Ask Ash: 'Should I Go Into Business With a Friend?'
I mean, I dunno, do you have a knife?
Dear Ash,
I want to start a travel company with my best friend—we work so well together, and we would have so much fun! Buuuuut, I’m also worried that if it doesn’t work out, it could seriously ruin our friendship. I know you have done several joint venture partnerships in the past: what’s your advice on going into business with a friend? Should I do it, or should I bite the bullet and just fly solo???
Sincerely,
Worried & Peeing Herself
Dear Worried & Peeing Herself (me too, most days),
Funny you should mention this: I’ve JUST been chatting with my very bestest biz babe Jamie Varon on an exciting new collaboration. (Shhh!) Which is to say, this topic is fresh in my mind—and I have plenty of advice to give: the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Definitely stay tuned for the ugly—you’ll never believe what I’m about to tell you.)
First of all, you’re absolutely right: working with a partner toward a business goal can be so fun, and so energizing, and so rewarding. (Even if you hate people, like me.) There’s something really energizing about working together as a team. (Even if you hate teams, like me.) You share the ups and the downs, you have someone to bounce ideas off of, you can brainstorm together, split the workload, bring different skills to the table, and feel like you are A PART OF SOMETHING. This is so weirdly lovely: when you work for yourself, it’s easy to feel isolated. This is especially true for nomads working from anywhere: not only are you professionally isolated, but you’re socially isolated in some ways, too, since you are traveling without your usual network. Having a biz partner can help alleviate a lot of that, since you’re working together regularly online, chatting, and working toward something bigger than yourselves.
Another pro? It’s way less scary. TEN THOUSAND PERCENT this is one of the biggest reasons people do go into business together: it alleviates a lot of the “holy shit I have no idea what I’m doing” feeling. Now, you can feel that together, with another person, and then blame them when it all goes wrong. (Actually don’t do that.)
But seriously: having a business partner can give you a little extra backbone to pursue the biiiiig stuff. You know, the kind of stuff you’re secretly dreaming about doing but it’s a little intimidating because who are you to do that??? And how would you do it all? And isn’t that a little nutty? On the other hand, with a partner in tow, everything feels more approachable. You guys can be nutbags together—and isn’t that great?
These are all reasons I LOVE collaborating. The energy! The enthusiasm! The teamwork! The sense of accomplishment! Plus, it’s really nice to have someone to share the burden with when the tech goes wonky, or a customer is unhappy, or the taxes are due, or the contractor disappeared. It’s also nice to have someone to share the expenses with, making some ventures more palatable for the ol’ bank account.
But these are things you already know.
You already know the good stuff. You’re already imagining how great it could be. Friends + business + money + passions = happily ever after, right? What could go wrong?
That’s exactly what I’m here for: to rain on your parade and your little Target rainboots.
Just kidding, Target rainboots are legit. But what I do want to do is help you understand the hard stuff about partnerships, so you can decide if you really want to go down this road (and make sure your friend is not a lunatic and can handle the hard stuff).
Because, lemme tell ya: there is ONE BIG THING that ruins even the best of partnerships, and it’s not what you think. Believe it or not, it isn’t money. It isn’t a mismatch of personalities. It isn’t different visions for the company. It isn’t that you’re bad at business, or they’re bad at business, or both of you are heinous freaks. (In other words, all the stuff you’re probably worried about.)
Rather, there is one super surprising, weird little detail that you you gotta get hammered out before going into business with another person, and I guarantee it’s the one thing you probably haven’t thought through yet. (Because none of us did in the beginning!)
In fact, most new partnerships never figure this out until it’s too late. (And you’re both pissed & writing passive aggressive emails.)
I’ve seen this happen way too many times: it’s happened to me when I was younger and less experienced, it’s happened to friends who are experienced, it’s happened to clients, it’s happened to the Pope.
Because you know the #1 thing that ruins every partnership I’ve ever seen?And the #1 thing you NEED to get right before you go into business with your friend?
Here it is—the surprising piece of advice you’d never guess: