scripts. And that's the extent of my family. I don't have kindly aunts or caring grandmothers or anyone like that to counter the dream smashing. So to be daring and do the work I love to do that calls me like nothing else does - not even the most divine chocolate - means going it alone. And that's scary - even with beacons of light sprinkled across the internet like the Middle Finger Project. There have been times when the only shoulder I had to cry on or encourage me to keep rebelling and painting was a random post on the Middle Finger Project blog. So you Ash, you hold a special place in my heart for being safe to be real and truly myself with - via internet magic.
***uploading virtual hug***
💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
Internet magic ✨ is awesome. Keep going!! 🥹🤗
At my lowest point I often thought to myself that my only support was myself and death in itself because like you I have negative support around me. We got this and will beat this 💪 and thank God for Ash and her emails!!!!
Sending you a giant supportive hug of love and understanding! <3 <3 <3
WHHHYYYYY for the love of drinking maraschino cherry juice straight out of the bottle (a personal favorite of mine) do I give two f*cks what anyone thinks? But yet, here I am, and I do.
You know, people always used to ask me: "How did you get the nerve to write some of the things you did at The Middle Finger Project? Weren't you worried about what other people thought?" And I remember thinking to myself that removing myself from my local community and being global was a huge help in that; it introduced distance to judgment, even though I'm sure it still existed, and let me be free to explore my ideas without worrying about what X, Y, and Z person would comment to me down at the local diner. Now that I've purchased this property here and am diving back into the community a little, I already feel that pressure. I can only imagine what that feels like with a lifetime of it.
That cherry juice is amazing! And so good poured over a brownie!
MMMM! 🍒🍒🍒
What if you can't see outside of how things are done already to come up with something creative and amazing?
I see these ideas - like the flower trash cans or the stone mason and think they are incredible but I don't know how to translate it to making websites. It sounds dumb even writing that, but in a land of Squarespace and Tonic templates for Showit websites, people can make great looking sites themselves (they can also mess it up and make something very ho-hum). So where is my space? What is my amazing thing that I do?
Here's a fun thought exercise: if you could make 100 websites, completely on your own time, assuming money was no issue, what would you create?
It's so interesting you write this - last night I was marvelling at my 15 year old son's creativity in his Nightcore lyric videos he creates. He started only a year ago and has created 52 videos across his two YouTube channels - just for the pure pleasure of it, for himself and anyone who watches, great.
I decided that I would create a website a week over the coming year, sample sites for various imaginary businesses, just to expand my skills and thoughts on what I can create - like my son has done.
Then you come and say make 100 websites on your own time - this is synchronicity - thank you.
I shall start creating, with no client pressure, just for the pure enjoyment and exploration of it.
Being crapped on even when hella excited shrivelled my jump into the fire and do it anyway attitude. I’m trying to get back into it and rebuilding my courage and excitement for doing things that light me up even if nobody else agrees with what I want to do.
In fact, my sister and I are starting an online shop designing sassy shirts. We just picked our first round of designs to go public with!
You ARE?! Go V!!!!!!!!!! You better keep us updated!!!!!!!!!!
Totes will!! We’re excited to do something together and put our sassy side out there 😆
Naming the shop has been a challenge (why is everything taken?!) so we’re doing it imperfect and getting the merch up to start spreading the word sans name 🤷🏼♀️ Our goal is to make it sassy classy and a lil badassy!
We did secure a domain (Life Love & Rebellion) that fits what we want to blog about as we head into next year...
I'd actually say it's B & C. Too scared to take the leap (e.g., not knowing what exact steps to take & doing it on your own is kinda scary. Can I get a hand to hold while we go through these dark woods together?) & the financial handcuffs, which for myself is good ol' bad debt. It's always there like an old couch.
However, I do know that one win, even a small one, can change your fuckin' WORLD! One win, and your cooking tastes better, the tequila hits right, your confidence jacks up to "the baddest bitch" levels, and you BELIEVE all things are possible! That you CAN do this!
So it really is about getting to that first (even breadcrumb sized) win.
Yes Gigi!!!! Just one small win.........right!!!!!
One small win can change the trajectory of your life. And with that in mind, imagine what a collective of small wins would do for you.😏
I think I don’t know what I want to explore or I don’t have enough space to think of ideas. So I fall back to what I know. Also, inevitably the next thought after an idea is ‘how are you going to make money doing that???!’
The trash can flower dude is amazing. Because 1. That is no easy feat. I’m sure each arrangement cost several hundreds of dollars to put together. Maybe because he worked as a florist he had access to the left over, not so perfect specimens and they were going to be trashed anyway???! If so, it makes his arrangements even more compelling, and maybe how he got the idea???!! And a great origin story.
2. If I had this idea I would have crushed it by asking myself, how am I going to make any money from arranging discard flowers in garbage cans, for Pete’s sake??? Lol 😂 Around and around the ideas go and never get off the ground. 😏
I totally took notes from your comment, Elle! "How are you going to make money doing that?" is definitely one of the biggest mental roadblocks, preventing people from even dreaming in the first place. And with good reason!
In this case, finding your passion IS the marketing move that will allow you to get paid for it. But, it's gotta be public. And it's gotta be passion. Then, you can have your pick of clients, because they will ALL want to hire the woman who spearheaded THAT incredible initiative!