How to Stop Forcing Sh*t
A user’s guide to not burning out in the name of ambition
Maybe in order to figure out what you really *do* want to do with your career—for once! for all!—we should stop thinking about all of the possibilities, and start thinking about the impossibilities.
What things feel impossible for you to do anymore, at this stage of your life?
I’m not talking about going to dinner at 9pm. That’s for people who still have hope.
I’m talking about the things you’ve learned about yourself, over a lifetime of learnings, what you absolutely hate doing. We need to honor those things. Worship those things. The things you hate need to be held in the highest regard—even though it is your tendency to want to dismiss them, ignore them, try to overcome them, blame yourself for not being able to “just do them, already.”
You aren’t defective because you don’t like something.
You are wise because you know you don’t like something.
Think about that reframe, eh? 🪄
😞 I hate doing this, I suck.
❌ That thing sucks, it does not suit my preferences.
One of them assumes that you are weak. The other assumes you are discerning.
✨ ✨ ✨ “It does not suit my preferences.” ✨ ✨ ✨
That gives Queen of England energy. Helen Mirren in 1923 energy. French art critic energy. Southern grandma in pearls energy.
Memorize this line. It’s important for your confidence. It reminds you that you are allowed to have preferences. That your taste, decision-making, and feelings are sound.
“It does not suit my preferences” reminds us that we are in control. That perhaps the world should try harder to please us, rather than the other way around.
If you are avoidant of certain things—talking to crowds of people / making videos online / selling yourself on webinars / scheduling a calendar full of meetings—it’s not because you are a limp little flea.
It’s because:
YOU DON’T FUCKING LIKE THOSE THINGS.
THOSE THINGS DO NOT SUIT YOUR PREFERENCES.
AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WASTE YOUR TIME DOING THINGS THAT BETRAY YOUR STRENGTHS.