You know me, Elle! Also, WHAT!!! I did not know you had your own Substack now!!!! I'm OBSESSED. I just took a screenshot thinking I could upload it here but it looks like I can't. But, I am so into this, Elle! You GO!!!!!!!!!
This scares me. Have you not watched the Murder in the Heartland series??? If I were American living in a hamlet or small town, I'd never turn on my porch light and yell at randos. 🤣
However, I understand the metaphorical point you're trying to make. I, too, got sick of people wanting me to share every part of myself in my 40s. That's the best part of the 50s where i currently reside...you have perfected the art of NO by this stage. You're just in the steep learning curve now. It's so much better up here 😁
LOL! No, I have totally not seen that series!!! And now I can't decide if I'm tempted to GO see it, or NEVER see it. 🤣 (But when you word it like that - "If I were American living in a hamlet or small town, I'd never turn on my porch light and yell at randos" that does sound dangerous! LOL LOL LOL!!!)
This gave me full-on Children of the Corn chills. Anytime someone randomly parks near my house, my inner monologue immediately goes, 'Welp, now what are they doing and what do they want?!' I can practically hear the ominous violins, and suddenly, I’m the reluctant protagonist in a Stephen King novel.
Honestly, you were right to flick that porch light on with all the authority of someone ready to banish demons—or door-to-door church folk (both certain they have something you desperately need). Good for you to tell them to move along. Just think if you didn’t. You’d spend your evening cramped up, hiding behind the sofa and pretending you’re not home. LOL!!!
I'm not sure which church they were coming from, but if it happened to be the pretty Lutheran one at the other end of the hamlet (I doubt it???) they have a huge parking lot over there, LOL.
Also "hamlet" is now my favorite word.
Double also: how is it going with THE ROOF KING?!?!?!?!?
Bahahahahaha. They have my proposal. Deadline is the 22nd. I gave them a project price and they came back with the question. "Is that your monthly fee?" 🙈🙈 I guess I should have priced it higher. LOL!!!
I'm with you here sister, however where I live now, not really a problem, as no one in their right mind parks on someone else's property in rural Alaska as they don't call it the last Frontier for nothing. If you park you better be knocking on the door to ask for help or be visiting someone you know lol. Now in Colorado I lived in the mountains and I thought I had escaped this especially living on the side of a mountain with a driveway you could snow board down, but I didn't. Although I went to a Lutheran school for 6 years, I don't want nor do I appreciate strangers knocking on my door to leave me pamphlets not to mention it sets off the 5 dog alarm which when working at home is annoying. The Malinois and German Shepherds, standing in the window, prepared to take your arm is not enough to scare them off. So I hung a horse head skeleton (real one) above my door and put an 1800's cauldron that weighs 300 pounds in front of the deck. No one came back after that :). We could probably be more polite as we get older but I find as I get older, I'm less tolerant of bad behavior.
You are too funny, Melanie!!!! I can *so* picture this, now that we had our consult!! Also, there is a Lutheran church at the other end of the hamlet - are pamphlets a thing? Was trying to work out where they might have been coming from.
Anything to keep the community guessing :) I've not known Lutheran churches to do the whole walking and pamphlets thing but religion as a whole is taking new turns so it's possible I guess.
Yes, yes, YES- all of this!!!! We need to get comfortable with the fact that we are entitled to speak our minds clearly and hold our space for ourselves and also other people that are too afraid to do it unless they see someone set the example first! (In almost all cases I'd add speak respectfully, but I can think of a lot of examples where that's not required- and to clarify, in this case I do think you spoke respectfully!)
PS menopause is wonderful for this- it's this feeling of freedom from giving a f*** about what people think about you x 10! 😉
Finally - a bright spot in the pending M ZONE!!!!! My girlfriend Michelle has been *roasting *for years from menopause—I'm nervous about the hot thing. I moved out of the tropics so I could stop being so hot! 🥵 🤣
I adored every word of this!!! 😂 Some days I swear I need to be ran over by a dump truck in order to learn the lesson that IT'S OK TO PUT MY NEEDS FIRST. ACTUALLY, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO CONSTANTLY IGNORE MY OWN NEEDS. CHRIST. Anywho, thank you for this gentler but no less impactful lesson of standing up for yourself. Amen. Errr, Well done.
THIS IS ME WITH THE PELOTON. GET ON THE FUCKING PELOTON, ASH. DO NOT IGNORE YOUR BODY'S NEEDS (which are clearly, like, "yo, check your triglycerides.)
I'm right there with you saying NO. No more. It's the assumption that gets me fired up. The assuming permission is given. The habit of taking without considering the perspective of the person being taken from. Being lost or in need of help is one thing. It's the purpose and intent that bring out the growls. I know that can get all twisted up in odd ways, yet as a creative, the parking on my lawn is how I feel about AI. Get the fuck off my painted lawn, my drawn trees, and my written garden. And don't you dare to wade into astrology waters AI. GRRRRR. Porch light on bright!
YES!!!!! The assumption! That *is* what has been firing me up about that scene. I also had a whole crew of heavy truck operators stop one day, back up onto the area, and then park their trucks there...because they were going to be re-blacktopping some guy's driveway all the way down the road. And I'm just like - why wouldn't you at least ask my permission?
Smashley......Hahaaaahhhaaaaaaha!!😂😂🤣🤣 You tell 'em!!!
You know me, Elle! Also, WHAT!!! I did not know you had your own Substack now!!!! I'm OBSESSED. I just took a screenshot thinking I could upload it here but it looks like I can't. But, I am so into this, Elle! You GO!!!!!!!!!
Yes, yes, yes!!!! After your tutelage in last spring's newsletter writing course I took the plunge!!!!
