3 Scripts for Firing a Client Who's Just Not on Your Level

Without seeming like a jerk, of course 😁

There is nothing worse than:

1. A giant, furry, asshole of a spider 🕷️ showing up in your shower WHILE YOU’RE NAKED AND SOAPY AND SCREAMING (ask me how I know).

2. Having a client you’re desperate to fire (but how?!)

While a good ol’ can of Raid takes care of the spider issue, unfortunately there isn’t “Raid for Humans.” (But, omg, did I just come up with the best invention ever???)

Alas, if you’re a creative, and you’re hiring yourself out, eventually it’s going to happen: eventually, you will wish you never took their money.

[Cue mental breakdown here]

CYWF (clients you wanna fire) come in all shapes and sizes: there’s the client who micromanages and nitpicks and thinks they can do the job better than the person they hired to do it 😉; there’s the client who goes MIA and disappears for weeks on end and can never provide timely feedback and puts a major kink in your project schedule; there’s the client who is relying on arbitrary signs from the universe that the headline you wrote, or the font you picked, or the photographs you took, are going to work; there’s the client who emails twice a day with ‘additional thoughts’—and always in a new email—that takes up 7 pages; there’s the client who wants you to do unethical things, like make up testimonials or put stats on their website that are not true; there’s the client who never pays their bills on time; there’s the client who is always asking for a discount (and making you feel guilty); and, of course, there’s the most exotic breed of all: the client who’s simply a ruthless shitpuddle.

In all of these cases—and so many more—terminating a client relationship is the most appropriate (and healthy) thing to do. After all, you can’t grow your business if you’re spinning your wheels in a constant stream of agony.

But, woooooooooo, is it a doozy!

You don’t have the words.
You don’t know what to say.
You don’t know how to say it.
You’re worried they’ll be mad.
Terrified they’ll post negative reviews.
Unsure how to detangle yourself from the project.
And, um…not sure you can afford to be without the work, frankly. (We’ve all been there!)

Fortunately, finding the right words is my specialty, along with that one leftover slice of pizza in the freezer.

And, believe it or not?

Having the right words can change everything. I’ve never seen a bigger confidence booster in M’LIFE. When you have the right words, you have power. When you don’t have the right words, you have fear.

Words are tiny little muscles.

And today, I’m going to give you some!

3 Awesome Scripts to Try (When You Need to Fire a Client With Grace, Empathy, and Kindness)