This scares me. Have you not watched the Murder in the Heartland series??? If I were American living in a hamlet or small town, I'd never turn on my porch light and yell at randos. 🤣
However, I understand the metaphorical point you're trying to make. I, too, got sick of people wanting me to share every part of myself in my 40s. That's the best part of the 50s where i currently reside...you have perfected the art of NO by this stage. You're just in the steep learning curve now. It's so much better up here 😁
LOL! No, I have totally not seen that series!!! And now I can't decide if I'm tempted to GO see it, or NEVER see it. 🤣 (But when you word it like that - "If I were American living in a hamlet or small town, I'd never turn on my porch light and yell at randos" that does sound dangerous! LOL LOL LOL!!!)
Lol Discovery+, baby!! There's a whole array of true crime series you never want to watch but still want to watch 😄
This gave me full-on Children of the Corn chills. Anytime someone randomly parks near my house, my inner monologue immediately goes, 'Welp, now what are they doing and what do they want?!' I can practically hear the ominous violins, and suddenly, I’m the reluctant protagonist in a Stephen King novel.
Honestly, you were right to flick that porch light on with all the authority of someone ready to banish demons—or door-to-door church folk (both certain they have something you desperately need). Good for you to tell them to move along. Just think if you didn’t. You’d spend your evening cramped up, hiding behind the sofa and pretending you’re not home. LOL!!!
I'm not sure which church they were coming from, but if it happened to be the pretty Lutheran one at the other end of the hamlet (I doubt it???) they have a huge parking lot over there, LOL.
Also "hamlet" is now my favorite word.
Double also: how is it going with THE ROOF KING?!?!?!?!?
Hamlet has ALWAYS made me think of an omelet with ham. It's a weird word.
Bahahahahaha. They have my proposal. Deadline is the 22nd. I gave them a project price and they came back with the question. "Is that your monthly fee?" 🙈🙈 I guess I should have priced it higher. LOL!!!
Just wait till you hit your 50’s.
I might finally become a bonafide bitch! In the BEST way! 🤣
Me sentiments exactly.
I'm with you here sister, however where I live now, not really a problem, as no one in their right mind parks on someone else's property in rural Alaska as they don't call it the last Frontier for nothing. If you park you better be knocking on the door to ask for help or be visiting someone you know lol. Now in Colorado I lived in the mountains and I thought I had escaped this especially living on the side of a mountain with a driveway you could snow board down, but I didn't. Although I went to a Lutheran school for 6 years, I don't want nor do I appreciate strangers knocking on my door to leave me pamphlets not to mention it sets off the 5 dog alarm which when working at home is annoying. The Malinois and German Shepherds, standing in the window, prepared to take your arm is not enough to scare them off. So I hung a horse head skeleton (real one) above my door and put an 1800's cauldron that weighs 300 pounds in front of the deck. No one came back after that :). We could probably be more polite as we get older but I find as I get older, I'm less tolerant of bad behavior.
You are too funny, Melanie!!!! I can *so* picture this, now that we had our consult!! Also, there is a Lutheran church at the other end of the hamlet - are pamphlets a thing? Was trying to work out where they might have been coming from.
Anything to keep the community guessing :) I've not known Lutheran churches to do the whole walking and pamphlets thing but religion as a whole is taking new turns so it's possible I guess.
Yes, yes, YES- all of this!!!! We need to get comfortable with the fact that we are entitled to speak our minds clearly and hold our space for ourselves and also other people that are too afraid to do it unless they see someone set the example first! (In almost all cases I'd add speak respectfully, but I can think of a lot of examples where that's not required- and to clarify, in this case I do think you spoke respectfully!)
PS menopause is wonderful for this- it's this feeling of freedom from giving a f*** about what people think about you x 10! 😉
Finally - a bright spot in the pending M ZONE!!!!! My girlfriend Michelle has been *roasting *for years from menopause—I'm nervous about the hot thing. I moved out of the tropics so I could stop being so hot! 🥵 🤣
Amen, sister. Imagine how you'll feel at 60 if you don't do it now?
Ha ha, you can picture the scene, Andrea!!!
"...spreading religion like an STD" is now seared into my vernacular forever. 😄
You're entering your perimenopause metamorphosis, Ash. When it's complete you'll emerge a pissed off 50-year-old butterfly. 🦋
I adored every word of this!!! 😂 Some days I swear I need to be ran over by a dump truck in order to learn the lesson that IT'S OK TO PUT MY NEEDS FIRST. ACTUALLY, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO CONSTANTLY IGNORE MY OWN NEEDS. CHRIST. Anywho, thank you for this gentler but no less impactful lesson of standing up for yourself. Amen. Errr, Well done.
THIS IS ME WITH THE PELOTON. GET ON THE FUCKING PELOTON, ASH. DO NOT IGNORE YOUR BODY'S NEEDS (which are clearly, like, "yo, check your triglycerides.)
I'm right there with you saying NO. No more. It's the assumption that gets me fired up. The assuming permission is given. The habit of taking without considering the perspective of the person being taken from. Being lost or in need of help is one thing. It's the purpose and intent that bring out the growls. I know that can get all twisted up in odd ways, yet as a creative, the parking on my lawn is how I feel about AI. Get the fuck off my painted lawn, my drawn trees, and my written garden. And don't you dare to wade into astrology waters AI. GRRRRR. Porch light on bright!
YES!!!!! The assumption! That *is* what has been firing me up about that scene. I also had a whole crew of heavy truck operators stop one day, back up onto the area, and then park their trucks there...because they were going to be re-blacktopping some guy's driveway all the way down the road. And I'm just like - why wouldn't you at least ask my permission?